Video; Possible Bar Action; ....... lots of images under cut

[kingoftherats]

[The feed opens for a moment to Charlie, sporting a black eye and a scabbed lip (thank you Dean Winchester), but he doesn't seem to mind that; instead he's eagerly sitting in his bar, which is open to the public (sorry everyone), and it appears to have quite an assortment of questionable criminal-like men and old tired sailors.]

Hey, dudes! It's Charlie here, and I got a video I was gonna play for you — like, it's just a cool thing I put together for the pub now that it's open, but also because I'm gonna have a big sale there with all the crazy stuff I found around town this weekend, so — yeah, check it out! I think it came out pretty great!

And just as a tip: don't linger in the alleyway outside of the bar. People get stabbed there a lot.

[... A clumsily recorded video abruptly plays, full of weird cuts and zooms and-...]





























[When it cuts back to Charlie, he seems really proud of himself and awaits your adoration.

If anyone is so bold as to show up at this yard sale being held at Paddy's Pub's outdoor area... they may very well find some unique and unusual trinkets he had taken from the sewers... or just useless and/or gross things. There are absolutely diamonds in the rough here. May the odds ever be in your favor, because for every rock or sock or fork, there's a magical gem or rare ingredient to a spell.

Who knows what you'll find!

... And yes, the pub is likewise open for business, if you need moonshine to get you through the day.

He doesn't bother carding anyone here, for the record. He ain't your dad.]

Comments

[zib]

[Surprisingly, that response about cars doesn't seem to surprise Zib at all to hear.]

Was it a human beauty pageant or like, one involving dogs or cats or some other kind of animal?

[kingoftherats]

Oh, it was one of those kid ones. The really weird ones with the bitchy moms? Yeah, I didn't enjoy that very much, and the kids really sucked at it, but Frank ended up having to host it for... whatever reason, so I helped out.

[Listen, he's just told to do stuff, and he does it.]

This one kid had fake teeth in? It was creepy, and I thought she was gonna bite me and suck out my nutrients or something.

[zib]

What, like a vampire? Were they super pale and like, drinking red stuff and claiming it was juice instead of blood?

[What has this conversation turned into...]

Wait, no, never mind, I'm getting off track, and you said the teeth were fake anyway.

What's actually at this yard sale you've got?

[kingoftherats]

Man, it would've been cool if vampires were involved. They might trip some serious balls if they bite me at the wrong time, though.

I got all kinds of stuff! Like, medallions and little weird rocks, and just a buncha stuff people leave around. Nuts and bolts and, like. I got this really nice boot; there's just one, but a boot's a boot, bro.

[zib]

Well... some spare nuts and bolts could be useful, if they end up being compatible with my ship or some other kind of invention I work on here...

Could I possibly come right now for this yard sale, then?

[kingoftherats]

Uh, yeah, sure. Stop in, dude.

A ship, like — a pirate ship, orrrr...?

[zib]

A space ship.

[He answers, rather casually.]

[kingoftherats]

Oh. Okay.

Not as cool as a pirate ship, but cool.

You usually build those, or what?

[zib]

No... I mean, I probably could if I had the right parts for one, but this one was a ship I had gotten my hands on back home. After I first washed up here, I found it stuck in the sand.

[kingoftherats]

I guess so...

Why're you building one, anyway? You really think you're gonna be able to leave here, or what?

[zib]

Why not? I don't want to just stay here for the rest of my life, after all.

[kingoftherats]

Uuuuuuuh... I doubt you're gonna have a whole lot of choice, man.

You really think you're gonna just leave to some other planet?

[zib]

As opposed to what, exactly? Just sitting around without at least trying to see if it's possible or not?

Because that would just be a tremendous waste.

[kingoftherats]

Yeah, sure. Oooor you could just have fun and do shit around Trench instead.

This is probably where you're gonna be stuck whether you like it or not, so you might as well get used to it.

[zib]

Thanks, but no thanks. I've got important business that I need to get back doing as soon as possible, so I can't afford to just stay here forever.

[kingoftherats]

Nah, man. You're a squid-person in squid country. You're shit outta luck.

The important business thing? Just wash it out of your mind. Maybe do some underage drinking. I won't even tell on you. Wait, how old are you anyway? You look like you're, like, ten. Go play on a playground and eat some Airheads or something.

[zib]

[At that, Zib's teeth grind closed, and Charlie will be able to see that he... does not have normal human teeth, they're more jagged and wavy than the average person's should be, before he manages to try to speak as calmly as possible.]

I'm twelve--no, practically thirteen even at this point, okay? But how old I am doesn't mean I'm not just as capable of having important things I want to do. Which includes saving Earth at the top of the list, so no, I am not going to just forget about it.

[kingoftherats]

Twelve, ten, same deal.

What're you even doing, saving the Earth? They have adults for that kinda garbage, dude.

[zib]

Mine doesn't: they won't take the threat of aliens who have very vocally said that they want to conquer and destroy our planet seriously. They either don't care, or see it just as a joke.

[kingoftherats]

You're telling me your planet's in danger of little green ghoul-men from space, but nobody's even taking it seriously? I'd be building the biggest canon on the planet and shooting them out of the sky. There's no such thing as a nice alien invasion; they're gonna do weird probe-stuff to humans! Isn't that enough reason to take it serious?

[zib]

Exactly. But they don't.

They don't have anything to protect us from the aliens, so that's why I have to be the one to fight and come up with an invention that can do something about it.

[kingoftherats]

So... The twelve-year-old kid has inventions, but not the grown-ups.

Well, okay, even if that's true... You're still gonna be stuck here, pretty sure. Nobody's ever had a choice to leave, other than one special time. And if you came back, that was it; you were here.

[zib]

Well, I'm going to try to get out of here anyway no matter what you say. Maybe some of you have given up on looking for the means to make it work, or maybe you even like it here, but I'm not the same in that regard. I didn't choose to come here, after all.

[kingoftherats]

Suit yourself, little guy.

Just don't come whining to me when your spaceship explodes or gets taken by a giant octopus or some shit!