deernet | video; un: seeingtheworld

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video; un: seeingtheworld

[When Luca comes onto the screen, it looks like he's been crying.]

So...um...I just wanted to let everyone know that Varian and Fern are gone. They...probably turned back into squids. Which...I mean, they're still together, so it's fine. They're fine. They're happy out there in the ocean, doing squid things, and really it's not like it's the first time I've realized I'm going to be separated from the people I care about, so...

[After all, when he went to school he was separated from Alberto and his family, expecting to not see them until the summer. Then he ended up here and realized he might very well never see them again. Still, having a feeling of loss strike him like this even in his new life when he's still longing for the people he loves from his previous one to show up...it hits him hard, and he looks like he might start crying again.]

So I'm fine, too.

[This is obviously a lie.]

That's all. I just thought everyone should know.

[He ends the recording right there.]

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All right. Shoot me your address and I'll be over as soon as possible, I promise.

Thanks.

[He sends her the address.]

All right. I'll be there soon.

[a pause]

Is there anything in particular you'd like to eat? Even if they're sweets. If there was ever a time when you deserved sweets, it would be whenever you wished. Now, especially.

Yeah. Do you have chocolate?

I do. If you're okay with waiting a little longer, I can make brownies?

Yeah, I'm fine with waiting for brownies.

Then I'll make a batch. Double chocolate chip brownies. I'll see you soon.

[approximately forty minutes later, Tinya's at the front door, rapping on it carefully. not too quiet so that it couldn't be heard, but not too smartly, either.

she's balancing a large basket in the crook of her left arm]

Hello? Luca?

[Luca opens the door, and is instantly greeted by the sweet, inviting smell of chocolate brownies. And also the sight of Tinya.]

Hi, thanks for coming over, come in.

[He moves out of the way so she can.]

[she smiles gently at him when he opens the door]

It's the least I can do. I...didn't know either of them, but that doesn't make a difference. It's always hard to lose the ones we love and depend on.

[she comes in with a fresh whiff of warm, gooey, chocolatey brownies] Where should I put these?

Um...

[He looks around, then points.]

Over there. On the table.

[As for how he's feeling...Luca goes over, taking a seat near the table and thinks about it.]

Yeah, it really is...especially since so much of this stuff is stuff picked out by Fern and Varian. The whole house is just so...them, and now they're suddenly not in it. It'll be weird not hearing strange clanging coming from the bathroom near their room, or see new weapons and stuff around the house.

[Normal things that regularly happen when one lived with those two. Luca grabs one of the brownies, but only nibbles on it, not seeming to be quite able to push himself to take a full bite.]

All right.

[she goes over and sets the pan on the table, uncovering it.

and when Luca takes a seat, she sits in another chair, close but not so much so that it would be crowding him]

I can't...say that I know how that feels, exactly. I died and left people behind for a while. But if it's something you're used to happening regularly, then to have it not happen will be strange. [because, how can it not? especially in a house apparently decorated by those who left. she'd almost think it would be best to redecorate, but that would likely cause more pains of loss than leaving things be.

but she doesn't volunteer that, figuring it would be best to let him sort his thoughts out himself, at least to start out with]

Yeah. And it's mostly...it's just that I miss them, and everything that reminds me that they're not here hurts.

I'm sorry. I wish I could do more. But missing them will probably last a while. It'll always be there, but someday the memories will make you smile instead of feeling bad.

Yeah...that helps to hear. But...I just wish there was a way to skip past this part.

I know this is going to sound silly, but I understand. When I was back in my world, I thought some--my husband died. I was a wreck for quite a while. And it's okay to be upset. There's no sell-by date for grief.

Yeah. I know it's okay. It just hurts. But...at least I know they're still out there somewhere.

They are. Likely swimming around together as squid as we speak. I'm sure they miss all of you, though.

Yeah, you're right. They probably do.

Maybe I'll see them when I'm swimming and I can tell them all about how we're doing.

Yeah. It's hard on everyone to be away from someone they love. And I'm sure they must have loved you very much.

I hope so. I'm sure they'll be looking out for you.

[but losing people who were loved was never easy. she knew that from hard experience]

Yeah, I'm sure they are. And I'll be looking out for them, too. I'm sure with how much time I spend in the water I'll see them again.

[He doesn't know if that's true, but it's comforting to think.]

Yes, absolutely. You and them and the sea. It will be nice.

[but he still looks so sad that she has to offer] ...can I give you a hug?

Yeah! I'd...really like that.

[Hugs are very much what he needs right now.]

[she gets up from her chair and gives Luca a big, tight hug, murmuring in his ear] I'm so very sorry. I'm not going to say that you're going to be fine because you won't be, at least not right away. But no one can take away your memories of the good times with them.

[He hugs her back tightly and whispers,]

Thanks.

[It's important to remember. Maybe with time, the memories won't hurt, reminding him of what he lost. Maybe with time they'll be fond memories, and he'll just think of all the fun he had.]

[she rests her head on the top of his and whispers back] Anytime.

[she only hopes that her son grows up to be as good and kind as Luca]

Do you all need me to stay the night? I can. I'm great at waffles.

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(CW: teen marriage)

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