[text] username: justanadventurer

[aetherweaver]

[He debates for a while if he wants to post this anonymously or not. He very nearly does, for fear of making people worried.]

[But he's trying to be better about his mental health, and if he can put his face to this then others can feel more comfortable talking about their problems, too.]

I was just wondering...

A lot of us are 'heroes' in our home worlds, or maybe 'chosen ones' or... basically we're expected to save the world or do something amazing.

How do you change from that to going to an everyday life? I've been trying to for months, but I can't shake the habit if expecting to solve every problem by myself - or nearly by myself, at least. ... It's nice to be regarded as a 'normal' person, but it's difficult to stop trying to be a 'hero'.

It's getting to be a problem, not knowing how to not take on too much. Does anyone have any tips?

[Now to hope Gaia misses this post...]

Comments

Text | un: mister_hatter

[payingfordeliverance]

Ah, this one is quite simple. Acquire for yourself a gaggle of fussy, well-intentioned teenagers. The sort prone to making speeches about friendship during dramatic moments are a really good bet.

These will be your guardians. Whenever they sense you thinking of taking on too much -- and this sort of teenager can detect this happening from an admirable distance, I find -- they'll swoop in like a horrid plague of lovable bats and scold you terribly about learning to rely upon others and love yourself and so on. Eventually you'll settle down out of sheer desperation, as the repeated provocation of your kids becomes too tiresome to fight.

[aetherweaver]

[It's a good thing this is text, because he's laughing.]

I do live with someone around that age, though she's not the type for friendship speeches. She's already gotten on my case about taking on too much, but it's a little difficult when I don't quite know how to not take on too much.

[payingfordeliverance]

[Why does he laugh at the trials and tribulations of Xerxes Break overprotectively chasing his brat brigade everywhere and having it backfire on him because they all love him now even when he is cranky. 8( ]

Then, you've begun to accomplish the first two crucial steps in this. The other, of course, being to recognize that this place has a penchant for pulling in chosen ones and heroes, and if ever a crisis strikes while you are off duty five other chosen ones will likely come screaming out of the woodwork.

Then, I think, the third thing is: You need to choose a priority for yourself. Perhaps two or three, if you really can't tone it down right away. Remember those priorities, always.

[aetherweaver]

[Because it's funny advice, even if it might be effective. It's not intuitive, at least.]

I know you're right... I'm just used to having everyone rely on me. I really hadn't had much time off in six years or so, so it's a tough habit to break.

A priority? Like what?

[payingfordeliverance]

[It is because Break is an old pro at learning things the hard way. This has turned him into a mentor figure and he can be much less cryptic about things here than he was at home, so Nara'a can prepare for a wall of text. When he is tapping away at his omni there is no one to stop him from rambling.]

Well. In this world of myriad heroes, where even those who led mundane, normal lives before this place can come to wield strange powers, we are granted the leisure of having specialties, you know? For all its faults, there is only so much of Trench to be saved at a time.

And so, you might ask yourself: "What is it that only I can do?"

If you are someone better suited to something like organizing crisis relief than whacking things about on the battlefield, there is no need to force yourself to show up with a sword each time a monster rears its head simply because you are capable of it; this place is dangerous and we have ample combat masters. I know someone who excels at wielding both sword and scythe and can provide training with both, but it's the scythe users who flock to him for help, as swords are much more common. Another example: There are many individuals here who can use weapons. There are not so many who can forge them.

Choosing one ability to hold above the others allows a further depth in using that skill. And, once you have chosen that priority for yourself, you hold it in your heart at all times. It allows you to keep a clear head in the face of the world's mess, and to say at overwhelming moments, "This is the path I have set my feet to. There is no need to decide what to do in the midst of all these options, because that decision has already been made."

The others with their own priorities will fall into place around you, and the wounds of this world will have many devoted hands to patch them up, and those hands will be all the more soothing for their focus and clarity.

[aetherweaver]

I see. There are a lot of things I can do... combat is something I'm very good at, but there is something to be said about trying to pick something outside of that. Manual labor isn't exactly my strength, but I do like to learn things.

Having so many capable people around means I don't have to fight as much... it's just something that I'm very used to doing. I'm not really sure how to pick another path... I made my decision for what to focus on studying years ago, and I've held that as my path... but that also leads to combat.

[payingfordeliverance]

I'm not saying you need to turn away from the life of a fighter if you don't wish to. Only that if you do choose to make that your priority here, you needn't also be the person roaming the beaches to coax people away from giant mind-addling suicide moths, or whatever other nonsense the place has come up with for the month.

[Most everyone Break has met who had to fight at home has enjoyed stepping away from that somewhat, himself included. But, he can remember a time in his life when it was what he would have chosen for himself, too.]

Do you enjoy combat? Or is it merely a chore, as essential as having to go to the market in the rain some days?

text | un: duty

[martyrofduty]

You've covered everything for me.

[payingfordeliverance]

See? There we have it, a perfect example. In this place, it's less an issue of "I must be the one to help" and more a matter of which helpful individual gets there first.

[martyrofduty]

It's less exhausting this way.

[payingfordeliverance]

And gives the adults more time for brat wrangling.

[martyrofduty]

There are a lot of brats to wrangle.

[aetherweaver]

... You've got me there, I was definitely one of the people patrolling when people were tempted to go back... and when I asked, there were definitely other people who came to hep with that.


I enjoy the theory of it more than being in an actual fight, most of the time. The theory of certain magicks, or looking for information about the way things work.

[payingfordeliverance]

Ah, now we are really getting somewhere. Even a year in, I know there are still a great many questions unanswered in both of those areas. You could do far worse for yourself, and for Trench, than helping to push things forward there. This place gives so much space and importance to the Archives and the Disciples and whatever else for a reason, you know?

[aetherweaver]

It does. My main issue is that I lack the right equipment for measuring the things I'm curious about, and I also lack the knowledge of how to make them.

[payingfordeliverance]

That I'm afraid I can't help with, as I'm a dabbler in magic at best. However, you might get in touch with one Stanford Pines. He does a great deal of research around here, and if he hasn't got a solution for you, I imagine he could put you in touch with someone who can.

He simply uses the name stanford on the network.

[aetherweaver]

I see. I appreciate that.

What's your name, so that I can tell him who sent me?

[payingfordeliverance]

I am called Xerxes Break. Most address me by my surname, but either suits me fine.

[aetherweaver]

Break, then. If that's what you're most comfortable with. I'm Nara'a Sunvara, by the way. ... Most people call me by my given name.

[payingfordeliverance]

Then, well met. I hope you are able to settle on a direction that suits you, especially with winter fast approaching. It is a long and difficult season, here.

[aetherweaver]

It is. I don't really like winter - where I grew up was perpetually temperate, being between a desert and a forest. Snow gets everywhere and I hate it.