video; un: quibbler

[creidim]

[ Luna Lovegood is perhaps the best she's looked in months. Despite the exhausted look about her, and the expression of queasiness — she's void of any trace of Corruption. She's been spending the past several days sleeping, and not sleeping; trying to calm her stomach from the copious amounts of wild animals she'd devoured as a beast. While sustenance for her in Beastform, her stomach now she's human again is... far more delicate. But the worst of it has passed, at least. And Peter has been a blessing for her, making sure she's alright — even if eating has been a little bit of a struggle.

She sits in her room, sat on her bed with her knees curled up to her chest, still dressed in pyjamas. Her Omni rests on her bedside as she begins the broadcast. She's anxious; her brow drawn down in a sorrowful frown. It's important, though. People deserve apologies, even she deserves no luxury of apology in return. She hurt people, quite a lot — and while the memories of the latter half of April are foggy at best, she knows she's done some terrible things. ]

I realise a great deal of people may be very upset with me right now. I would have done this sooner, but I... needed a little bit of time to sort out my mind. [ She's still trying to do that, but it's now or never. ]

I remember the butterflies, and then... it gets a bit mixed up after that. [ It was like... falling down a very, very deep hole. Slowly slipping away from herself, and into something cold and dark and twisted. ]

I'm sorry. I know I hurt a lot of people, I know I— I think I killed people, too. I know I wasn't myself, I became someone terrible and then something terrible. A monstrous Beast. [ It hurts to refer herself as that. No beast is monstrous. But she did monstrous things. That is... simply how it is, and she's ashamed of herself. ] I know people might think it isn't my fault, that I became a Beast — but I still did those things. I barely even know who I did them to, I don't remember much.

But I'm very sorry.

[ She doesn't expect forgiveness, not at all. She's alright with that. Luna's quiet for a long tome, just leaving the apology there. But after a while, she inhales and continues. ]

I was lucky. My friends found me, my boyfriend found me. They brought me back. They knew who I was even though I was a Beast. I can only guess others haven't and won't be so fortunate. [ How many times have Sleepers been killed as Beasts? How many will be in future? ]

I've been doing some thinking, the past couple of days. How to... maybe help Sleepers, somehow. Back home, someone very important to me, a hero to me really, led the way in the study of magical beasts — he's one of the greatest Magizoologists known to Wizardkind. He offered a great deal of insight into beast behaviours, abilities and how best to care for them — compiled it into a textbook.

I'd... like to start doing something like that, but for Sleepers in their Beastforms. I want to do it as my area of study at the School of Mutter. An encyclopaedia of Sleepers' forms of Beasthood, noting their appearance, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. But also how best to help them, calm them down. Bring them back.

[ She doesn't want it to mean it's how to kill them. No, no. Not at all. It's how best to help Sleepers, so they don't have to be killed. But also knowing how best to deal with them, so other Sleepers don't end up getting killed when dealing with Beasts. Merlin knows how many Witches and Wizards were likely killed by magical creatures they had no clue on how to handle them. Wild animals are just that, they can kill. ]

I could have very easily met death at the hands of a Hunter, but I was lucky I didn't. Knowledge is a very powerful tool, and I believe it could do a great deal of good. [ That being said: ] If people have information they'd like to share about their Beastforms, or how they've dealt with bringing Sleepers back — I would like to hear it for my research.

If you'd rather speak in person, you may find me at Ritual Gig in Willful Machine. [ There's a little pause, her voice wobbling slightly. ] You... may have known it as John Constantine's shop, but moving forward I shall be taking up the reins in his absence.

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video; private from here on out

[creidim]

[ She's largely come out unscathed. There's a definitely ache to her, but she's been lucky it was the Beast who took the brunt of it, and had enough time to heal before she changed back. ]

... I don't really remember much, but I know enough that people have been hurt by me. I just... I needed to let people know I was sorry for what I'd done. [ She shakes her head. ] No, it's alright. I definitely do deserve it.

[ Getting called awful names is the least she can take for killing a man. ]

I'm alright, I think. My Corruption's gone, at least. [ There's a pause. Willow deserves the entire truth. ] But sleeping is... quite problematic. Eating, too. I don't think I ate... people. But I think I ate a lot of animals and it's— well, I'll spare you the more graphic details but eating's not really in my list of favourite things right now.

[ She's... kind of sticking to water and herbal teas, at the moment. ]

[frogfear]

[Willow makes a face. No graphic description needed, she can imagine exactly how Luna must be feeling after feasting on who knows how many animals in Trench.]

It sounds like it might be better you don't exactly remember everything all that well.

I get it - the importance of trying to apologize. And yeah, some people are going to be mad about it, but it's a little different when you're not in your right head.

[The sleeplessness she can particularly commiserate with. She very rarely ever slept well before chasing after a cure for Wolfwalking, and now she still wakes up feeling like she's never even been to bed.]

I'm sure there's some stuff at the shop that will help with the insomnia, and the stomach problems too. I can drop it by, if you want?

[creidim]

At this point, I'm not quite sure what's better. Part of me thinks it might have been better to remember it all so I could at least reach out on a more private level rather than... all of this. You know?

[ Considering how well of of this has gone down.... ]

I've got some sleeping potions, at least. I was... trying not to resort to them considering they're quite important during the months when none of us can get any sleep. [ There's a soft groan, and she rubs at her face. She really just ought to use them. There's not need to martyr herself. ]

But something for my stomach would be very much appreciated, though. Thank you.

[frogfear]

Yeah, it's, uh, kind of pros and cons either way kind of situation, huh? I know it's probably not much consolation, but you're not the first person who's ever done anything here - or even in Deerington - that they regret because something else was influencing you. Most people are hopefully going to be understanding.

[Ford had forgiven her far easier than she thought she deserved too.]

Hm. Sleeping potions are important during the times where we can't get any sleep, yeah. You know. Like now. And you should be looking after yourself when you're trying to recover. But I'll be by in a bit with some supplies. Just hang in there, huh?

[creidim]

I suppose that's very true, yes. People have... generally been quite sympathetic. The others...? Well— [ Let's... not talk about the very angry karate man. It's best if he were avoided completely, at least until his anger has subsided.

She exhales softly, deflating a bit. Willow has a point. Alright, yes. ]

Alright. I know. I'll use the sleeping potions. [ There's a weak smile. ] Thank you, Willow.

... Has the shop been alright with me, by the way? Is... the man called Mr Wrench still there? Because I told him he was to stay, he's living in the back.

[frogfear]

The shop is fine, don't worry. I've been keeping an eye on things. I haven't run into Wrench yet, but I'm guessing he's still there. I haven't seen anything to suggest he's not, anyway.

[No notes left behind that she's discovered, no signs of anything missing or anything, so she assumes nothing has changed and Wrench is still there.]

I'll keep things under control there until you have a chance to recover. Just get yourself feeling okay again first, okay?

[creidim]

I think he mostly keeps to himself, but I did have to insist he stayed after John left. You might need to add to the reassurance that he's allowed to stay.

[ Luna told him very clearly that John had said he could stay, so Luna had insisted upon it too. ]

Okay. Thank you, Willow.

[frogfear]

I'll let him know if I run into him, then.

[Of course she's going to help Luna honour John's wishes. If he wanted Wrench to stay living in the back of the shop, she would absolutely encourage him to do so.]