(TEXT) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

hiya!! so i just finished my house. im now living alone and drinking a nice cool beverage. aka bottle of wine.
rly living the good life.

SO
then i thought since im feeling prtty good. why not offer my services to all of u poor saps?
now READ CAREFULLY!!!

this is a ONE TIME OFFER from me to u. an engerinner like myself needs to fix things and solve probs. thats just waht we do. if we dont we will go bonkers and u dont want to see me go there. 🤣🤣🤣

oh and this is free of charge btw. wild right? im just feelin THAT generous.

or drunk.

anyway.

u got a prob? ill give u my advice. itll be 1000000000% honest the truth and all truths.

u can be anonymous to hide ur shame or not. CHOICE IS URS! 🐵💥🦈

Comments

[martyrofduty]

I cuddle. I'm not a cuddler. You wanted to know what works. I'm practical.

Helps to trust whoever you're with. Omens can count. That's not a longterm solution, no.

[fogsong]

My omen is a butterfly and I barely like hugging even those I trust. Touch isn't exactly an easy thing for me unless it's my parents.

[martyrofduty]

There's ways to work with that. Any or all of them might make you want to punch me in the face. I'll take that risk if you will.

[fogsong]

Fucking hell.

You know what? Yeah, sure, why not. I'm down to give it a try.

[martyrofduty]

Your omen learns how to be larger/sturdy enough to cuddle.
You cuddle the omens of people you trust.
Snow convinces an animal to cuddle with you.
Learn how to become a squid, along with someone you trust. Squid cuddles.
Adopt another (non-replacement) parent.

[fogsong]

...some of those aren't bad but I have to say squid cuddling is getting a big, fat ass no from me. I'd like to avoid ever having to be a squid again.

[martyrofduty]

I thought you might hate them all. Only 20% is great. Even if it doesn't take dying to be a squid?

[fogsong]

Well, I'm not a huge fan of any of them but I hate the squid thing. Don't care if it doesn't require dying, it gives me the heebies.

Have you squid cuddled?

[martyrofduty]

You'd probably have thought of them, if you were a fan.

Ish, but death was involved, so memories are hazy.

[fogsong]

Shit. That sucks.

[martyrofduty]

It's fine. Death doesn't scare me.

[fogsong]

It doesn't really scare me either. Well, not me dying. I don't want the people I care about to die, though. I know it's not permanent but it's still... it's still dying. Might as well avoid it if you can.

[martyrofduty]

Trauma is trauma. No point in meaningless deaths. They wouldn't want you to die either.

[fogsong]

I know. It's why I don't take a bunch of unnecessary risks.

[martyrofduty]

Smart.