text; un: tabris

[peripheries]

Humans talk so much about love, but how do you know what love is? And if a feel you feel is love?

The first time I felt what I thought was love, it was someone else's will. And it was sticky, heavy like my chest was constricted and I couldn't breathe, like I was choking on it.

The next time, I felt elated and weightless, like all pain and sorrow had vanished from the world and my memories. I knew eventually, I'd be hurt but... in that moment, I believed nothing could harm me, and it still cut like a knife when it happened.

Could both of those feelings be love? Or is love something else entirely? Can you hurt someone and still love them? Is being hurt by someone you care for and accepting that hurt a form of love?

How do you know if you're even capable of such feelings?

Comments

text | un: duty

[martyrofduty]

Love is enormous and dwarfs our comprehension. No one can truly capture its essence in words. The words we find and hold are the finger pointing to the moon, not the moon itself.

How do you know if it is love?

You are not its center. You're in orbit, bound by its gravity. You choose it. You decide what love you will give. You decide when to walk away and when to stay.

All you need to do is be able to live with yourself, with what you choose.

Choose it, follow through with it, and know then, you are capable.

un: enpawnsant

[hearthebell]

It's a riddle and a paradox.

Ultimately, it's the one thing people give away expecting to find more of, but it doesn't usually go that way.

Some people see what's given away as free, and therefore worthless. I think if you're hurt, it's proof that you can love, though perhaps not justification.

( text | un: duckling )

[danserai]

They can be. Love can be painful and sweet. It's not really one thing. It just needs to be something you want to keep with you.

Text UN: clickclickbloom

[onekindsoul]

I'd say the answer to all those questions really come down to the person. For me I'd say yes, it's possible to all of those.

You can hurt someone and still love them. But... You also have to be aware of the pain you've caused and make efforts to not cause the same pain again.

And the same goes for someone who's been hurt accepting it. It's not healthy to stay in a situation where you're going to continue being hurt.

You don't get any extra credit for suffering.

And... I think just asking these questions is proof enough that you've felt those feelings before- And that drove you to ask ask about them.

text, un: AskMalice

[slayerskiss]

[She's too emotionally exhausted to sign this as anonymous, so she just uses her regular username. She's spilling her guts like this kid is. She's spilling her guts like she spilled Maul's, or Sayo's, or Willow's.]

Everyone I've ever loved I've hurt, betrayed and screwed over and everyone who's loved me has done the same to me. I used to think that it was because something was fundamentally wrong with me, like the way I love things is broken and selfish and that I was incapable of feeling selfless affection.

But honestly. I think any talk of love being something that's fundamentally selfless and kind is bullshit. You can hate someone and still have your entire life revolve around them, still think about them every day, still want to be with them constantly. You can love someone and want to kill and ruin them too. Where I'm from, that's the only way that most vampires and most demons know how to do it.

Don't know where I'm going with this.

I guess I just mean it's all the same. Whether it hurts or drives you insane or makes you kind or makes you cruel, it's the same general emotion. I think the fact that it hurts means you're more than capable.

Wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't feel it in the first place, right?

text; un: eudaimonikos

[eudaimonikos]

Do you mean romantic love, or regular love?
Humans say they're different, I don't really know.

un: warden; text

[megatheorem]

Don't let someone treat you poorly and write it off as love. Love isn't an excuse.

text | un: asogi

[truerevival]

Both of those could have been love. Though the pain may have overshadowed the sweetness one often associates with the feeling.

I believe everyone is capable of love in some capacity, though love takes on many forms. It need not be romantic to be considered love.

...I have personally debated on what I feel for someone is more than platonic.

[peripheries]

That assumes choice existed in the first place. Some beings are as were made to be and nothing more. Humans have more freedom than other living things to even be able to consider loving or not loving.

[peripheries]

Is pain the only way to be sure? Most creatures run from things that are painful.

[peripheries]

If it can be both those things, opposing things, how do you really know what it is at all?

[peripheries]

I thought I was starting to understand. But... if I don't understand love, I don't think I could tell them apart. Not really.

[peripheries]

Humans will always hurt each other. It's the nature of living as separate beings. What sort of pain is acceptable and what isn't?

[peripheries]

How can same thing feel so different? How can you recognize it in its next form?

...How do you know the difference between those types of feelings?

[peripheries]

How do you know if it's an acceptable sort of pain? I thought I was prepared to handle pain when I knew it was inevitable. Does it mean that it was too much? Or that I was just weak?

[peripheries]

I have pain and been hurt. I've betrayed and been betrayed. Is that what it is? Trapped in a cycle looking for love without pain when it doesn't exist?

[megatheorem]

Well, I disagree with that. And I'm not sure 'acceptable pain' is a thing. Forgiveness is what you should be looking into, if you're thinking about how much you're willing to put up with.

[martyrofduty]

You wonder about hurting people and being hurt; if you're capable of hurt beyond the physical, you are capable of all that comes with it.

If that does not convince you—

We all became something else when we came here. Our very blood is full of choices that we can make of it.

[danserai]

I think you know when you want to hold onto it.

Like even if it's painful sometimes, if it means something to you, then you keep holding on. That's what love is.

[peripheries]

Is forgiveness the same as wanting to be near someone even if they hurt you?

[peripheries]

You make it sound like love can be inherently painful.

[danserai]

Yes. Sometimes you can lose the person you love. Or they don't love you back. In times like those, it's very painful.

[peripheries]

Then if I'm capable of it, I don't want it.

[danserai]

. . . Okay? That's your choice.

[peripheries]

Is there really choice in what you can feel? I thought they were supposed to just be things that are.