Text ; Anonymous Account

[anthropophagite]

If your presence in this place only brought corruption and made everything worse, would you return to the ocean? Blood can not be shed here, but if you can't avoid it, then what are you meant to do?

I know I am selfish for wanting to exist, but I still would like to, even in a place like this.

I'm just not sure how.

Comments

Text; UN: Pierrot

[violetlies]

...

No one is selfish for wanting to exist.

If you're being selfish about anything, it's making cruel assumptions about yourself. I'm sure your presence doesn't just make everything worse. I'm sure other people would say that, too, whoever you are.

You just keep living and ask for help when you need it.

[anthropophagite]

[ Kaneki kind of does, though. He is contributing to blood pollution by eating, and he could just return to the ocean and stop that.

Other people just don't know about that. ]

That's because they are not aware.

It's also not something anyone can help with.

Text; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

Are you creating the corruption deliberately? If not, sometimes things in life cannot be helped. If you are only doing what needs to be done to survive, you needn't feel upset.

[anthropophagite]

It is the only way for me to survive, yes.
But what I must do is already disgusting in itself, and now with the added blood pollution it makes it even worse.

I thought I was a squid now and perhaps I wouldn't need those things, but in the end nothing changed.

[survivalthroughhate]

If you cannot change yourself and it is a mere matter of survival, you must simply learn to live with it. Preferably without such a degree of self-loathing as you possess. May I ask what it is that you have to do? You don't need to answer if it will reveal your identity.

text: un; an.observer

[thisislife]

There's no easy answer to that. Any of it.
I have my bookstore? I have friends? I have a guy I like and a girl I could like?
Whoo-hoo, I'm apparently not only pan but poly, too?

But I don't think I'd be able to let those sides of me out if I wasn't here. Here...pan and poly are as common as brown eyes.

It's not selfish to want to exist, for whatever reason it is that you do want to exist. You matter.

Maybe you'll find that out along the way?

[anthropophagite]

[ he doesn't know what pan and poly means at all, thus he doesn't quite get why it matters, but he supposes those are positive things to her. ]

I'm glad you found things that make you happy here.

But maybe. [ he does have things and people he is glad for. But none of them change the fact that by existing he is making everything bad. ]

[thisislife]

[they are and aren't. the pansexual part wouldn't be a huge problem back home, she'd just have the occasional ignorant jock asshole being themselves. but polyamorous would raise more than a few eyebrows]

I am. I figured I could either decide to try and make the best of it or I could complain all the time. No one likes that.

But maybe? But maybe what?

text; un: liontamer

[chickenchoicejudy]

this is a preeeeeeetty big question to ask a bunch of strangers on the computer, dude.

but uh. i dunno I don't think wanting to exist is a bad thing? i mean...it sounds like you're being too hard on yourself. like i'm sure you don't ONLY make things worse. there's people that care about you here right?

plus corruption is treatable anyway, so. could tooootally be worse.

[anthropophagite]

No one knows what I am, so I don't have anyone else to ask.

Even if it's treatable, I don't want to make things worse.
Back home things like me were hunted and I understand why, but I could at least try to live normally. Here it just doesn't feel right because I'm hurting people, at the same time.

Even when it's treatable.

[chickenchoicejudy]

dude, don't call yourself a thing? again, waaaay too hard on yourself. we're all weird squid people now, even if you've got some other thing going on apparently.

also it would probably help if you said like...what the thing you're doing that's so bad is? Because otherwise you're going to be like "noooo you don't get it I'm terrible" and I'm gonna be like "dude lighten up you're a person just like the rest of us" and we'll just go around in a big circle.

sooo

help me get it? what's going on man, stranger to stranger?

text | un: kd6-3.7

[obeir]

I don't think wanting to exist is a selfish desire, regardless of what your continued existence causes here.

It sounds like you require blood as sustenance? Have you spoken with any Blood Ministers? I would think they'd best be able to help you. Or possibly willing donors.

[anthropophagite]

Not just blood. [ a lot more than just that ]

I have help from blood ministers, but they can't provide everything I need to survive, I have to get it on my own. [ and that usually means doing really gross things, but also causing blood pollution when he does them ]

[obeir]

What else do you require? I'm getting the impression it isn't something you can just ask for volunteers for.

I wonder if there could be a way to synthesise what you need.

text; un: catsandmagic

[occultfan]

You aren't selfish for wanting to exist. Never say it is selfish to want to exist. You have the right to.

[anthropophagite]

Even in my world things didn't work like that. In this one, they don't either.

[occultfan]

I still stand by what I said. I'll even try and help in anyway I can to figure out the how.

I just cannot think of the how right away.

Text - UN: Onerthes

[onerthes]

You are not selfish to want to exist, and if this life is a better one than you know, to want it to continue is not wrong in this town. But, if you have an issue that is causing others corruption, unintentionally?

Well, it is possible for people to work to try and help this. We do have several who might be willing to try and find a path forward. You wouldn't be the first.

[anthropophagite]

It's not a better life, I just don't have any other.

A path forward? What do you mean?

text | un: valravn

[warminded]

If you're concerned about your presence making things worse, then do better.

[Which... sounds a lot harsher than he intends it to, but he's never been good at pep talks.]

Try harder. Do good. Make up for your failings.

Unless you're unwilling, that is.

[anthropophagite]

Doing something good will not stop what is happening. It's not a quid pro quo.

No matter how good I do, it is still happening. And the result would still be the same.

text; un:lady

[dohaeris]

I have a blood hound that eats blood pollution. He always needs to eat, and I could treat you daily, if need be. You can ask the lantern imps for the Rookery.

People often return to the ocean without dying, sometimes by their own will. You might try to remember what it felt like to be a fish. But there are ways to manage corruption, here in the city. There are people whose job it is to help you.

[anthropophagite]

People like me?

text - un: ilikemeat

[velvet_teen]

There's nothing wrong with you being selfish unless it gets in the way of me being selfish. Do what you want, moron.

[anthropophagite]

[ right... ]

You can be selfish as you please. [ he isn't going to judge someone for that, not really ]