deernet | un: klapbak

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un: klapbak | video

Surprise, bitch. I lived.

(Have Eddie, flipping the camera off with his right hand aka his prosthetic.

Eddie looks different than the last time most people had seen him. For starters, he has a green undertone to his skin. For another, his tongue is completely black. Behind him is an empty room with gray floorboards and peeling green walls. It at least looks clean. There's a Gucci suitcase on its side, opened up, with clothes spilling over and across the floor. Another Gucci suitcase sits next to it, but it has been partially charred.

A dog is passed out and snoring rather loudly in the opened suitcase.

Despite his on-point meme drop, Eddie's delivery is completely and suspiciously blank. His gray eyes are flat, and his expression remains completely empty.)

Richie's here too. (As if on-demand, a massive fireball blast out from the doorway of a nearby room followed by some crashing and yelling. Eddie doesn't even bother to glance over his shoulder.)

We're settling in okay. We're in Lumenwood. I've got some of my supplies from Deerington but I've got a shitton of stuff I need to restock.

(Which was going to be such a drag.)

But for those on a need-to-know basis, I've already made some important notes on this place. Not that any of you give a shit, but if you do...I guess we were given journals for a reason. I suck at journaling though. Here's a uh --- transcipt? Is that what it's called? Whatever, I typed it up.

(He shrugs. The screen goes blank only to be followed up by some text that Eddie clearly wrote up ahead of time:)

IMPORTANT TRENCH ~~NOTES~~ ~~SHIT~~ STUFF?
i dont know i dont normally do the note takin thing so feel grateful

1.)

our blood's fucking weird now but also no shit it's weird now is anyone surprised

give me your blood so i can figure it out. i studied hematology a LOT

last time i checked out my blood under a scope it was totally different than what it is now on a cellular level.

i actually tried to expose my blood to some bacteria and germs that would usually cause an infection and it was really weird? what look like my new white cells just immediately seemed to swallow up the bacteria and it was like it never existed at all

thats not to say you should run around and stab yourself with a rusty fork anytime soon

but it'd be cool if i could get more samples to see if this is just a Me thing or an Us thing

2.)

i spit on richie and we figured out that my spit can cause a numbing feeling. if you ever need to spit on you, let me know
it's probably gonna be useful if anyone gets injured
normally i would say don't let someone spit in your open wounds
but my spit is totally sanitary
i swear

(shut the hell up)

3.)

only 1/3rd of my closet made it here and no im not ready to talk about it. this place doesn't even have goddamn chanel

4.)

taylor swift still exists so we're gonna be okay

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

medical people doing research ALWAYS sound like supervillains theres like literally no way around it
do you know how long it took for people to be able to use cadavers for the benefit of learning how science works without society flipping an absolute fuck over it

(He does not actually deny that Ryan should be cautious around him. That was an entirely different subject though and he wasn't sure he wanted to break the news to his new friend that Eddie had a body count and a bad track record. But he doesn't want to leave him in the dark so...He gives a mild warning at best:)

wont lie i can kind of be a nightmare to deal with sometimes ya
so you're not like completely off base

aids. right youre from the 1980s too. richies terrified of that shit. i was too for a long time. i actually thought i HAD aids just cause
well
you know
i just figured i naturally had it
but then i figured out how it actually worked and felt kind of stupid. i dont think aids is even possible in this world.
well dont quote me on that but i really dont think it is

i dont have fun bandaids but i can make some
i definitely have lollipops
you can even hold my dog while you get it done

wasn't there like. a lot of grave robbing or something? haha how many graves have you robbed my dude?

[He's kidding, though he does hope the answer is at least close to zero! He also assumes that Eddie's joking in a self-deprecating sort of way, so he doesn't challenge or question it.]

yeah. honestly everyone where I'm from is kinda terrified so he's not wrong
people call it a "gay plague" and act like you can get it from breathing on someone wrong or being in the same room as a queer guy or like it's some kind of bullshit divine punishment sooooo like you wouldn't be the first person to think that either
it fucking sucks

[He can only handle this much genuine emotion about something extremely difficult in his life for so long though, so he pivots right back into joking around.]

also I am totally quoting you on it, my hopes are way WAY up. my bubble cannot be burst. this is a solid steel bubble of optimism right here. wow, I can't believe aids is over forever!!! :)!!!

oh my god yeeeeeeeeeesssssssss
honestly you should lead with that you'll probably get more takers
"who wants to hold my dog (and also get their blood drawn)????"

well yeah there was this whole period of time where a lot of sketchy shit was happening i wontl ie to you the history of medical education is super fucked up
there's no real way around it it just is

i couldn't rob graves back in deerington cause there weren't really dead bodies to ROB
but sometimes there were like zombie people?
it's not like I'm a sadist i tried to save most of them but like you cant save everyone
and

what do you do with the body you know

okay listen i realize I'm not helping my case here at ALL

point is i didn't rob graves i don't even have the upper arm body strength for that i have one arm and no abs

(Tragically.)

i do however have incredible thighs for the record
it is cause i bike and walk everywhere
but unless grave robbing involves using your legs to kick dirt out of the way i ain't suit for it

okay
I'm gonna stop talking about grave robbing now

yeah. i remember reading about it. it's really sad
and it seems like the future doesn't even care that much about it. i still meet a lot of people who don't seem to really care or feel that impacted by it? people not caring that this entire group of people was just left to literally fucking die
an be treated like lepers

we didn't have aids in the 50s but people still thought you were some kind of sickl if that's how you were like "send them to the loony bin" or "your sexually depraved and perverted" or whatever. it was like an actual "mental illness"

it really does fucking suck

(In summary.)

i actually wonder if aids being impossible here has changed peoples ideas towards gay dudes?
huh
granted people always find something to hate but still i might look into that

your not wrong my dog is super fckn cute

haha okay. for your benefit I will let it go
instead of asking if you WOULD rob a grave if you could
which is definitely a thing I am wondering now!!!

anyway this is me not asking that this is me letting it go I am opening the window and dropping the grave robbing talk two stories to the street. you could probably rob the grave of the grave robbing talk!

[This is not helping, so he'll just. Move on.]

yeah. that was the case for a while. I think they stopped calling it a mental illness liiiiiike ten years ago my time? so there was this really great golden age of gay that I grew up in
like don't get me wrong people were still awful, but. less?
music got really queer and all the best acts are bisexual in my one hundred percent unBIased opinion. ;)

[Haha, isn't he hilarious?]

so things were good for a bit, glam rock got popular, and then yknow
aids came along
so it was this weird roller coaster of
gay people are mentally ill -> actually no they're okay and can sing pretty good -> just kidding they might literally give us gay flu and make us die
we're kinda right back to square one

huh! I didn't put that together, but maybe! no one's batted an eye at me.

[That alone is surprising. He knows how he comes off, and the looks he's gotten when people don't think he's looking. None of that has really happened here.]

since you're dropping it i totally will not answer that question
but i will clarify that it's not like i WANT To rob graves
its just that sometimes dead bodies are useful to science and youre dead so it's not like your using your body anymore

thats all
im saying

did you know body farms exist? not here

well actually maybe here? shit now im gonna look into that.

(Note to self: does Trench throw bodies out and see what happens...)

were they like actually bisexual
or did they just use like
queer baiting to be scandalous

cause i know that was a big thing too

not to like blow out your wind or whatever

(Eddie's...only mildly jealous of bisexual people. There were just nowhere near as many gay musicians or artists or media to be able to look up to. Especially not in the 1950s. The most he ever had was the heavy hints in shit like Rebel Without a Cause and the occasional very suggestive western. But the HAYS code was strong back in the 50s.)

thats good though man. im glad some queer people got to grow up with like
people to look up to?
i honestly never had that until i left my world and came to these ones

(Jealous he may be, but spiteful he at least wasn't. He sincerely was glad other people had that even if it sometimes made him feel lonely in this weird, roundabout way.)

yeah i feel like a lot of queer culture is only really admired when people can make money off of it or exploit it and then when people are reminded of the actual queerness they're like "ew no thanks"

ya but have you been like making out with dudes in the streets

body farm just sounds like a super creepy thing to call a cemetery. or like. a serial killer's house.
please don't go to a serial killer's pad for science.

[It's probably not that, but he's seen weirder things!]

?????
what's queerbaiting
seriously I have no clue what you're talking about

[This is a new experience for him! Learning about future music was one thing, but he's not at all used to having to ask what queer slang is - usually he's the one filling other people in.]

it takes a lot of practice figuring out where to look for it
lucked out with learning about David Bowie super early though, even if he sold out for more closet space if you know what I mean
it's always funny when people think something isn't queer when it totally is though
like. dude has anyone told you about disco?????
holy shit you would be SO into disco. people tried to kill disco but disco will never actually die as long as there are queer people who want to dance.

[It's a good test to see if someone's music opinion is worth anything - ask them what they think about disco. It's also usually a good way to find the homophobe in the room, according to Ryan.]

well no
but that's more of a not having dudes to to make out with in the streets problem really

a body farm is a place of SCIENCE ryan
it's where people put dead bodies DONATED to science to see how different circumstances impact decay rates
like what happens to a dead body under the sun or frozen or stuff like that

it did wonders for the field of understanding how to figure out how people died

i'll try not to lure myself towards any serial killer types if they come up. pinkie promise

oh well let me think

(Eddie never felt like he was equipped to explain this shit especially through text. He was not a good writer.)

it's basically when straight people realize queer people want to see parts of themselves in media
and so they use certain queer culture things to be like "see? we're acknowledging that you exist! isnt that awesome! maybe we'll even let this character or this thing be ACTUALLY queer"
and then they're like "psyche lol it's not fucking queer are you goddamn crazy? how could you even think that"

and with a lot of dude musicians they'd use like
drag and queer stuff to be like oh look at us pushing gender norms
but like also they were just a bunch of straight white dudes who can do whatever the fuck they want and not ACTUALLY have to deal with the consequences of being queer so it was no skin off their bakck
but they still got all the credit for being "ballsy" enough to do shit like wear mkae up on stage or whatever the fuck

and a lot of the time celebrities will like briefly call themselves something like bisexual to be mysterious and then years late rbe like "i was just saying that for attention" it's really shitty basically
like there was these asshole russian chicks who pretended to be lesbians and used a lot of lesbianism stuff in their music to get attention
but then one of them was actually super homophobic and just was like we were just using it because we know people like seeing girls kiss i hate that life

it can get fucked up really quick basically

(Eddie's knowledge of queer baiting was extremely disjointed, admittedly, but he had learned most of it from Chloe who had been from the early 2000s. He didn't get the full scope, but he understood it enough. He also understood it enough to realize why he was so uncomfortable with certain male hair bands from the 70s and 80s.)

no what do you mean
im not really into david bowie honestly
which i guess is a sin if your into 80s shit or whatever but
dude seems kind of performative
freddie mercury was cooler

i
fuckin
love disco
someone played me ABBA for the first time like a year ago and i think i transcended
the FASHION alone holy shit
god

(Eddie passed the disco test with flying colors, apparently.)

yea but WOULD you like mack out with a dude in the stret if you HAD one to mack out with in the street

huh!
I've never thought about it like that? that REALLY sucks.

[It takes him a moment to form the thought he's having about this concept. ]

but I don't think I've seen it happen before? not that I don't believe you but like...........
it's not really easy to be a queer musician. where I came from I'm still...not in the closet exactly but like, you have to be careful or places might not even book you. subtlety and secret codes are like eeeeeverything. and like it sucks you've known me like two weeks do you know how BAD I am at subtlety????
really bad!!!!!

there are queer musicians I love but I just can't picture any of them doing it for attention?? usually the thing that happens is like
they wind up having to decide between their popularity and being themselves
like usually the gay part is the thing that gets covered up. it's never in their singles. if you know it's cause you read it in a magazine no one else reads or somebody told you
that's what makes the ones that do shout it from the rooftops fucking amazing

[UghhHHHH Bowie. He has so many feelings about Bowie.]

okay look. it's only a sin if you're into 70s shit.
if you mean his 80s stuff it is the right call because he sure told Rolling Stone that the BIGGEST mistake he EVER made was telling another magazine he was bisexual, and that he was "just experimenting", and then put out the most mediocre album EVER.
seriously Let's Dance is TERRIBLE, he doesn't even sound like himself anymore he sounds like everyone else and it sucks.

but he really was good in the 70s. performative in a good way.
The Rise And Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars has been my favorite album since I was like 6.
he was my Taylor Swift and he turned on me for """""mainstream fame""""" and I'm never going to be over it for the rest of my life.

Freddie Mercury is cooler though for sure.

[Anyway! Moving on!]

ABBA is the best!!!!!
hahaha I stole my sister's ABBA album and never gave it back
there's sooooooo much good disco and so many good queer anthems
like I Will Survive and I'm Coming Out, and just. literally everything the Village People ever did????

[It's such mood whiplash from the Bowie talk but disco is good and important and he has a lot of feelings about it!]

maaaaaybe
is he good-looking? ;)
hypothetical me isn't desperate you know.

im not gonna lie i dont know that much about the 70s and 80s for music. i mostly have listened to obviously the 50s and then pretty much skipped to the 90s and 2000s because that just was easier and what chloe was more into and i got a lot of new music from her

yea i mean sure i dont disagree with you but dont underestimate how shitty straight people can be either
elton john lied about being bi cause it was way safer to be seen as still into women in some way even though he was like actually gay
so that reality was a thing sure absolutely

dude i hate to break it to you but theres an entire part of media where it was a super attention grabby thing for dudes to make gags out of dressing up like women
or acting flamboyantly in a stereotypical gay way
like theres sooo many movies that has a "Gay Character" but it's just some shitty archetype and its not like people did it because they wanted to give gay people a voice
gayness is totally used against gay people and most straight people just see it as a way to be funny
and a lot of chick musicians use the whole "girls kissing girls turn on dudes" thing to be performative that way
YOU might not have seen it but it totally happens

i dont really know any gay musicians outside of elton john and lil nas x if im being totally honest with you
and oh troye sivan
but the last two are like from the WAY future
maybe i just havent really found many gay dudes in music to really know?

ya thats not that shocking not gonna lie but that sucks

thats cool dude it's good you had someone like that
most of my male heroes were like from the 1950s and absolutely no one thinks any of them are cool lol

good she didnt need it anyway
are they really? thats so fucking cool

(Eddie's experience with music was so weird, really. Mostly because while he knew these artists, knew about them, was even a fan of many of them, he didn't grow up or around them so he had zero grasp on their social impact from those time frames.)

he might be
depends on what kind of guys you like
literal me is desperate
i am constantly resistint the urge to make out with my boyfriend

...Elton John isn't bi????

:(

haha a lot of what we have in my time was flamboyant because it was like the only scrap of anything we could get.
honestly the future sounds rad if we actually get to be pickier about that kind of thing though.
even with all the dumb parts where people faked it. I bet it opened doors for a lot of queer bands!!

["Like Chicken Choice Judy" is not said but is heavily implied.]

dude I can fix that for you
none of them are gonna be as obvious about it as lil nas x is but I still know PLENTY
plus you sent me that amazing list of future stuff so I can totally fill in the gaps! I'll totally pick stuff you'll like too, promise!!!

[He's already plotting this list. It's an inevitability now.]

haha!
is he shyer about it or something? no shame in that.
(if he's not though you should totally make out with him in the street and see what happens)
;)

[None of this answers the actual question though, not really. Oh well!]

obviously not. that dude had zero interest in women
it's fine though
for like every one famous gay dude there's ten bi dudes so you're pretty covered on the rep front

(This was probably...insensitive to say, Eddie!!!

But he's also so jaded at this point.)

if it has i dont know them
so i dont know if it actually has opened any doors
considering i can only name two dudes i dont feel that optimistic about it

really?
you know gay bands?
like ACTUAL full ass dick in mouth gay bands from top to bottom?

(Eddie's mystified by the idea. Gay guys formed bands? Why had no one told him this.)

tell me everything right now

i wouldnt really call him shy
it's more like
he doesnt wanna be seen with a dude in public like that
we like dont even hold hands in public i think he'd freak the fuck out if i ever kissed him in public

(WHY IS THIS CONVERSATION...SUDDENLY SO DEPRESSING...)

which is fine whatever not everyones into pda

uh, noooo?
bi dudes get so much shit and no one even remembers anyway cause you always get the same bs of like, a bi guy is actually gay but trying to hide it or a bi girl is straight but looking for attention
and it sucks whenever that turns out to be true because ughhh you don't want them proving people right
at least if you tell someone you're gay people actually BELIEVE you
like haha ask any of my ex-girlfriends about it I'm sure they'd LOVE the chance to go on a long rant about dating bi guys! fun time for everyone right there!

[Wow, this did get depressing. It's probably more than he should have admitted but, well. He knows who he is. He just moves on though, as though he's totally over it.]

well yeah the scene is super underground but that doesn't mean it isn't there
they walked so lil nas x could run
and honestly a bunch of them wanted to stay underground anyway because the actual punk scene is uhhh nooooot always great

anyway this is why I know that not only do gay bands exist but there is even one literally so dick in mouth that they are CALLED the Dicks. they're great they reeeeeeeally hate the police! I can't believe the omnis HAVE any of their stuff wow I love the future

i'll send you a ton of stuff you are going to get an education in gay music of my time. some of them will even be musicians other people know!!!

[Oh. ...Oh, that last part hurts his heart a little, but Ryan completely understands.]

oh ok
but like. you said he's from my time, right? sooo
if it helps I don't think it's about you or even about dudes in general?
even I'd probably only hold a guy's hand if I was like TOTALLY sure we were in a safe place cause you never know who's going to see you minding your own business and make their discomfort your problem. with their fists. he might just be looking out for you.
I mean you're from the 50s so you know. there's just...still a lot of it in the 80s.

anyway give him time and he might come around once he realizes how chill this place is. like it IS really safe here so far.
and maybe talk to him about it?
couldn't hurt, right?

people absolutely do not always "actually BELIEVE you" when you come out when youre gay i ASSURE you
do you know how many people, ESPECIALLY bi people, have told me i might not actually know im gay and how i could like girls if i gave them a chance "everyone likes girls"
do you know HOW Much ive heard that
constantly
CONSTANTLY
like people hate that i dont like girls and wont even consider the possibility of liking both
it took YEARS before even open minded sleepers dropped trying to tell me i should like girls or that "i dont actually know" if i like them or not
YEARS
and i still get people telling me im "too young to really know"
thats how much
that is not a bi exclusive issue thats like the queer experience. people just wont believe you not even in your own community

and like
laws exist against gay people specifically
the social situation sucks but at least no one's going to tell you you cant get married because your bi UNLESS it's to another dude and thats because people hate the idea of same sex people specifically

you have like a way larger margin than i do for being able to maybe get married to someone you at least love
for me it's 100% impossible no matter who i fall in love with i just can never get married to anyone
end of story

not that i WANT to get married but if i did i never could

(He's Slightly Worked Up now. Though the gay music does help to chill him back down.)

this sounds terrible but im dedicating my life to them purely on principal

that would actually be really cool thanks dude

in speaking of bi dudes you should check out green day the lead singer is super bi. here.
he is also hot which helps

(Eddie 100% loved the grunge aesthetic look.)

we talk about it a lot.
it doesnt help at all actually
i dont know why people from the 80s act like someone from the 50s has literally no idea or experience with homophobia
we didnt even have queer people to look up to you like you guys did
we didnt have a david bowie or a lil nas or a lady gaga or whatever
most we had was the occasional straight person who was applauded for being like "maybe we SHOULDNT burn gay people in hell"
and the occassional rumor that maybe james dean wanted to fuck dudes too but only just maybe

(All right, this anger wasn't even directed at Ryan. This was mostly just stuff he's been roasting over forever now and was probably the biggest thorn in his relationship's side. It was never a pleasant conversation with anyone he had it with.)

people are always telling me this shit like i dont know it already
im not stupid?
i know why he doesnt want touch me in public
it's not like i dont have similar feelings
i was like
literally terrorized by an ACTUAL monster about this shit
ive BEEN beaten up
i get STABBED in the future

like
i understand
i dont need to be told what it's like
i've lived it

hes not looking out for me hes paranoid about how other people see him and he doesnt want to be seen as gay
thats all it is
it's why he still makes a bunch of dumb jokes about wanting to fuck girls all the time
and it goes beyond him just not wanting to hold hands in public

(Eddie takes a deep breath because now it was his turn for him to be showing too much and it's not entirely fair to Richie, not entirely fair to anything, so he stops talking for a few minutes.)

sorry.
it's not your fault
im not upset with you

i shouldnt really be complaining about this shit to someone i barely even know

forget it

[Ryan lets it sit for a moment. Probably long enough for Eddie to wonder if he pissed him off or something, but really he's kind of glad this is happening over text - he's pretty sure he would put his foot in his mouth if he had to answer immediately.

He could argue more about how "no, bi people still have it pretty bad" and he has a least a half dozen more points he could make but that seems kind of futile. They both know where they're coming from. Neither of them are wrong, and he doesn't really want to fight about it.]

yknow
I think people just don't like seeing someone comfortable in their sexuality if its not what they think its supposed to be
and then they harass you about it as though they know what you like better than you do.
it's none of their business and it's not up to them!!!
you know yourself and I know myself
soooo screw everyone else right?

[There's already so much dumb infighting in their community as it is.]

yeah. I know you know about aids but did anyone tell you about the blood donation thing??
I feel like they would've since you're mr. "do you have a syringe I can draw my own blood with" but just in case like. if you've ever had sex with a guy whether you're gay, bi, whatever, you can't donate blood anymore like period. ever. even if you're NOT HIV-positive. it's soooooo stupid!!!

huh. I've never really pictured myself getting married
but
I wonder if you can here???
its not exactly a welcome pamphlet sorta thing - "come visit trench you can marry your gay lover here!!!"
like the whole culture of this place is different and they don't even separate out the clothes into men's and women's so
maybe?????

[Sorry, he got distracted - the thought is kind of blowing his mind. He holds off on his brand new Green Day opinions for now though because the rest seems just a little more important though.]

no its cool
I don't really know either of you
you're not stupid
and sorry you've been through those things.

[He pointedly does not chime in with his own experiences there.]

he shouldn't be joking about that if you've told him it bothers you though
that's what I mean by talking about it
bare minimum there's a middle ground where there's no pda OR straight dude jokes

(It's not really the answer he's looking for, but he realizes he's wanted an apology from the people who have said that shit to him over the years. But Ryan wasn't one of those people. It wasn't really on Ryan to apologize on the behalf of the people who had been fucked up to Eddie about it and those who had been dismissive and pushed the weird "like-both" agenda at him. It wasn't really Ryan who said that shit to him.

It's probably the first time that he's realized maybe he doesn't trust other queer people the way he really wants to and how that feeling was probably mutual for a dozen different reasons.)

i guess

ya i know about that
thats still going on even in the way-way future from both of us apparently
and there's still these censorships in movies where you cant show two dudes being happy together without killing one of them
or making sure they suffer horribly
it kind of sucks
people really just hate the idea of two guys together i suppose

who knows

(He's not even trying to be icy about the marriage thing. He really did just grow up figuring the only kind of marriage he would ever had would be some fucked up marriage to a woman. He really can't wrap his mind around romantic marriage.)

marriage mostly seems like a control thing to me

you could be right

(Ryan did have a point about the clothing thing, admittedly. There seemed to be absolutely no clear binary the way there had been in the world Eddie came from.)

it's fine
sorry for blowing up there

he tries not to with me. he has gotten better about that stuff privately
it's not completely his fault
it's like
a foot in mouth thing he says a lot of stupid shit without meaning to
and a lot of weird defensive shit to try and deflect stuff

i really do get where hes coming from. im just sensitive sometimes about it
i guess i just feel weirdly lonely sometimes
we do talk about it
but i dont want to nag him either and force him out of the closet against his own pacing
i mean im not even really supposed to talk about us to people we dont both know but i sometimes suck at that

well
okay maybe not screw everyone else
kinda defeats the point right?
;)

[Come on, laugh with him! They can totally laugh this off, right?]

yeah. ...they really do.
some of that was getting a little better and then it backslid again.
the 70s were pretty good though. we got Rocky Horror out of it??

[Granted that isn't a great example since people do die it in, but the cultural phenomenon of it all probably gives it a few extra points.]

I just haven't really thought about it. like I can't marry guys and even with girls like. I'd be on the road all the time??? not exactly husband material there.
really I'm just married to my band haha

dude, no, you're good
sometimes you just gotta complain!
there is literally no one in any relationship that doesn't complain about their partner sometimes
it's okay for that stuff to bother you!

[It would be weirder if they got along all the time. Ryan and Min-Gi certainly don't.]

haha oops?
if I meet him I won't tell
or I'll remember to act surprised if he happens to tell me.

(Admittedly, it takes Eddie a solid minute to get the joke. He really should have been born a blond. The world was robbed.)

oh
because i like dudes

haha

(It's actually kind of a funny clarification, and it's hard to convey emotions over text, but Eddie does actually feel a little lighter.)

man i gotta invest more in the 70s and 80s
i wont lie to you ive avoided it forever cause i sometime sget embarrassed when im out of the loop
oh man
okay this is a whole insecure thing that is REALLY weird to explain like it sounds like im tripping on acid but i swear im not
so like my boyfriends from the 1980s
but i haev a version of him from MY world the 1950s right
and he has a version of ME from HIS timeline from the 1980s
and we have really different memories of our lives together but some are kinda the same and we generally recognize each other and feel the same right
but i always have this like
super paranoia that he prefers the 1980s version of me and the 1980s version of me probably has a lot more in common with him like movies and music and stuff
and a lot of people from the future think stuff from the 50s is super lame right
and so ive spent years like agonizing
it's SUPER stupid liek i can admit it is stupid and he always is like no it's just you
but ive also like spent so LONG outside of my world that i dont even feel like the richie from the 1950s would recognize me?

i have no idea if im making sense here
point is the 70s and 80s have made me break out into hives because im like i cant compete with that!
which is stupid because they both are stupid eras with terrible fucking fashion
with like rampant homophobia everyoen in the future seems to like ignoring
but i do like the neverending story a lot
so i know it's not ALL bad and that theres a lot of cool stuff
like the disco stuff

we can be not husband material together
marriage is for straight people anyway

oh god

(Eddie audibly groans.)

i wonder if he complains about me.
he would have so much more to complain about
i honestly have no fucking idea how he dates me im insufferable have you met me

thats honestly probably a good idea

[Yeeeees. He'll take that at face value and assume he laughed out loud too. If only there was a word for that...oh well!]

that's wild. does that happen to people a lot???

[He has no idea what he would do if Min-Gi turned up but he was from like 30 years in the future but still the same age as him. Probably panic a little in the same way actually?]

but no I think I get it kinda
sort of
but 80s you is still you so like you've probably got the same taste right? if you learn about it then there's no competition because now you're Eddie with the cool 80s stuff AND the cool future music AND the cool 50s stuff
because there is definitely cool 50s stuff
Chuck Berry!! Little Richard!!! Man Buddy Holly was great too.
anyway you'll basically be a triple threat is what I'm saying

I will totally give you a crash course on what you need to know about the 70s and 80s. it'll be great I know all about what's cool and what's queer and what to avoid.
and like I haven't known you that long yet but I'm preeeetty confident I can pick out stuff you'll love easy
totally on it!!!

haha dude if he had THAT many complaints he wouldn't be dating you! you're fine
and you're not insufferable!
at least, I'm not suffering?

not too much but it's not uncommon either?
it's really complex like im talking we'd need an actual whiteboard or something for me to really explain everything and you'd have to be SUPER open minded
but if youre familiar with the term "multiverse" your probably already halfway to getitng it

i dont know about that. ive seen enough memories of my from the 80s where i dont really understand who the fuck i even am from that point
like
i literally watch richie almost die and just cower in a corner?
i'd never fucking do that
i literally say a bunch of weird gross 'your mom' and 'your sister' jokes? ive never once made a sex joke about a girl it's so weird
and im like way more of a caricature
honestly
you're right
the 80s me is a piece of shit
why SHOULD i feel inseucre

buddy holly
ugh
god
and CHUCK FUCKING BERRY right man? jesus you get it

thanks. id appreciate it
and i can keep showing you shit from the future

yeah. no. you're right
we've been best friends since we were like 8 he already knows the worst of my personality and has tolerated for years now
i can be really insufferable trust me
and a huge bitch
just giving you fair warning

are wormholes the other half?
cause I know an unexpected amount about those and they're kind of multiverse adjacent.

[He's only half joking about that, really.]

uhhh okay so that's
that's not EXACTLY what I said but

y'know what
never mind
whatever makes you feel better!!! he's with you now and not weird 80's you and you're definitely an upgrade :)

Buddy Holly is so good-looking. my sister's Buddy Holly records also went missing under mysterious circumstances
wow so weird she kept losing her stuff!! Maybe she should have kept a better eye on it!!!
if anyone's tried to get you into the beatles don't do it. you're just going to be pissed off about how much they took from Chuck Berry. no respect for the father of rock and roll!!! >:(

[HE COULD GO ON ABOUT IT FOR DAYS.]

sounds like a plan, man! 👍

that's how me and min-gi are
best friends since the day we were born - literally! we have the same birthday! our parents met in the hospital and everything!

is that supposed to scare me off???
because there's literally no way you're more insufferable than me.
it's a competition and I'm winning now sorry dude ;)

dude i dont even know where to begin it's like wormholes and nexuses and being aware you're from a book but also from a universe and knowing the god of your universe and killing another god and then like also being part of some bigger thing

it sounds fake basically

no it isnt exactly what you said but it's still true fuck that guy i hate him

(Eddie also had immeasurable self-loathing so he would cling to any excuse to hate himself in any universe. Though really fuck the 2019 Eddie Kaspbrak who did he think he was.)

BUDDY HOLLY IS SO GOOD LOOKING YOUR FUCKING A GODDAMN RIGHT
richie looks a lot like him and im always dying and sweaty
oh yeah
someone tried to get me to listen to the beatles and i was just like why should i give a shit about the 50th mediocre all male rock band singing about drugs and chicks and repeating the same one sentence for two minutes straight

i feel like theres an insufferable period of rock where its just a bunch of whtie dudes doing shit not white people have been doing for years and everyone being like "WOW WHY HAS NO ONE DONE THIS BEFORE"

thats amazing wow

your wink emojis are obnoxious
idk i can be really dangerous
and borderline psychotic
okay actually probably clinically but

you really do not seem insufferable ive been whining at you for the past hour

it does sound a little fake, but so do a lot of things
turning into squid, weird blood, and that's not even getting into stuff from where I came from.

definitely trippy as hell though. and apparently includes god murder?? guess that might as well be a thing!

[Really, he has about ten million follow-up questions but it's hard to make himself ask them when so many weird things are happening that it's all just a drop in the bucket. A brick in the wall, if you will.]

Min apparently looks a lot like Mako, if you know him. it's been exactly as awkward as it sounds!
I tried a Buddy Holly look for some of my solo shows and I DEFINITELY didn't pull it off as well as he did.
you're totally not wrong there is a LOT of mediocre stuff out there. the beatles are just the most mediocre. people act like they're god's gift to rock and it's like have you not been paying attention at ALL????
white people, man. ugh.

[Unsurprisingly, he has a LOT of feelings about this too.]

it's only been an hour. you haven't had a chance to see my full insufferable potential yet
I've got a miles-long list of character witnesses who would totally vouch for me being the worst.
the gold in the insufferability olympics is mine!!
actually know what what, scratch that. it's a crown. crowns are cooler than medals.
the insufferable crown is mine!!!!!

;) ;) ;)

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