(TEXT) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

hiya!! so i just finished my house. im now living alone and drinking a nice cool beverage. aka bottle of wine.
rly living the good life.

SO
then i thought since im feeling prtty good. why not offer my services to all of u poor saps?
now READ CAREFULLY!!!

this is a ONE TIME OFFER from me to u. an engerinner like myself needs to fix things and solve probs. thats just waht we do. if we dont we will go bonkers and u dont want to see me go there. 🤣🤣🤣

oh and this is free of charge btw. wild right? im just feelin THAT generous.

or drunk.

anyway.

u got a prob? ill give u my advice. itll be 1000000000% honest the truth and all truths.

u can be anonymous to hide ur shame or not. CHOICE IS URS! 🐵💥🦈

Comments

[inkedspell]

Food tastes better with hands if they aren't covered in grease.
Worst aftertaste ever.

[opheliac]

nO WAY adds flavor.

[inkedspell]

EW.

It's like rubbing a rotten banana peel on your teeth. So slimy.

[opheliac]

i bet ure just sxaggerating

[inkedspell]

Do you even brush your teeth enough to know the difference?

[opheliac]

i should kill u for saying that.
not now.
way later.

[inkedspell]

Not judging. We all skip a day or two here or there.

Not garnishing your food with gear lubricants does help though.

[opheliac]

now that sounds icky the way you said that.

[inkedspell]

I'm sure there are more edible lubes if you really want them.

[opheliac]

curiosity is now peaked.

[inkedspell]

There's a shop in Cellar Door with a funny sign in a very distinct shape. You'll know it when you see it. Check there.

[Vi is going to kill her, but maybe she doesn't care. Day 5 of one hour of sleep will do that.]

[opheliac]

oookkaayyyyyy?

[inkedspell]

Ask the clerk. They can get you plenty of edible lube. Flavors and everything. Might even try to sell you things to use it with.

[Yep, Vi is going to kill her.]

[opheliac]

sounds like a plan! i'll hit there tmw.

[inkedspell]

Have fun.

[opheliac]

it better be fun or ill come after u for wasting my time! 😛

[inkedspell]

I promise a new experience. Fun is what you make it.

[opheliac]

Jinx got tired of texting. HELLO!! I like fun, too.

What's your favorite type of fun new friend?

[inkedspell]

[Uh. Shit. Is that a good thing or a bad thing.]

Building. I like making things and powering them with magic.

[opheliac]

Oh! Will you build me something?

[inkedspell]

I do take requests on occasion.

[opheliac]

Would you build me a swing?

[inkedspell]

The self-moving kind or a tire swing that hangs off a tree?

[opheliac]

!!!
Oh no! Now I can't decide.

[inkedspell]

Have to pick one. Jinx and I already have a swap going on. She's gonna rack up the favors if I keep making her things.