[text] username: justanadventurer

[aetherweaver]

[He debates for a while if he wants to post this anonymously or not. He very nearly does, for fear of making people worried.]

[But he's trying to be better about his mental health, and if he can put his face to this then others can feel more comfortable talking about their problems, too.]

I was just wondering...

A lot of us are 'heroes' in our home worlds, or maybe 'chosen ones' or... basically we're expected to save the world or do something amazing.

How do you change from that to going to an everyday life? I've been trying to for months, but I can't shake the habit if expecting to solve every problem by myself - or nearly by myself, at least. ... It's nice to be regarded as a 'normal' person, but it's difficult to stop trying to be a 'hero'.

It's getting to be a problem, not knowing how to not take on too much. Does anyone have any tips?

[Now to hope Gaia misses this post...]

Comments

Vague Shadowbringers spoilers

[aetherweaver]

[Oh. Well. That's... that sure is a non-hero answer. In fairness it's what he asked for.]

I don't think I can just stop caring so easily. And in my world I kind of can't tell people to fuck off? I'm pretty much the only one people rely on. Which is its own problem, but not really a solvable one at the moment.

There's... complicated reasons for why I'm a hero. Both because of me and because of things that happened a long time ago. It's almost literally just part of my soul.

But here, I don't have to be. Or at least not relied on to the same degree. I won't deny that I feel good after helping other people, but even helping people where I have literally nothing to gain is something I feel compelled to do.

[burnitblack]

[well they do have a bit of history.]

sounds like a personal problem.

if ya feel "compelled" cause of some "soul-bound" reason, not really anythin ya can do.

cept learn how to ignore it. desensitizin yourself ain't that hard. ya just do it over and over again.

[aetherweaver]

[He doesn't want to desensitize himself, but he also doesn't want to drive himself nuts.]

I guess... I want to help people, but I want to have boundaries, too.

I just don't have much practice with setting those up.

[Crossing them by mistake? Sure. Having his own? No.]

[burnitblack]

[then he's gonna have to keep dealing with feeling stuff. real annoyin, ain't it.]

what kinda boundaries do ya want? start there.

[might as well begin with the simple ones. dabi's putting 500 yen down on nara'a not even knowing what boundaries he wants...] Text

[aetherweaver]

I'd like to be able to rest, for one. Take some days off of training and fighting. I know I have to keep my skills sharp here but it'd be nice if I didn't have to go running after every monster in the woods.

[burnitblack]

ya know how mental ya sound right now? "have" to go runnin off after monsters. no one's makin ya do that cept for yourself. and if ya can't say "no" to yourself, then you really got problems.

ya need someone to tie ya down. literally.

[aetherweaver]

I don't want them to hurt people...




Dabi is that an invitation or a threat? Sometimes I can't tell with you.

[burnitblack]

can't protect everyone. someone's gonna get hurt or die while you're stoppin this one. maybe ya stopped the lesser threat. how're you gonna know?


could be both. which one do ya want it to be?

cause i got chains and rope.

[aetherweaver]

I won't know, and it drives me up the wall a lot of the time. My inaction has caused death before. It's a lot to bear. Even if it's not something I should... my sisters always teased me for being too sensitive.


I mean if it's the former, I'm not opposed. It's been a while since someone tried to restrain me like that.

[burnitblack]

only way ya gonna be able to stop that is to quit carin so much. otherwise, you're gonna guilt yourself no matter what distraction you pick up.

what do any of these people deserve from you? ya don't owe them anythin. they didn't do shit for ya. unless you're doin this outta some pathological need cause ya can't make yourself feel "worth" somethin if people aren't gettin saved.


i wouldn't mind. but i don't wanna waste chain and rope if ya just gonna bust outta them.

[aetherweaver]

[... Well, he can't argue that. He does have self-worth issues, but he doesn't say that.]

How do you make yourself feel like you're 'worth something' in that case?


If it's for playtime then I'm not going to bust out of that stuff. I'm not dumb.

[burnitblack]

[he doesn't have to. it's pretty obvious. plenty of heroes have that underlying drive and don't like to admit it. cause it's selfish at the core.]

i got my ways. but that answer gets into my past and i ain't ready to tell ya bout that yet.


yeah that's the problem. see, i'd have to tie ya up and then keep ya there while some dumb trouble's goin on. it's called forced desensitization.

[aetherweaver]

That's fair.


.... Wait I thought we were talking about sex.

[burnitblack]

we're talkin about ways to get ya to stop carin so much and "havin" to be a hero all the damn time.

forget the reason ya posted?

[aetherweaver]

No, but I asked if the chains were an invitation and I was assuming... kinky shit.

[burnitblack]

i said 'yes' didn't i? ever heard of multitaskin?

[aetherweaver]

... Ah. A distraction. I see.

[He's not sure if he sees, but distracted is definitely what he is.]

I suppose it's worth a try...

[burnitblack]

so now we just gotta wait for somethin to fuck up.

[while he could probably orchestrate one, he has a fair idea that wouldn't prompt nara'a to accept the deal if HE was the one behind a burning build the miqo'te is supposed to ignore.

ironically amusing as that thought is.]

[aetherweaver]

Just wait a month and something will come up. That seems to be the pattern here.

[burnitblack]

uh-huh.

what other advice didja get?

[aetherweaver]

Work together with people, find a hobby... finding a hobby was a big one, it seems.

[burnitblack]

so ya basically gonna distract yourself from your heroic tendencies.

[aetherweaver]

It's the only real good idea I have so far. I can't not care about people, but I can try to do other things.

[burnitblack]

and ya gonna be able to do other things while your bleedin little heart's tellin ya someone's out there beggin for help?

[aetherweaver]

I don't know. This is all an experiment for me.