video; un: quibbler

[creidim]

[ Luna Lovegood is perhaps the best she's looked in months. Despite the exhausted look about her, and the expression of queasiness — she's void of any trace of Corruption. She's been spending the past several days sleeping, and not sleeping; trying to calm her stomach from the copious amounts of wild animals she'd devoured as a beast. While sustenance for her in Beastform, her stomach now she's human again is... far more delicate. But the worst of it has passed, at least. And Peter has been a blessing for her, making sure she's alright — even if eating has been a little bit of a struggle.

She sits in her room, sat on her bed with her knees curled up to her chest, still dressed in pyjamas. Her Omni rests on her bedside as she begins the broadcast. She's anxious; her brow drawn down in a sorrowful frown. It's important, though. People deserve apologies, even she deserves no luxury of apology in return. She hurt people, quite a lot — and while the memories of the latter half of April are foggy at best, she knows she's done some terrible things. ]

I realise a great deal of people may be very upset with me right now. I would have done this sooner, but I... needed a little bit of time to sort out my mind. [ She's still trying to do that, but it's now or never. ]

I remember the butterflies, and then... it gets a bit mixed up after that. [ It was like... falling down a very, very deep hole. Slowly slipping away from herself, and into something cold and dark and twisted. ]

I'm sorry. I know I hurt a lot of people, I know I— I think I killed people, too. I know I wasn't myself, I became someone terrible and then something terrible. A monstrous Beast. [ It hurts to refer herself as that. No beast is monstrous. But she did monstrous things. That is... simply how it is, and she's ashamed of herself. ] I know people might think it isn't my fault, that I became a Beast — but I still did those things. I barely even know who I did them to, I don't remember much.

But I'm very sorry.

[ She doesn't expect forgiveness, not at all. She's alright with that. Luna's quiet for a long tome, just leaving the apology there. But after a while, she inhales and continues. ]

I was lucky. My friends found me, my boyfriend found me. They brought me back. They knew who I was even though I was a Beast. I can only guess others haven't and won't be so fortunate. [ How many times have Sleepers been killed as Beasts? How many will be in future? ]

I've been doing some thinking, the past couple of days. How to... maybe help Sleepers, somehow. Back home, someone very important to me, a hero to me really, led the way in the study of magical beasts — he's one of the greatest Magizoologists known to Wizardkind. He offered a great deal of insight into beast behaviours, abilities and how best to care for them — compiled it into a textbook.

I'd... like to start doing something like that, but for Sleepers in their Beastforms. I want to do it as my area of study at the School of Mutter. An encyclopaedia of Sleepers' forms of Beasthood, noting their appearance, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. But also how best to help them, calm them down. Bring them back.

[ She doesn't want it to mean it's how to kill them. No, no. Not at all. It's how best to help Sleepers, so they don't have to be killed. But also knowing how best to deal with them, so other Sleepers don't end up getting killed when dealing with Beasts. Merlin knows how many Witches and Wizards were likely killed by magical creatures they had no clue on how to handle them. Wild animals are just that, they can kill. ]

I could have very easily met death at the hands of a Hunter, but I was lucky I didn't. Knowledge is a very powerful tool, and I believe it could do a great deal of good. [ That being said: ] If people have information they'd like to share about their Beastforms, or how they've dealt with bringing Sleepers back — I would like to hear it for my research.

If you'd rather speak in person, you may find me at Ritual Gig in Willful Machine. [ There's a little pause, her voice wobbling slightly. ] You... may have known it as John Constantine's shop, but moving forward I shall be taking up the reins in his absence.

Comments

2/2 → [action]

[obeir]

[ It'll be a few hours before K makes his way to the shop — time enough to finish the stew and collect some freshly baked dinner rolls from one of the local bakeries. With a soup thermos and covered basket of rolls in hand, he announces his presence at the shop with a courtesy knock before letting himself in.

Trench has not been an easy time for any of them, it seems. But outwardly, K remains virtually unchanged since Deerington — he doesn't age, and his healing is such that even scars eventually vanish. He still wears his customary long coat with the high collar, and the same style of attire he'd favoured as a teacher: a nice dress shirt, waistcoat, and slacks.

Of course, by now he has seen the Peter-to-Paimon public network reveal, threatening Johnny Lawrence. It was... concerning, to say the least. The way it appeared to be a loss of control, not a deliberate choice as far as he could tell. And Lawrence only seems to know how to escalate things until he's killed for it. The whole thing's a mess. And it's why K can't keep the worry from his tone when he calls out: ] Luna—? Are you here?

[creidim]

[ It's... been a busy few hours. It was one thing for people to start chiming in over Johnny Lawrence's comments towards her, which in all honest she didn't know what to do about that. But Peter stepping in, and then Paimon's outburst, was something she really did need to do something about — mentally conversing with both Peter and then Paimon, trying to get to them stand down.

The shop honestly provides some welcome distraction for the whole mess of the network broadcast. She's... admittedly a little stressed over the whole thing. So busying herself here is very much all she's been up to, taking stock considering she's barely been here since the start of April. ]

K—? [ And while she's void of any signs of corruption, she's a little strained behind the eyes as she hurries down from up above down the spiral staircase that connects two floors. ]

... Well, it's quite nice to see a friendly face, considering— [ She gestures vaguely. ] all of that.

[obeir]

[ All of that, indeed. What a mess. K's expression is sympathetic when he turns to watch Luna coming down the stairs. ]

I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. Some are trying to make themselves feel better about their own mistakes at your expense, I'd say. [ Not naming names because it's unnecessary. ] I hope you don't take it to heart.

[ And it really goes without saying, but he wants to say it anyway because he suspects Luna could really stand to be reminded right about now: ] It took courage, putting yourself out there like that. Trying to make amends for things that weren't your fault.

[ How could they be her fault? It isn't as though Luna would ever consciously choose to commit such atrocious acts. Beasthood is one of the aspects of life in Trench that really isn't within their control, that much has been made painfully clear over the last year. Which is why Luna being willing to take responsibility for her actions as a Beast really speaks to her character — and K is proud of her.

Holding up the thermos and covered basket, he adds: ] By the way, I brought you some food that'll hopefully be easy on your stomach.

[creidim]

... To be honest, they had every right to be like that. [ Her expression is drawn, a quiet kind of resignation. She has... tried to face that anger and unkindness with as much grace as she can, and even as much as it was hurtful — she's deserving of it. ] I... killed people, K. And they have to live with that, too.

[ The dead don't stay dead, here. Not Sleepers, in any case. The natives at least have some semblance of peace in whatever afterlife there is, Sleepers must return and live with that particular horror. Luna understands the weight of that.

But she does manage a small smile at his words, grateful for them. It.. was brave, to put herself in the firing line — knowing fine well she'd face a great of heat with it. Even if she knows it wasn't really her fault. ]

To stand and say nothing would be a great insult. I knew I'd done wrong, even if I wouldn't ever mean such things. It's important to say something, for people to know I'm sorry.

[ The appearance of food makes her pause, eyes widening in pleasant surprise. ]

That's very kind of you. [ There's a little wince, but she manages a little wry smile. ] ... It's... not got any meat in it, has it? Otherwise I may have to offer it to Peter instead.

[ He definitely won't see it go to waste, Peter's stomach knows no bottom. ]

[obeir]

Everyone's entitled to their feelings. [ K acknowledges this with a slight nod, and there's something gentler in his tone when he continues. ] Them and you. But it isn't as though you retained your faculties and free will during Beasthood and chose to do any of that.

[ And those acting like she did have a choice are rubbing him entirely the wrong way. It also strikes a very personal chord in him, one that he's spent years coming to terms with — being ordered to kill his own kind. And being unable to disobey because his very programming prevented it. His past has never been a secret, but he has rarely gone into particular detail about it with the kids of Deerington and Trench, and he isn't sure that now is the time to. But maybe he can at least help Luna feel less alone. ]

I know what it is to lack free will. And do... terrible things. I had no more choice than you did, but most treated me as though I chose to be a slave. Our situations aren't identical, but — I still don't think you deserve such harsh treatment. [ He punctuates this with a grim smile, moving to set the thermos and basket on the counter. ]

Oh, no, it's fully vegetarian. And enough to share with Peter, of course. I hope it agrees with you. [ Though in hindsight perhaps he should have made more, at least enough for a few meals. Well. It isn't too late for that, he realises, offering: ] How about I bring both of you meals for a few days? So neither of you have to worry about cooking while you're recovering. I want to help.

[ In a strange way, it feels like they've come full circle. All that time ago, at Ben and Will's home, he'd helped with the cooking for the houseful of people he'd felt a familial connection with... Luna and Peter are among the last remaining of their little family. And now with John gone in addition to all the other losses, it only makes K want to take care of them even more. ]