deernet | [text] username: justanadventurer

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[text] username: justanadventurer

[He debates for a while if he wants to post this anonymously or not. He very nearly does, for fear of making people worried.]

[But he's trying to be better about his mental health, and if he can put his face to this then others can feel more comfortable talking about their problems, too.]

I was just wondering...

A lot of us are 'heroes' in our home worlds, or maybe 'chosen ones' or... basically we're expected to save the world or do something amazing.

How do you change from that to going to an everyday life? I've been trying to for months, but I can't shake the habit if expecting to solve every problem by myself - or nearly by myself, at least. ... It's nice to be regarded as a 'normal' person, but it's difficult to stop trying to be a 'hero'.

It's getting to be a problem, not knowing how to not take on too much. Does anyone have any tips?

[Now to hope Gaia misses this post...]

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you are not the only person here helping others though

[ Even though Nara'a is good at helping. Very good. Chizuru will readily admit that. ]

i know it can be hard to let go even so
but if you think about that fact hard enough maybe it will feel like a slight relief when you decide to not help
or maybe you can get together with a bunch of people who want to help so you can always reach one of them as backup for when you already have a lot to do
do you think that might help

Edited 2022-09-19 19:09 (UTC)

I know I'm not. But you're right, it's hard to let go.

Maybe I should get more involved with Sanctuary or something. Or start my own outreach in a way. But while I know some people here, there's a lot of people I don't know yet...

do you think that is something that might help you

getting to know more people

[ Maybe Chizuru is just in turn trying to find out a way she can help him with this.. There's some real helpception going on here. ]

Maybe? I know there are a lot of people who do a lot of things that I haven't met before. I see people I don't know on the network sometimes.

... You'd think I'm a social butterfly with all the people I know, but I'm actually more of an introvert...

that is okay
a lot of people are introverts

[ If she was better at typing, she'd insert a lot of exclamation marks there, for emphasis.. But she's trying to get her point across in her own way, even though she may not be quite as capable here of putting the right energy into the words. ]

does it not just mean you might need a little bit of extra help
i do not mind introducing you to any of my friends in this place
they are all very kind people

I'd appreciate it. I... it's a little bit hard to make friends sometimes when all I want to do is hide behind a book a lot of the time.

I know a lot of people are introverts, it's just... asking for help is scary sometimes. Even for me.

do not worry
i understand
sometimes things like that can be scary but that is why there are friends to help you

[ Like her! Chizuru definitely considers them friends, after all. ]

have you ever met scorpia
we live together and she is one of the friendliest and kindest people i know
i have no doubts that she would love to meet you

I'm glad. :) (Look, it's a smile! Just tilt your head.)

I haven't, no. But I love meeting new people. New people always have new stories and new experiences to learn about!

[ .. huh, a smile?

Hold on, she does have to turn her head for a moment as per his instructions, because Chizuru hasn't encountered anything like this before.. But now she's turning her head and looking, she can kind of see that! How cute, a way to convey your happiness even over text like this..!!

It's definitely an exciting discovery, but she knows she has to save that excitement for a moment. Giving Nara'a a chance to make a new friendis way more important! ]

you should definitely meet her
she is very social so she is out and about a lot and it is really hard to miss her
after all she is pretty tall
and she also has two red pinchers for hands

[ Chizuru, honey, maybe you should start out with that last one if you want to really describe how Scorpia may stand out and be recognizable.. ]

Wait, like a crab? Interesting! I'll have to approach her if I see her.

To be honest I'm usually more awake at night... so I miss a lot of people.

[ Kind of like a crab, Chizuru thinks.

But it's not like she's ever seen a scorpion in real life, so it's not like she can correct him either. The important part is that he's got some idea of what Scorpia looks like so he can greet her sometime, after all! ]

at night
why

[ She figures she has to add the 'why', considering her lack of usage of question marks there.. ]

do you usually have trouble sleeping

Keepers of the Moon like me tend to be more active and hunt at night. It's just how I grew up. I've tried to adjust my schedule to when more people are awake but I still am more naturally awake at night.

I do have trouble sleeping though.

i am sorry
having trouble sleeping is never nice

[ Even if it's - in Nara'a's case - because of a condition that's a little more special than just straight up regular insomnia. After all, Chizuru had never even heard of this term before, so-- ]

what is a keeper of the moon though

[ Sure, he's one. But with only him in mind, it's hard for Chizuru to actively determine what exactly it means. ]

It's my subspecies of miqo'te. There's also the Seekers of the Sun that tend to operate more during the day. They look different too, but unless you know what to look for it's hard to tell for most other species.

I'm not going to lie, nightmares suck. But there's not a lot I can do about them.

[ Keepers of the Moon, Seekers of the Sun.. Such pretty names, Chizuru thinks. They almost sound a little mystical, or something like that..

But it's the last part that draws her attention more - especially with how much she always worries about others, and wants to find ways to help them. Even though she, too, isn't sure if there truly is something you can do about nightmares. But.. ]

my father always said that you have nightmares at night because your mind is busy trying to deal with everything that happens to you during your waking life
i am not sure if that is true but i do not think my father would lie to me about that

[ Unlike about.. other things.. ]

maybe if you talked about your nightmares or the things thart happen in them while you are awake you might not have to deal with them as much while you are sleeping

It would make sense. But I also don't want to scare other people with my nightmares... or burden them.

what if i told you that i would not be burdened by your nightmares
because i would not be
if someone else hearing about them might help you then i would gladly listen to you all day long if it were necessary

[ It's better than poor Nara'a just struggling with said nightmares all by himself, after all. ]

Chizuru...

You're very kind but I don't wan tto worry you even more than I already have.

[ There's a slight pause.

Chizuru understands the sentiment, after all. It's one she uses all the time when it comes to the people she cares about - but she's always been the type who is fine with applying that sentiment herself, but never liking it when other people feel that way.

Even if it's a little hypocritical. ]

why not
it is not a problem for me to worry about you
i just do that because i care about you

I want you to be happy.

And... some of the nightmares require a lot of explaining. They're interesting stories but... also horrifying.

I don't want to give you nightmares, too.

it is alright
i know that i do not seem like it but i have seen a lot of things as well

[ She has nightmares too, though she doesn't say that part. She doesn't want to make this about herself. ]

please trust me when i say i think i can handle it
i will probably feel very sad yes
but i can bear that
especially if it will make you feel even a little bit lighter

[On his side he sighs. He's... afraid to share these nightmares - Gaia would understand, if not be the most sympathetic. But for her he'd have to explain the whole story of the First...]

[Ah, well.]

I appreciate that. ... All right.

The next time we meet up I can tell you. We should get tea or something to eat, since it's a bit of a long tale. At least for my most frequent nightmare.

[ Chizuru isn't too sure whether she really expected Nara'a to agree and be okay with all of this. A lot of the men she knows back home probably wouldn't have been, and then she'd have to decide whether it's important enough for her to push harder or not..

But this makes it easier, and she feels genuine gratitude wash over her. ]

thank you so much
it means so much to me that you trust me enough to be alright with this

we can sit down over tea sometime soon
whenever you feel up to actually talking about all of it
we can take it easy and do it all at your pace

[ Because that's important too. She doesn't want to push Nara'a out of his comfort zone, especially when talking about something that's sure to make him feel very vulnerable. ]

[He knows he needs to be better at being open. He's just not very good at letting others carry his load... but he's trying, at least.]

I appreciate that, Chizuru. I just want to make sure this is as easy as possible on the both of us.

I'm not used to talking about my nightmares. Even with my fellow Scions, I just... don't. I don't like worrying people, especially people who have also gone through some similarly rough situations.

that just means we have to try
i understand it being hard but that is why we can try to start slowly
or maybe find ways that make it a little bit more comfortable for you to speak about it

even if it may take a while to find the right way to do it i am sure we will find it
so please do not worry about it at all
i am your friend so i am here to help you with it all

there is nothing in this world you cannot figure out somehow

[ Or so she'd like to believe. ]

so we will figure it out together

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