[text] username: justanadventurer

[aetherweaver]

[He debates for a while if he wants to post this anonymously or not. He very nearly does, for fear of making people worried.]

[But he's trying to be better about his mental health, and if he can put his face to this then others can feel more comfortable talking about their problems, too.]

I was just wondering...

A lot of us are 'heroes' in our home worlds, or maybe 'chosen ones' or... basically we're expected to save the world or do something amazing.

How do you change from that to going to an everyday life? I've been trying to for months, but I can't shake the habit if expecting to solve every problem by myself - or nearly by myself, at least. ... It's nice to be regarded as a 'normal' person, but it's difficult to stop trying to be a 'hero'.

It's getting to be a problem, not knowing how to not take on too much. Does anyone have any tips?

[Now to hope Gaia misses this post...]

Comments

[aetherweaver]

[Okay, that gets a laugh out of him.]

I do have one that I keep tabs on. But it's trying to take a break from the chronic heroism that I'm having trouble with.

[survivalthroughhate]

Learn to be more selfish. Think of yourself a bit more and stop focusing on what you can give everyone else. Because you can give and give and give and it will still never be enough sometimes.

[Look, he's friends with Usagi and Obi-Wan, he knows chronic heroism is a big problem if left alone for too long.]

[aetherweaver]

People keep saying I should be more selfish. It's... hard, when I'm so used to helping people even when it's to my detriment.

But you're right, it never feels like it's enough.

[survivalthroughhate]

Consider it this way. You will be of no use to anyone if you burn out from stretching yourself too thin. Taking care of yourself first means you can take care of others later.

[aetherweaver]

I know that's true. It goes back to just... living in the woods, like how I grew up. You need to do what you have to in order to survive.

It's just hard to think of it in those terms when it's dealing with other people.

[survivalthroughhate]

You're too soft-hearted for your own good. Someday, I am going to find a way to transfer my natural selfishness to other Sleepers, and then you all can finally get some rest.

[Maul doesn't get how some people can care for everyone all the time. He only cares for about twenty people total and that's exhausting enough as it is.]

[aetherweaver]

I suppose that might be helpful. My very nature is to wander and help people... it's hard to change who you are on a fundamental level.

I don't want to not help people... but it would be nice if I could find a way to not jump at everything that comes by.

[survivalthroughhate]

It's hard but not impossible to change. I speak from personal experience there. You just have to want to change for yourself instead of anyone or anything else.

Start by taking time for yourself every day. Do you meditate?

[aetherweaver]

I don't, not really. Unless you call training a sort of meditation, since I'm in tune with my body and the aether around it.

[survivalthroughhate]

Fighting and training can be a form of meditation.

[No, really, he's got a T-shirt that says that and everything.]

There's many kinds but it boils down to being able to clear your mind, focusing on nothing and everything all at the same time.

[aetherweaver]

That's pretty much what I have to do when I channel aether for my attacks. Instability can cause... explosions. And not the fun kind.

[survivalthroughhate]

Well, do your best not to blow yourself or anyone else here up. That will not make you many friends among the Sleepers.

[aetherweaver]

I haven't had any unintentional explosions in a long while, though I thank you for your concern.

I did lose my eyebrows when I was first learning how to channel fire aether, though.

[survivalthroughhate]

Now that makes for an amusing image. Did you look eternally surprised for the next few months?

[aetherweaver]

I did, yes. I was subject to a lot of teasing by my family for it, too.

[survivalthroughhate]

As was their right. Should have just gotten them tattooed back on. No way of losing them again then!

[aetherweaver]

I've thought about tattoos before, but I feel like I'm too much of an indecisive person to put something on myself permanently.

Other than the scar on my nose, but that was an accident.

[survivalthroughhate]

I didn't get a choice in mine. Nightkin are tattooed by their mothers from the time when they are born. But I wear them proudly. My master took much from me but he could never take the part of my past that was etched into my very skin.

[aetherweaver]

We don't have tattoos, but Keepers of the Moon tend to wear war paint. I usually do - the markings around my eyes aren't actually natural. They're an offering to Menphina the Lover... I suppose I do it more out of habit now than anything else. But I wear it proudly, because it's part of my culture. So I can understand in some ways the importance of visibly wearing your history.

[survivalthroughhate]

Ah, I thought those were scars or something of that nature around your eyes. Yes, for Nightkin, our tattoos are an important part of our culture. Each member of our tribe is done up differently so no two end up alike.

[aetherweaver]

That's very interesting... do the tattoos themselves have specific meanings?

[survivalthroughhate]

Yes. If you know how to interpret them, they can tell information. Things like where and when a person was born, what tribe they belong to, and basic personality traits. Hence why my brother and I have very different tattoos despite having the same parents.

[aetherweaver]

I see. Most of the markings on a Keeper of the Moon miqo'te are offerings to Menphina the Lover, goddess of the moon. There's no specific meaning to each stroke, they're just traditional.

I think I like your individual ones more. They're very interesting and help you look quite dashing.

[survivalthroughhate]

Do you still pray to your goddess here even though a different one inhabits the moon?

You flatter me. Most people don't think as such regarding my tattoos. But thank you.

6.1 spoilers

[aetherweaver]

I don't. And I don't really bother praying to the Twelve much anymore - I'll still use their names in everyday speech like 'Twelve damn it' or 'oh gods', but I'm... well.

I've fought some of the Twelve. Including the goddess of the sun, and the one known as the Destroyer.

Really? I think they're very cool. Cultural identity is something very special that can never be truly taken away. Even if people try... it always survives.