[text] username: justanadventurer

[aetherweaver]

[He debates for a while if he wants to post this anonymously or not. He very nearly does, for fear of making people worried.]

[But he's trying to be better about his mental health, and if he can put his face to this then others can feel more comfortable talking about their problems, too.]

I was just wondering...

A lot of us are 'heroes' in our home worlds, or maybe 'chosen ones' or... basically we're expected to save the world or do something amazing.

How do you change from that to going to an everyday life? I've been trying to for months, but I can't shake the habit if expecting to solve every problem by myself - or nearly by myself, at least. ... It's nice to be regarded as a 'normal' person, but it's difficult to stop trying to be a 'hero'.

It's getting to be a problem, not knowing how to not take on too much. Does anyone have any tips?

[Now to hope Gaia misses this post...]

Comments

text; un: ghostking

[umbraportation]

Start small. Find one thing you like doing that had nothing to do with your heroic lifestyle. It could be something like finding half an hour to read a book. Doesn't have be a whole huge project, but something you want to keep doing - finish a book, make this thing you're building, whatever - on a daily basis.

[aetherweaver]

I've been helping out with fixing up the place I'm living, but...

That's a good idea. Focus on the small things... it's been too long since I was able to just relax and finish a book. And probably something non-fiction. I'd like to get more into making things, though - I have some sewing experience, but not much for other manual labor trades.

[umbraportation]

That's a necessity, not a hobby or something fun.

Try picking one thing at a time, and once you've gotten comfortable doing that, add another. Repeat.
It's hard breaking out of "hero" and "chosen one" mindset, and doing too many at once will just make them feel like another chore on your list of things to do.

[aetherweaver]

Yeah, I always feel like I need to be really good at whatever I do... it's a lot of pressure.

Trying to pick something to do as a hobby... I do kind of like cooking. Is cooking a hobby, though?

[umbraportation]

It is. I think if you keep in mind that anything new you start, you'll need practice at, you could branch out to learning things.

It can be. Finding new recipes and things to try out, so long as it's enjoyable and not a daily task.

[aetherweaver]

I do cook a good portion of the days, but I'd like to branch out with more recipes. There are books that have those, right?

[umbraportation]

I never cooked before, so I've started learning since coming here. There are recipe books. A lot of the recipes are catered to the ingredients available here.

[aetherweaver]

I imagine they must be - there's a lack of a lot of things around here. But I'm sure that there's plenty of ways to cook things that I haven't even thought of.

[umbraportation]

Honestly, same. I've got a cooking partner who has been teaching me stuff and the tricks she has are something incredible.

[aetherweaver]

Oh, wow. Really? That's great! I... don't know if any of my friends here really know how to cook.

[umbraportation]

I could ask my partner if you could join us, if you'd like. I didn't really know much about it, so I've been doing a lot of learning.

[aetherweaver]

Oh... I don't want to intrude, but it would be nice.

[umbraportation]

I doubt Chizuru will mind, she enjoys having someone to cook alongside.

What sort of stuff do you usually cook?

[aetherweaver]

Wait, Chizuru's your partner? ... Huh. I didn't know.

Usually I cook fish or mushrooms... occasionally other meats, if we can get it. I'm not very good at hunting so I often have to trade for it.

[umbraportation]

Yeah, we met over the network shortly after I got here. I was kind of in the same position as you, needing things to do that wasn't every day "heroics", so we started talking about it, now here we are. Cooking partners.

Never tried hunting, since animals sense when I'm near and run away pretty fast. As for cooking... I usually just do whatever Chizuru is showing me stuff. Though, I can make some of my home land's dishes on my own.

[aetherweaver]

Oh, just cooking partners. That's nice.

I grew up hunting. My clan and I lived out in the wilderness. Though I was never any good at it... I did my best, but I can't handle a bow very well. Most of what I grew up with eating is stew or cured meats.

[umbraportation]

Friends, too. I'm also going to teach her some self-defense.

Bows aren't for everyone. The few times I've tried it, I wasn't very good, but I kept practicing. Stew's good. Did you guys have things like refrigerators and freezers?

[aetherweaver]

Oh good, she could use that sort of training... I do worry about her.

I'm more magically inclined, but I've got a rapier, a sword and shield, and a scythe on hand for fighting here.

The cold things that are in some houses? No. If we were lucky the people trading with us had ice crystals - that's crystalized ice aether, not just like snow - and kept their goods in that. But otherwise, no.

[umbraportation]

Yeah, in a place like this, everyone could do with a little knowledge on how to protect themselves.

Never really learned how to fight with other weapons beyond my sword, but I had the opportunity back home. Camp taught whatever you were interested in learning when it came to weapons.

Must be pretty strange to have stuff like that so abundant here, then. Kind of like a big culture shock.

[aetherweaver]

Agreed. And knowing this place, it'll throw something at you before you even realize it... it's one of the reasons I keep training.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with specialization! While I might be good at what I do I wouldn't call myself a master who's spent years honing a single weapon. There's a certain special something when you find a weapon that clicks, you know?

It is. The omni was hard enough to understand, though I had help. Some of the other technology is... interesting. Some of it reminds me of what the Garlean Empire would use.

[umbraportation]

Same. Don't want to get lack in my skills and end up hurt because of it.

Yeah, everyone has what they prefer and some just have natural talent with a certain weapon. I wouldn't mind branching out, just to have a little variety. Never know when you might be without your sword, but have a dagger on hand.

Help is good. I never had much need for most of the other technology, it's been interesting learning some of it.

Also, Chizuru said it was fine if you joined us.

[aetherweaver]

Or let other people get hurt, yeah. I'm actually okay with most weapons that aren't a healer's tool - and yes healers know plenty of harming magic in my world.

It's definitely been an interesting time learning all of this technology. I guess some people must have come up with this stuff instead of using magic - though I haven't really seen any magic used by the people here other than blood magic, so probably they don't have the same kind of magic.

Oh good! Thank you! :)

[umbraportation]

Also true. You don't have to tell me about that, healers can be terrifying fighters. They know just how to hurt someone with the least amount of hits.

Haven't met a lot of people with what they'd call straight-up magic, at least that I know of. They usually call it something else.

I'll send you our schedule and meeting place.

[aetherweaver]

I've known plenty of people who underestimate them... but you're absolutely right.

It's surprising given how many people use magic all the time where I'm from. Even when they're crafting things... outside of the Garleans it's extremely rare for someone to not be able to use aether.

That sounds great to me! :)

[umbraportation]

I hang around a bunch of healers, who can also kick ass on the battlefield. My boyfriend's one of them.

Honestly, I'm kind of having the opposite problem here. Not in terms of magic, but there wasn't anyone else who could do anything similar to what I do. Here there's a whole group of them, some of them even specialize in certain type of ability.

👍

[ Nico do that privately, mostly because it's all handwaved. ]