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Video UN: glyphywitchy

[Luca and Ahiru of the house might have noticed Luz was gone all day, as were Varian, Rapunzel and Fern, and there were none the wiser about why. The three of them honestly tended to do their own thing, but this time was different. Luz returned later, closing the door behind her, and had stayed up in her room for several hours. Luca and Ahiru were likely to feel the distress in Luz now though, and while Ahiru wouldn't know why, Luca WOULD.

And now, Luz knew, she'd have to let the rest of Trench know.

-

[Late at night, the video feed clicked and there was Luz. Her eyes were rimmed red, she was slightly shaking and she was surrounded by the stuffed animals in her room. She looked at the camera for at least a minute before finally addressing the audience as a whole].

If you guys knew Rapunzel, I'm sad to say she's gone back to being a squid. She was pretty great, looking after us in the house and everything, and we're going to try and keep her tower spotless. She would have wanted it that way.

[She bit her lip, exhaling].

V-Varian and Fern are also gone.

They've...gone back too. I know a lot of you knew them from Deerington. In a lot of ways, they're why I chose to go to move onto the next world. Fern was cunning, quick and upfront about himself. He put himself out on a limb to save people, and was the model of a hero I think we all strive to be.

Varian was different, but in his own unique way. He was stubborn, smart, and one of the sweetest people I know. He'd come up with inventions I could only watch in awe of, and he'd work tirelessly on projects with strength I could never match. He and Fern were my older brothers, and the reason I live in this house now.

They mattered, just like everyone who leaves matters, and leave a mark when they go. If I ever ask myself why I'm here, suffering, I'll remember it's because of them, because they were everything that helped me move on from one bad moment to better ones.

Thank you. Um. Take care, guys, wherever you are.

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[Luz wouldn't have wanted to hear anyone give her a sermon or some silly explanation on how maybe it was a good thing that her brothers were gone. She cared a lot about them and every moment without them just deepened the depression she was already feeling. It just felt eerie and lonelier in the house now].

Oh, well. That depends on where you want to stay. Rapunzel's room is on the second floor, across from the booby-trapped bathroom. You could also stay on the third floor, because that was Cassandra's spare room, and that bathroom is fine. Both rooms are on the right from the staircase up. So you know, I'm at the very top of the house.

[She sounded a little hollow, but did hug back. Luz needed all the hugs].

Yes, I know. I'm still sorry about that, you know. It must have been pretty awful, that whole night.

[it was never a good thing when someone who was loved was gone. no matter what the pastors had to say about "a better place." what if the better place was in fact there with the ones who loved them? at least that was her thinking on the subject, first after she lost her father and then, Jack. very much so with Jack]

I'll take the the third floor. It seems easiest that way. And you must have a beautiful view of the district. [ugh. there went a platitude. but it can be hard to know what to say in the face of grief. everyone handled it in their own way. she'd overheard countless people asking, then pleading, then begging the stewards on the Carpathia that maybe their loved ones were on another ship, even though the Carpathia had been the only one to respond.

then she'll get all of the hugs]

It's all right now, that's the important part. Right now, I don't want to focus on me.

[Luz wasn't one for hearing about places she didn't know about that she couldn't see with her own eyes. That was what made the whole concept of astral projection still so strange to her. Luz was very tactile, and the idea of traversing a place she couldn't see was very difficult].

Cassandra's spare room it is. [Luz did sound a little happy there, because it at least meant that Rose was closer to her]. Oh Rose, Rose, no. If you want a spectacular view of the district? You have to room in the TOWER.

[Yep, there is the tower attached to their home, and it is majestic. Truly they a very interesting home, which were at least half full of nerds].

I don't...I know I can't dwell on it long, like, an anchor. That's practically inviting corruption. At the same time, all I can do is walk around here and see their selves IN the house. They personalized it, it's part of what I love every time I came home.

And I just feel...so sad. I miss them so much already.

[and Rose's faith in God had been badly shaken by what happened on the Titanic. and after. on the one side, she'd like to believe in Heaven, that when she dies she'll be reunited with Jack there, but on the other side? the descriptions of Heaven always seemed so terribly dull. singing songs to praise God for centuries on centuries? that seemed more than a little iffy, even when she was a girl]

All right, thank you. [and she did sound a little, but Rose thought that calling attention to it would somehow ruin it] Ah, so that's what I saw sort of jutting away from the house itself. Is it safe to go in so we can see the view?

[and maybe serve as a little bitty little distraction? maybe?

Rose feels heartbroken on Luz's behalf]

I...honestly can't imagine what that must be like. To live in a reminder of those you love. [she squeezes again and sighs softly] I'm not going to say anything stupid like that it can remind you of them. You're already reminded of them by their lack of presence. And I didn't know them, but...do you know if they'd want you and your friends to keep everything as they had it?

There's no due date for feelings. No set time for grief. It happens...as it happens. Often with no rhyme or reason behind it. It's dangerous to feel that way because of corruption, true, but maybe that danger would be lessened a bit by talking about it instead of bottling it all up inside?

[and she feels more than a bit like a hypocrite in this case since she's barely let herself talk about Jack and the Titanic and she knows she should take her own advice, but she doesn't know how. grief in 1912 and grief in the 21st century had entirely different sets of protocol]

[Luz was taught to be Catholic of course, but truthfully, she'd never been terribly fond of what was embedded in those teachings. They shunned the occult and did not have warm feeling toward homosexuality, both issues which involved Luz quite a bit. Besides, with all that she'd seen Luz found that she concentrated more on people and their kindness towards others than expecting it from a source that told them it was needed to make them good people].

Oh sure, of course! That place is amazing as a book nook!

[Distraction level achieved]!

I'm keeping it like it was. It was theirs, first and foremost, before it was anyone else's in this house. It's because of them we got to live here. I couldn't even imagine changing what it looks like.

[Oh it hurt, their reminder was everywhere, but changing it? That seemed unthinkable, wrong. She wanted to at least have that, right down to Fern's garden].

We can, sure, but its a long, winding tunnel. We went through a lot in just a small amount of time before living together, and then in Trench it was...wonderful. There were rough spots, but it was mostly just what I needed. Before living there, I lived with my mentor and a sister I made in that world. When they both left, I didn't think I'd ever get over that. With Varian and Fern, I was starting to finally feel like I could let some of that go.

[And well. Here she was again. Someone going away from her life. Before Eda and Margot, it was getting stuck in the Isles without her mom, and before that? Losing her dad when she was young].

[Protestantism wasn't any better, at least not in 1912. she'd be willing to bet it wouldn't get much better in the future, either, so maybe the answers weren't in organized religion. and she'd talk to Jesus, but yell at God. he deserved it, after everything. mother would have been scandalized by both notions, but her mother couldn't control a damned thing about her anymore and so much the better for it!]

I love those! Quiet places to curl up in with a good book are always worthwhile.

[hooray!]

I understand, as much as I can. Memories can be terrible, but taking them apart can be even more so. [and Luz's words about loss, recovery, and loss again nearly made her weep] If...if it's not terribly presumptuous? May I say something?

[that she already saw Luz as the sister she'd wanted, but never had. though, Rose knew that wouldn't necessarily make her feel any better. but she didn't want to deaden those memories of other found family, but add to it if she could]

[Luz was very hopefully agnostic, though she was more inclined to hope that people would be good enough to look out for each other themselves. It was a notion that she had carried anywhere she went, and usually? She could find the goodness in people even if it was hard to do so at times].

If you don't mind the altitude, or the long climb, trust me, it's worth it.

[Even at this low point, Luz couldn't deny solace and reading to someone].

I agree. I wouldn't give up my memories with them for anything, even if it does hurt.

[More than anything, she would have liked one last hug from Varian right now].

Yes, go right ahead.

[a sensible choice, if maybe a little optimistic that others could be counted on. the last half hour on the Titanic had been endless chaos (with the exception of the reverend with a flock made up of everyone from First Class men to Steerage women and abandoned staff of the White Star Line. hmm). and once she was finally in the water, someone had tried to use her as a buoy, nearly drowning her in the process]

I mind neither. I'm strong and I can handle it. What should we read?

[because she intends to read aloud to Luz in hopes that it lulls her to sleep for at least a little while]

As I wouldn't give up my memories with Jack. Even though they do hurt.

[another squeeze]

...I think of you as family. A sister. One I'll fight to protect and love without reservation.

[It was pretty much all she could do, right now, count on others. So far, it was helping more than she expected].

Then I should totally take you up there. It's super great! I'm gonna miss seeing Rapunzel up there.

[Or watching Fren and Varian from up there too].

Oh, um. Whatever you'd like. I'm partial to Alice in Wonderland though.

[Luz wouldn't have expected any less of Rose. Of course she wanted to think of her beloved].

Oh? Really? Thank you. That means a lot. Really, it does.

[she'd been told that counting on others had as many drawbacks as counting on oneself alone. but even those she'd lost like Jack, she still counted on. so she couldn't see the harm in continuing to count on those lost, even if it was one's own desire to be received kindly by fate]

Yes, you should. And I look forward to it, even though it seems I won't be able to meet her myself.

[loss was terrible. to lose so many, all at once? nightmarish]

I like that one, too. Both books, then?

[Jack was like the North Star. to be relied upon and accepted as a matter of course]

I'm glad. I...well, I always wanted a sister.

[Luz had it proven to her, time and again, that relying on people was honestly a good idea, and had worked out for the better almost every time].

It was her tower before any of ours really. At least she got to use it for a little bit before she left.

[Not that she thought it was much of a consolation].

Yes, please. I like them both.

[She hated when people acted like "Through the Looking Glass" didn't exist].

As an only child, I can tell you I agree.

[she'd suspected such, but mother had insisted that Rose keep her emotional distance from most people. though, mother never seemed happy. Rose would rather be happy]

That's good, at least...her home world. Is it nice?

[she hopes so. someone's home world has to be nice. right? wasn't that so?]

Good, so do I. So...let's make our way up there?

[Rose hated it, too! but she was pleased that both books were still remembered in the future]

Well, then...sisters?

[Luz knew her own mother, and even Eda, would have wanted to spare her these feelings, but what could you do? Luz loved with her whole heart].

Kind of. It's got its own share of troubles too. It seems like Rapunzel is sort of the "Luz" of her kingdom though.

[She was a princess, which helped matters somewhat].

Sure. I'll fly us up there, since that's easier anyway.

[She chuckled].

Ok, sister Rose. Just hop onto my staff, and up we'll go!

[that's the only way to love, in Rose's experience. wholeheartedly or not at all]

The terribly talented and at times underrated queen of her own kingdom?

[so? Luz should be a princess, too]

Oooh! I must admit, that sounds like fun.

[and she sits side-saddle on the staff, even though she's wearing jeans and a thick sweater, but old habits died hard]

[Luz would take her word for it. She was still only pining, and not for anyone in Trench].

Rapunzel? Oh no, I wouldn't call her underrated, but she's not queen yet! Her parents are both very much alive!

[Luz would have laughed at the idea. Her, a princess? No one would buy that]!

It's more fun if we were doing more than just going up, but don't worry. We'll probably have a mission where I use the staff more, just you wait!

[Thank you SO much for the distracting banter, Rose. Luz needs that].

[she knows the feeling. it's both easier that way since she wouldn't want Jack to have to go through anything like the mushrooms, and harder because she'd still give just about anything for him to join her

That's good. I'd imagine that ruling an entire country would be exhausting. "Heavy lies the head," and so on.

[why not a princess?]

Then I'll look forward to that. And a mission! That sounds very serious. Are you sure I'm up to it?

[it's the absolute least she can do. other than pick up two roast salmon]

[That was the sad way the two were situated, and so far, there wouldn't be much in the way of expelling some of that longing].

She had a lot to worry about besides just that, I hear. But I guess she's gone now, so I'd just be able to recount what Varian told me about her.

[She had SO many troubles in that kingdom, apparently].

It'll depend on what happens, I guess. Of course, the best thing would be if I didn't have to use the staff, but I think we both know that's not going to happen anytime soon.

[the worse thing than sexual tension is unresolved sexual tension]

Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to be giving away any secrets.

[because God knew Rose had secrets, ones she still wasn't all that sure about sharing with the public]

Yes, this place does love its trials by fire. I approach each new month with a vague sense of dread, fearing what may be sent to us.

[She'd take her word for it].

They were more for the two of them anyway.

[Just thinking about Varian telling stories while she was listened attentively hurt to think about, because now he'd never be around to tell them again].

Sometimes it isn't even horrible, it's just unexpected. It only seems unfair most of the time.

[it's true, she's read it in countless novels her mother wouldn't have approved of]

Then, if you'd like to talk I'm more than willing to listen.

[all she could think about was Jack and the stories he'd tell of growing up in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. he made growing up poor on a failing farm seem...not appealing exactly, but interesting nonetheless]

I can't dispute that. From what I do know, at least. There are times when I'm painfully aware of how new I am.

[Likewise, Luz had access to fanfiction. She'd stumble on that stuff every once and awhile, but mostly kept to her lane. After all, between being young and then being thrown into Deerington, Luz had never had time to even have anything gentle and warm like that.

It sounded nice].

Oh, she had a lot of interesting adventures, and actual Rapunzel was pretty cool herself. I think she had a soft spot for her friend too, Cassandra. She had a heck of a lot going on though, definitely on the prickly side.

[Not that Luz couldn't see the attraction, but woof. There were definitely some issues and backstory there].

You're learning fast Rose, give yourself credit! Honestly, I'm really envious of how quick you're catching on. I was lucky enough to have Eda when I first arrived, but you came here with no one. That's still pretty heroic and strong!

[best Rose never find out about fanfic, otherwise she'd spend entire days holed up in her cottage, reading things which set "Little Women" to rights, Jo and Laurie together as they should have been. but that's something they had in common. Rose had little gentleness or warmth in her life, too.

so she wanted to provide it for others]

I remember the fairy story of Rapunzel, but it seems as though that was only the beginning of her adventures.

[and Rose wonders what it would be like to be interested in another girl and be open about it. unthinkable by her standards]

Really? [she blushes brightly] I don't want to give myself too much credit. But I am doing well enough, all things considered? Though, I'd hesitate to label myself as a hero.

[Luz has been there, in the fanfic hole, reading how some stories should have been. Authors tended to show things as they could be, and fanfic writers showed even MORE possibilities, in her opinion.

Additionally, Luz did like that aspect about Rose quite a lot].

Trust me, I'm pretty sure that what you and I knew about Rapunzel is very different from Varian's!

[She didn't get pregnant, for one thing!

Luz knew very well what that was like, as she like both sexes, though the idea of every dating anyone seemed to be further and further away].

I think we're all sort of heroes in our own way, but I will totally give you all the credit you deserve. You've dealt with all of this pretty well.

[she'd heard enough of literary theory to believe that what a person brought into a work of fiction could be as important as what the author intended. so Jo/Laurie 4-ever.

she tried to learn from her mistakes, at least]

Do tell! The original story was interesting, but there was so much room for more.

[especially without the pregnancy part. it honestly made her wonder what the original authors had intended.

nonsense, someone would realize what a treasure Luz was. even if she had to had to advertise for a special someone herself]

Well, I--I had no reason to expect to leave. I'd rather adapt and do well than fail to and constantly struggle.

[Luz certainly wasn't going to argue with that! After all, what was fanfiction other than a place for like minded people to read the kind of ending that they would have liked had the author not let them down]?

Oh man. To start, there IS a witch, but apparently her whole thing is staying young, and she needs this flower. I think Varian called it the 'sundrop?' Anyway, one day the queen is sick and needs aid, so...

[Luz geos on about the story, momentarily forgetting about her troubles. Also, poor Luz was still in the dark about what she could bring in a romantic relationship. It would have helped to have something even remotely like that].

See, that's a sad but logical way to go about it. That isn't an easy thing for everyone.

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This icon look was directed at Luz's beloved!

D'awww, Luz deserves all the girlfriends!

Luz: I am so alonnne.