un: klapbak | video

[klussy]

Surprise, bitch. I lived.

(Have Eddie, flipping the camera off with his right hand aka his prosthetic.

Eddie looks different than the last time most people had seen him. For starters, he has a green undertone to his skin. For another, his tongue is completely black. Behind him is an empty room with gray floorboards and peeling green walls. It at least looks clean. There's a Gucci suitcase on its side, opened up, with clothes spilling over and across the floor. Another Gucci suitcase sits next to it, but it has been partially charred.

A dog is passed out and snoring rather loudly in the opened suitcase.

Despite his on-point meme drop, Eddie's delivery is completely and suspiciously blank. His gray eyes are flat, and his expression remains completely empty.)

Richie's here too. (As if on-demand, a massive fireball blast out from the doorway of a nearby room followed by some crashing and yelling. Eddie doesn't even bother to glance over his shoulder.)

We're settling in okay. We're in Lumenwood. I've got some of my supplies from Deerington but I've got a shitton of stuff I need to restock.

(Which was going to be such a drag.)

But for those on a need-to-know basis, I've already made some important notes on this place. Not that any of you give a shit, but if you do...I guess we were given journals for a reason. I suck at journaling though. Here's a uh --- transcipt? Is that what it's called? Whatever, I typed it up.

(He shrugs. The screen goes blank only to be followed up by some text that Eddie clearly wrote up ahead of time:)



IMPORTANT TRENCH NOTES SHIT STUFF?
i dont know i dont normally do the note takin thing so feel grateful

1.)

our blood's fucking weird now but also no shit it's weird now is anyone surprised

give me your blood so i can figure it out. i studied hematology a LOT

last time i checked out my blood under a scope it was totally different than what it is now on a cellular level.

i actually tried to expose my blood to some bacteria and germs that would usually cause an infection and it was really weird? what look like my new white cells just immediately seemed to swallow up the bacteria and it was like it never existed at all

thats not to say you should run around and stab yourself with a rusty fork anytime soon

but it'd be cool if i could get more samples to see if this is just a Me thing or an Us thing

2.)

i spit on richie and we figured out that my spit can cause a numbing feeling. if you ever need to spit on you, let me know
it's probably gonna be useful if anyone gets injured
normally i would say don't let someone spit in your open wounds
but my spit is totally sanitary
i swear



(shut the hell up)

3.)

only 1/3rd of my closet made it here and no im not ready to talk about it. this place doesn't even have goddamn chanel

4.)

taylor swift still exists so we're gonna be okay

Comments

[klussy]

Oh. (Eddie looks like he just swallowed a lemon head.) No. I'm really like... Super not smart, dude.

(That's so embarrassing he's gonna DIE. But he seems silently flattered, his shoulders shrugging up by his ears. Boy compliments would be the end of him one day.

Eddie does smile though, with some affection, because listen, he roasted Richie regularly, but he would not change him for a million bucks.)

Okay, listen. If I tell you something you gotta promise to never tell anyone ever because I'll kill you in your sleep. I know so many ways to make it happen it's not even funny, but like.

(He scratches awkwardly at the back of his head and then, clearing his throat, confesses:)

I fucking love guys like you- like my boyfriend. I would never date a dude like me ever. I like being this way, but I fucking -- love guys who are ...uh. (...) Hopeless. It gives me this really intense infuriated feeling which mostly just means it like - y'know. Drives me fucking batty or whatever.

(He Hates This! But also it seemed like something that was worth saying to a guy who felt like he sucked because of it.)

I'll mock my boyfriend for the rest of my life because like, he's my best friend, I have to. But I steal his shirts all the fucking time, man. Like religiously. That's my actual favorite thing to wear and half of them are the stupidest shirts ever.

(He laughs at the question.)

Kix cereal. It was a Captain Midnight ring.

(Which makes him start to feel a little embarrassed again. It seemed childish now to walk around town with a hunky decorder ring on his pinky finger everywhere he went.)

Oh yeah. Honestly, if I never started the world-hopping thing....My small town woulda killed this part of me. My momma woulda killed this part of me. There'd be no chance. Small towns are...hell. (He didn't know too many people from other small towns who could even relate. It was sort of a relief, really, to hear Kyle understood.)

Yeah, I get it. In small towns, people just figure they know you better than you've ever known yourself. It's a weird feeling. Oh god. Dude.

(He rubs his hands over his face, groaning.)

The terms. I'm all on the fashion, but the terms I fucking suck at. It's so hard finding out anything about actual queer culture and there seem to be so many terms in the future. I'm like, dude, I just wanna comfortably fantasize about sucking dick in peace, can you please leave me alone and not ask me to recite the queer dictionary for you? I don't know it.

[kyley_b]

Fuck you, my little brother is a legit genius and I had a fucking 4.0 GPA, I know smart when I see it.

I promise.

[And now it's Kyle's turn to be hideously embarrassed, but also flattered. he goes pink.] I. Thanks.

Dude, that's what best friends are FOR. Holy shit, my best friend and I ripped on each other for everything. Him, now, dude, he's the sensitive one who writes poetry and he's straight as fuck. So I called him a pussy a LOT. He called me "disturbingly butch" once and not gonna lie but it felt sort of like a compliment?

And like, don't worry about the infuriating thing sounding weird. I get that. There's something incredibly satisfying about being irritated to the point of distraction.

[Kyle grins broadly.] Kix still exists. In case you were concerned. Dunno what Captain Midnight was, but it sounds kinda badass. Superhero type shit.

[Eddie gets it. And his mama? Oh, man.] I was so fucking scared of my mom thinking anything was wrong with me, dude. I put off any talk of like... sex stuff for years and years. And she's not BAD, she just has... particular ideas of how shit should go down, you know? Wants the best for her kids. So.

But yeah, man. Small towns. I miss parts of it, but mostly they do kinda suck.

[Thank god, Eddie understands what he's getting at.] Thank you! I mean, at least you're from the fifties, you have an excuse. I have twitter, I'm not ALLOWED to fuck this stuff up. I just like whoever I like and I don't want a lecture about what that makes me.

cw: dysmorphia

[klussy]

Dude I never even finished middle school.

(He's completely green now. THANKS KYLE.

Just two bros blushing at each other. He's grateful for the subject devolving into how absurd relationships with best friends actually were.)

I'm definitely the sensitive one, but I don't write poetry. (He didn't have an artistic bone in him beyond his ability to put together outfits and know which colors flowed well.) Yeah, actually, you are kinda butch. My sister and stand-in mom were too. Butch people are the fucking best.

(Eddie takes a deep breath and then:) You have no idea. He was such a badass. He wasn't a superhero, but he was even better. He was like this super badass secret agent pilot dude from World War I. He did all this cool espionage shit and flew planes.

(People from the future didn't usually seem too charmed by that kind of content anymore, but Eddie thought it was amazing. It helped that Richard Webb was a total DILF.

But, oh, shit.

His face smoothes into a completely different expression, something raw spilling into his eyes.)

Yeah- no I uh. I get that. She was always telling me I was sick and she hated queer dudes. If she had ever found out...Man, I used to think that I could get syphilis from breathing the wrong air around the wrong person. I always thought my dick would shrivel off the moment I acknowledged it existing in ways that didn't have to do with pissing.

(Lol you ever just have a crippling body dysmorphia!)

Nah, people can fuck off, dude. It's shitty to expect everyone to have the exact same degree of education on that stuff. It's complex and it seems like it's always changing in the future. It'd be confusing for anyone.

cw: dysmorphia

[kyley_b]

Whatever, I can still see it.

[Kyle's pretty good with a haiku, but sensitivity? No, that was always Stan's thing.] As butch as someone whose free time is spent in a library CAN be, anyway. Are your sister and stand-in mom here, too?

Ohhh, like spy shit! Dude, that's pretty fucking sweet. Sometimes I feel like superheroes are kinda overdone, you know? Like, wow you can run faster than the speed of light, how are we supposed to get drama out of that?

[That? That's a look of understanding.] Oh, shit dude, I'm sorry. My mom didn't HATE us, just... I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to get married and give her grandchildren.

I was sick a lot as a kid, so I get that. I, uh. Would get really freaked out by things, sometimes, stuff nobody else cared about. Like when I found out microorganisms live in your body I flipped my shit. I'm lucky enough not to have hated my dick, but I can understand how it could happen. I hope you feel a little less awful about it now.

[Kyle's okay with his dick. It's everything else that he hates.]

Thanks. You're being way too nice, but I appreciate it.