deernet | video; un: taka [ memory share ]

Entry tags:

video; un: taka [ memory share ]

[ happier memory ]
[ It starts off with a stupid looking twelve year old blond kid in an orange jump suit turning towards a twelve year old Sasuke and Sakura, his eyes narrowed mischievously. ]

Hey... Don't you wanna see it? It's about time...

What?

You know what I'm talking about! Kakashi-sensei's... real face!

[ Naruto had gotten right up into Sakura's face, and she gasps, punching him on reflex. ]

What's the matter with you?!

[ Sasuke turns away from them both, rolling his eyes. ]

This is stupid. Count me out.

Yeah, you're probably right...

What if he has lips like a blimp?

[ Sasuke freezes in his foot steps. He pictures their sensei, his mask covered face, his hand lifting to pull it down and revealing a huge, bulging set of red lips. It's...disgustingly hilarious. ]

Or maybe... buck teeth!

[ The image of Kakashi with big lips is replaced by one with insanely large teeth, the kind of exaggeration only children can make in their imaginations. It is... possibly the stupidest thing that could break his resolve, and yet...

Sasuke turns back around, folding his arms over his chest. He's reluctantly agreeing and the three start to hash out their plan. The memory unfolds to show them trying to repeatedly get Kakashi to reveal his face in some way; they treat him to ramen, the three of them watching intensely, only to have their friends block their view and Kakashi's mask is pulled back up before they can get them to move. They try to serve them tea, but Naruto spills it and Kakashi blocks it by yanking up a table with all the snacks on it, ruining any chance that he'll have to remove his mask to eat. Sasuke and Naruto sneak into a bath house, figuring he has to take off his mask in there, but Kakashi emerges with a towel covering his face where the mask should be. They even pose as rogue ninja to try and attack him and pull his mask down in a fight, but Kakashi overpowers them easily.

And, strangely enough, they end up revealing actual ninja who were there to hurt Kakashi, foiling their plan by being idiots but making it look like they saw right through the ninjas well-thought out plan.

It's not until they're all in front of him for another mission that they finally do something smart: they ask. ]

You want to know what's behind my mask?

Will you show us?

Sure, I don't mind.

[ The three of them are at full attention, each anxiously staring as Kakashi lifts his hand to pull his mask down. It feels agonizingly slow, each kid picturing what's going to come next, before he finally reveals... ]

It's another mask! Pretty cool, huh?

[ The three of them collapse on the ground and thank God this memory finally comes to an end. ]

[ worst memory]
[ CWs: mass murder, parent death, mental torture, ptsd, violence ]

[ The memory cuts in as a seven year old Sasuke wakes in a room that's sterile and white, a curtain pulled around his bed. The hospital. He pulls himself up, not entirely sure what's going on at first. Walking into the halls, he can hear the nurses gossip, reminding him of the very thing he's in here for. ]

That boy was the only one who survived the massacre.

Someone said he has an older brother. Is that right?

He does, but no one knows where he is right now.

I can't believe it. That the elite Uchiha clan could just be...

[ Sasuke bolts from the hospital hall before the conversation can finish, running through the streets of Konoha until he reaches the entrance to the part of town where his clan had been banished too. There's police tape across the gate, tape he stares at, but ignores as he finally ducks underneath, just wanting to go home.

There's a moment where he thinks he sees his Aunt and Uncle greeting him, their hands raised to wave him back after a long day at school. But the image goes static, blurs, before disappearing entirely. In its place is just blood soaked gravel and dirt. Sasuke feels like he's been kicked in the stomach, and as if to emphasize the mood, it starts to rain.

He walks through the still blood soaked streets towards his home, memories flooding his head as he goes.

Good morning, Sasuke! Heading off to school now, are you? I saw your brother earlier. He's grown into such a man. He's an excellent shinobi, isn't he? ... That boy is the pride of the Uchiha clan, no doubt about it.

Sasuke stops and stares at his family crest painted on the wall, cracked and broken from where a kunai had been thrown into the rock. It's the crest just outside his own house. He pushes open the sliding door, staring at his empty house like he doesn't quite get why it's so dark. He walks inside, and an image of his mother invades his head.

Sasuke-kun, welcome home.

He takes his shoes off out of habit before walking through the rest of the home. He thinks he sees his father, but he vanishes like a ghost, just like the others. There's a bang from the kitchen and Sasuke bolts for it, his heart filled with hope. ]

Mom?!

[ His heart sinks when he sees it's just a cat eating the scraps. He leaves the room without another word, heading to the main room. There's still blood sprayed across the floor, the chalk outline of his parents bodies on the ground. He sinks to his knees beside them, the image of their bloodied corpses stuck in his head, and his brother, Itachi, standing over them.

Foolish little brother... There's a memory of himself in an illusion, standing in the same streets he just walked down, watching as his brother kills their clan, as the bodies fall in front of him, and he screams, begging for it to end.

The memory fades and Sasuke's still sitting in the same, empty room, kneeling in the dried blood stains, staring at them with empty eyes. His brother's voice echoes in his head once more.

At present, you are not worth killing. ... If you want to kill me, despise me, hate me, and live a loathsome life... Run away.

He feels tears stinging his eyes, before they start to come in waves, and he finally lets himself cry. ]

. . .

[ Sasuke should say something, right? Acknowledge that this just got blasted everywhere?

But instead he sighs in irritation and goes to toss his Omni into the ocean. It'll come back. But it at least made him feel better for now. ]

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[ Did he just...??

Her eyes widen a bit as the realization settles in over her. Quickly enough she melts into it, because she's waited so long for him to kiss her like this again. It's tender and sweet, perhaps less passion filled as their first kiss, but wonderful all the same.

She fights the desire to throw her arms around him and pull him closer, not wanting to add unwanted tension to the kiss. Instead, she lifts her hand to his cheek in encouragement and acceptance before gently deepening it. ]

[ Sasuke seems to be slightly more in control than he had been when the corruption had been pushing him forward. There's an obvious attempt at keeping himself under control, to not overwhelm himself with the intensity of it all.

He hesitates for only a second before opening his mouth a little more to encourage her deepening the kiss. His heart feels like it's pounding and it still feels so unfamiliar. But it feels nice, and so he reaches his own hand out, putting it on her waist as he pulls himself a little closer to her. ]

[ Sakura was tentative in response, letting him be the one to lead the moment. The last thing she wanted was to scare him off. At the same time, kissing him feels amazing and she'd been living off her memories of the last one.

His hand on her waist is enough to make her sigh against his mouth and she can feel that desire to be close to him once again bubbling to the surface. Her desire to be kissed by him has only grown since their first a few months ago, so she eagerly welcomes anything he's willing to give her. ]

[ There was a warmth spreading through him, that same desire to push her down into the futon overcoming him, and he has to stop himself. He pulls back, though not as forcefully as the last time. It's a gentle end to the kiss, his forehead going to rest against hers as he catches his breath for a moment. ]

... Sorry.

[ What??? Why is he apologizing??? It feels stupid even to him the moment it leaves his mouth. ]

For not asking.

[ His apology catches her completely off guard, far more than even the kiss did. She looks at him blankly for a moment before he explains further, and his explanation gets a gentle laugh out of her. She shakes her head, her cheeks flushing deeply. ]

No, no, no. Don't apologize for that!

[ After all she wants him to kiss her, and far more often than he had been. When she gets over her own embarrassment, she reaches out to take his hand. ]

Look, let's just say from here on out, you have permission to kiss me anytime you want to.

[ Any time he wants to? The idea makes his face turn a little more red, though he can't pin point why. It would be impossible for him to admit to himself just how often he's wanted to kiss her, and just how concerned he is that it would go farther than that.

And yet he doesn't bring himself to shoot the invitation down as he might have in the past. He pauses in thought, reaching out to brush his fingers against her cheek. ]

Hn.

[ That gives her... absolutely nothing and he's aware of that. He lowers his hand, looking away from her. There's a question on the tip of his tongue, but it takes all his strength to actually get it out. ]

How often do you want me to?

[ For her part, Sakura has been thinking about it a lot. She's pretty sure that at least seventy-five percent of her day has involved thinking about him, and for once she's allowed herself to completely indulge in letting her mind drift to him.

While he was away, both before he'd returned and after he'd left to redeem himself, she'd find him slipping into her thoughts all the time. The difference was that she'd had to keep her mind on other things so as not to go too crazy with missing him. Now that he's here with her, she finds herself not pushing away the thoughts of being with him, kissing him, even going farther than that. She's not afraid to, but she hasn't wanted to push.

She finds herself bravely leaning in so that her lips are hovering over his.]

When you wake up in the morning...before bed...and every possible minute in between?

[ She punctuates each suggestions with a peck, before kissing him deeply. ]

[ Sasuke closes his eyes when he feels her hovering, barely managing to return each kiss that she gives him before he feels her lips pressed more firmly against his again. He can feel his face heating at the idea of kissing quite so often, but doing it now, when he isn't as pushed by corruption, at least makes it a little less overwhelming than it had been before.

He holds the kiss for a moment, before he pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against hers. His hand reaches up to brush her cheek, playing gently with her hair, and he leans in to give her another soft, quicker kiss. ]

That sounds like it won't leave room for anything else.

[ The joy she feels over the knowledge that he now openly returns her feelings settles in over her again and her eyes slip shut as she takes it all in. she doesn't have to hide this anymore and it's freeing and satisfying on a deeply emotional level.

She opens her eyes and gives a small nod. ]

There is a lot of kissing we've already missed out on over the years.

[ A lot of time she would have preferred to be kissing him, particularly those last two years when she'd been almost certain that he actually wanted to. ]

And now that I no longer have to fantasize about kissing you, I can't help but feel a little greedy.

[ He snorts, shifting to place a kiss against her forehead instead this time. ]

Glad to see the reality isn't a disappointment in comparison.

[ Despite the slightly teasing tone, he was actually relieved. Sasuke had never kissed anybody (Naruto did not count), and he'd been hardly interested in it for years. There had been a real certainty that maybe he would just be... terrible at it, though if you'd told him just a few years ago that he'd be worried about these sorts of things, he'd have laughed at you. ]

[ Even the small act of his lips pressed to her forehead, the same place he'd poked her two years prior, makes her stomach flip pleasantly. ]

Not at all. It was absolutely worth the wait.

[ She lets out a sigh. ]

I understand the wait though, and it was my own fault you didn't kiss me all those years ago.

[ Sasuke tilts his head, forehead creasing slightly with some obvious confusion. He knows he doesn't remember a lot of things clearly from his time in Konoha as a kid, but usually his memories with her are fairly strong.

And this one he's drawing a blank on. ]

When did you think I was going to kiss you?

[ She blinks a bit at that response. Wasn't that such a pivotal moment. The first time he'd ever called her "annoying". He'd made it clear, despite his outward lie, that he recalled that part.

Her cheeks flush and she's not sure she wants to ruin the moment by bringing it up. ]

It was just before you called me annoying for the first time.

[ Sasuke does indeed remember that day, though it seems to do nothing to clear up his confusion. His forehead just wrinkles further as he stares at her, trying to figure out if he'd missed a moment there.

But all he recalls is the conversation about Naruto and how quickly it had soured. ]

... Why on Earth would I have kissed you then?

[ She looks embarrassed, again, disappointed in herself for ruining it all. ]

Well...obviously not then. But it was just before then, we'd been talking on the bench. You leaned in like you would have kissed me. Then you suddenly pulled away and ran off. When you came back, I tried to continue our conversation, but I put my foot in my mouth in a big way, obviously.

[ Okay, he's pretty certain he would absolutely remember that. ]

That conversation about Naruto was the first time I talked to you after the teams were picked.

[ She looks puzzled, and embarrassed. For a few long moments she tries to put her memories into place. ]

I know, that was what we were talking about before you ran off. You know, maybe it was me who leaned in to kiss you now that I think about it. But you ran off before we could kiss and told me you'd be right back. When you came back, you weren't quite the same...and I went to far. I still feel embarrassed that I ever said those things about Naruto.

You don't have to be embarrassed, I know you were fairly sheltered as a child.

[ But had he really forgotten that much of their conversation? Could he really have run off and forgotten completely about it? He looks away from her as he tries to place it, tries to figure out an explanation to such wildly different events... ]

I never sat with you on the bench. I only remember coming back, you acting stranger than usual and... Then what you said.

[ There's a beat before he decides to offer: ] If you're willing, you can show it to me.

[ She hadn't wanted to bring up the details with him ever. It had been hard enough to bring it up when she'd been begging him to stay behind in the village. She'd needed them to acknowledge that he found her annoying, but she hadn't ever spoken to him about the events of that day. It had been easy enough, especially as she'd grown to just feel like she was responsible for the whole thing.

She knew she'd come around since then, but it was still not a shining example of her character, even back then. But those were reasons she'd made the decision to grow. She simply wasn't that little girl anymore. ]

Oh I probably worked it all up in my head, I was prone to silly romantic fantasies like that.

[ But she might as well show him the memory if he wanted to see it. ]

But, go ahead if you'd like.

[ Sasuke nods at her permission. While he knew she could certainly be right about overthinking it, he still wanted to know for certain. He pushes his hair away from his left eye before he reaches his hand up to cradle her face again, shifting so that he can look more easily into her eyes. ]

It might be a little disorienting after. But it shouldn't be so bad with just one memory.

[ The real discomfort came when he sorted through someone's entire mind, he was fairly sure. It was why he mostly reserved it for people who were already unconscious or dead.

Using the rinnegan, he's sure to look for the one memory and doesn't let himself touch on others. It takes him a moment, but he's finally sure he has the right one, and he watches from Sakura's point of view as he does approach her, with a cheesy line she'd just said in her own head, one he's sure would never have left his lips in a million years back then, and certainly wouldn't be phrased the same way if he even tried to say it now. He feels his heart racing alongside hers as she leans in, watches himself not pull away right away, and then... Runs. Just like she said.

He pulls out of the memory after, rubbing his temples and ignoring the way his face is flushed with embarrassment, not because of his own, but because of experiencing hers first hand. How could that possibly have been him...? ]

I—

[ Except he remembers, then. He had run into Naruto just before hand. After he'd... tied him up. Sasuke groans, shaking his head. ]

That wasn't me, Sakura.

[ It is a little disorienting, and she feels somewhat vulnerable knowing that he has access to so much of her memories and experiences. Many of her memories involving him carry some kind of pain and she doesn't want to add to his guilt by letting him experience just how much he's hurt her. Of course, she feels perfectly safe giving him access because she knows he'd never abuse the power.

Her hand tightens in the blanket over the mattress to reground herself when it's done. She looks up at him curious, trying to piece that together. ]

Not...you?

[ He nods, looking away from her, somehow feeling a twinge of guilt that she'd spent all this time thinking he'd just blown her off in the middle of such an intense moment. He would have, of course, but not like that, and he never would have made her think there was a chance in the first place for something romantic when they'd only just become teammates.

He knows it's not realistically his fault, but try telling that to his overactive conscience. ]

Earlier that day, Naruto had broken into a room I was in and tied me up. He used a copy jutsu, but I never understood why he'd wanted to pretend to be me. When I ran into him later, he was rushing to the bathroom because of an upset stomach. He wouldn't tell me what he'd been up to, he just wanted to fight more.

[ The pieces slowly start to fall into place and she's not sure whether to laugh, cry, or rage about the whole thing. Still one thing is for sure...and her eye twitches a little at the thought. ]

...If Naruto were here, I would punch him hard. Very very hard.

[ She lets the anger ebb, taking a deep breath, she lets the humor of it settle on her. ]

You know, come to think of it, you'd never say those things. I didn't know you as well back then, but I'd never fall for it now.

Mmm... He's always been a shitty actor.

[ Sasuke's glad she at least lets the anger of it go. Much as he think she might have liked to see Naruto get punched for that kind of prank. It's not something he ever would have wanted him to toy around with, even back then. Feelings weren't the sort of thing he liked to mess around with. ]

I'm sorry he did that.

And he's certainly your polar opposite. I told him once, when he was trying to sort out his feelings for Hinata, that his feelings for me had always been because I liked you and he wanted to one up you. He didn't like me for me, he liked me because I liked you.

[ She lets out a sigh. Men could be so difficult. People liked to act like women were the complicated, petty ones, but in her experience men were the ones who complicated love. The girls she knew had always been pretty straight forward in the pursuit of their affections. ]

It's fine...

[ Looking at him, she seems to be trying to figure something out. ]

It wasn't any less meaningful. [ She seems to be convincing herself of that, since she'd always thought about it in some kind of combination, feeling sure she'd just pushed Sasuke too far. ] It was still the first time we...connected in any way. You certainly changed me in that moment, led me to being a better person. That...wasn't Naruto.

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