video; un: quibbler

[creidim]

[ Luna Lovegood is perhaps the best she's looked in months. Despite the exhausted look about her, and the expression of queasiness — she's void of any trace of Corruption. She's been spending the past several days sleeping, and not sleeping; trying to calm her stomach from the copious amounts of wild animals she'd devoured as a beast. While sustenance for her in Beastform, her stomach now she's human again is... far more delicate. But the worst of it has passed, at least. And Peter has been a blessing for her, making sure she's alright — even if eating has been a little bit of a struggle.

She sits in her room, sat on her bed with her knees curled up to her chest, still dressed in pyjamas. Her Omni rests on her bedside as she begins the broadcast. She's anxious; her brow drawn down in a sorrowful frown. It's important, though. People deserve apologies, even she deserves no luxury of apology in return. She hurt people, quite a lot — and while the memories of the latter half of April are foggy at best, she knows she's done some terrible things. ]

I realise a great deal of people may be very upset with me right now. I would have done this sooner, but I... needed a little bit of time to sort out my mind. [ She's still trying to do that, but it's now or never. ]

I remember the butterflies, and then... it gets a bit mixed up after that. [ It was like... falling down a very, very deep hole. Slowly slipping away from herself, and into something cold and dark and twisted. ]

I'm sorry. I know I hurt a lot of people, I know I— I think I killed people, too. I know I wasn't myself, I became someone terrible and then something terrible. A monstrous Beast. [ It hurts to refer herself as that. No beast is monstrous. But she did monstrous things. That is... simply how it is, and she's ashamed of herself. ] I know people might think it isn't my fault, that I became a Beast — but I still did those things. I barely even know who I did them to, I don't remember much.

But I'm very sorry.

[ She doesn't expect forgiveness, not at all. She's alright with that. Luna's quiet for a long tome, just leaving the apology there. But after a while, she inhales and continues. ]

I was lucky. My friends found me, my boyfriend found me. They brought me back. They knew who I was even though I was a Beast. I can only guess others haven't and won't be so fortunate. [ How many times have Sleepers been killed as Beasts? How many will be in future? ]

I've been doing some thinking, the past couple of days. How to... maybe help Sleepers, somehow. Back home, someone very important to me, a hero to me really, led the way in the study of magical beasts — he's one of the greatest Magizoologists known to Wizardkind. He offered a great deal of insight into beast behaviours, abilities and how best to care for them — compiled it into a textbook.

I'd... like to start doing something like that, but for Sleepers in their Beastforms. I want to do it as my area of study at the School of Mutter. An encyclopaedia of Sleepers' forms of Beasthood, noting their appearance, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. But also how best to help them, calm them down. Bring them back.

[ She doesn't want it to mean it's how to kill them. No, no. Not at all. It's how best to help Sleepers, so they don't have to be killed. But also knowing how best to deal with them, so other Sleepers don't end up getting killed when dealing with Beasts. Merlin knows how many Witches and Wizards were likely killed by magical creatures they had no clue on how to handle them. Wild animals are just that, they can kill. ]

I could have very easily met death at the hands of a Hunter, but I was lucky I didn't. Knowledge is a very powerful tool, and I believe it could do a great deal of good. [ That being said: ] If people have information they'd like to share about their Beastforms, or how they've dealt with bringing Sleepers back — I would like to hear it for my research.

If you'd rather speak in person, you may find me at Ritual Gig in Willful Machine. [ There's a little pause, her voice wobbling slightly. ] You... may have known it as John Constantine's shop, but moving forward I shall be taking up the reins in his absence.

Comments

[creidim]

How curious. It's.. not often for a Sleeper to be deciding a new life before they come here. Most of us unfortunately left in the middle of something. [ However: ] But Moon Presence told us not to worry about back home, things are alright without us.

private

... Hidden by bravado and anger, it seems. That's quite unfortunate. [ There's a soft sound. ] Maybe, maybe not. I believe we'll have to see. I'll certainly understand if he doesn't.

(CW: faked death)

[nothinglikea]

Hmm. I left at the end of one life and the beginning of another. Even if it meant my mother would forever think me dead. It was worth it. But...has Moon Presence said anything about those of us who wish to stay?

private

That is it, exactly. I've been told by others that he's a prime example of--of toxic masculinity? I'm not sure what that means, but maybe it helps explain things to you? Both the good and the bad?

[creidim]

Why... would it be better for your mother to think of you as dead...? [ It's... an alarming thought to her. ] Moon Presence did tell us she would watch over us here in Trench, she swore to the Old Gods.

private

I'm not sure what it means either, really. [ It sounds like a modern thing. ] If I had to guess, maybe it's a man who embraces more negative traits of masculinity like brashness, or violence..? But I could be wrong, I think I might be better asking someone else.

[ Peter might know...? ]

(CW: guns, attempted murder)

[nothinglikea]

Because I was engaged to marry a truly awful man while I'd fallen in love with another. But he was lost in the end, so I thought it best to start entirely new. Be my--my authentic self without fear of how others saw me, fully this time.

private

Yes, both words would describe my dear fiancé. When he finally realized that I'd rejected him forever, he tried to shoot me and the man I loved.

[creidim]

... So it was better for you to be free under the guise of death, even if it meant leaving her behind. [ Luna pauses, sorry for her. ] I'm sorry you lost the man you loved.

private

That's awful—! Just because someone doesn't want to be with you doesn't mean you try to kill them, I can't imagine something like that.

[nothinglikea]

Yes. In the end, that seemed like the only solution. [she's lost in thought for a moment] Thank you for your kindness. Jack was truly a wonderful man. Someday, I'll feel up to telling the whole story of my life, but...not yet. I'm getting there, but not yet.

private

He was rich, snobby, and entitled. He thought he owned me the same way he would own his father's steel mills. He was wrong.

[creidim]

That's alright. And perhaps even if you never feel ready, that's alright too. Your story is your own, you don't have to tell people if you don't want to. [ There's a little smile. ] And you still have the whole of your life to live, yet!

private

He's horrible, of course he's wrong. You can't own a person. People aren't property.

(CW: slavery, Civil War)

[nothinglikea]

I fear that if I don't, this place will find a way to drag it out of me regardless.

private

They were in my time. A woman was the property of her husband, a girl was the property of her father. And while we'd fought a war to free and help the former slaves, there was still much work to be done.

[creidim]

I hope it doesn't. I really do.

private

That doesn't sound like a good time at all. I mean, I'm very close to my dad and love him dearly but he'd never consider me his property. Nor would I be considered property of my husband if I were to ever marry.

What... what year are you from?

private

[nothinglikea]

Believe me, it was far from a good time. [a pause] Sort of the opposite of a good time.

I'm from 1912. I take it you're from the future?

private permanently;

[creidim]

Oh, I knew people who weren't too far off from you in 1927. Unfortunately they're not here anymore.

It was 1998 when I left home, but there's people I know from even further in the future from me.

private permanently;

[nothinglikea]

1927 still feels impossibly far in the future. I still have yet to decide what I'll do to make money if I go home. Part of me wants to stay here.

Again, impossibly far in the future. And I do as well. It's strange, to have such a disadvantage when it comes to such a thing, isn't it?

[creidim]

I suppose there's a lot of different paths to pick, but you can have that here too. A lot of us chose to come here for a new life, to stay here.

It is a bit of a disadvantage, but I find myself quite enjoying learning all the new things. Especially things like music, and the shows on the tele-vision. I like learning, so it doesn't always feel so overwhelming.

[nothinglikea]

I believe that may be my path. There's nothing really holding me to my world, but a great deal holding me to this one. Even as people come and go, and madness comes and goes, I find it...more pleasant here. What of you and your gentleman friend?

As do I! Have you seen a telenovela? They're extraordinary, so many twists and turns to the plots and everyone is ridiculously attractive. And, what they call wuxia movies in China? Phenomenal! Completely defying the laws of physics and what is possible with martial arts, but so very beautiful. What have you found which you like?