(TEXT) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

hiya!! so i just finished my house. im now living alone and drinking a nice cool beverage. aka bottle of wine.
rly living the good life.

SO
then i thought since im feeling prtty good. why not offer my services to all of u poor saps?
now READ CAREFULLY!!!

this is a ONE TIME OFFER from me to u. an engerinner like myself needs to fix things and solve probs. thats just waht we do. if we dont we will go bonkers and u dont want to see me go there. 🤣🤣🤣

oh and this is free of charge btw. wild right? im just feelin THAT generous.

or drunk.

anyway.

u got a prob? ill give u my advice. itll be 1000000000% honest the truth and all truths.

u can be anonymous to hide ur shame or not. CHOICE IS URS! 🐵💥🦈

Comments

[opheliac]

what counts as normal convo?
sit around at the table and chat about the weather?

[ananym]

That is just an ice-breaker. Asking questions is a good place to start, but I would not have pictured you to care for wine.

I would ask favourite hobbies or interests, for instance.

[opheliac]

but we've talked about that right?
or we didnt
i cant rly remember our first convo rn.

[ananym]

We did talk about your art and attachment to explosions.

You can't remember?

[opheliac]

no b/c im drunk.

(at least she's honest.)

[ananym]

[ ah. ]

What brought it on?

[opheliac]

CELEBRATING!

[ananym]

So you built your own house?

[opheliac]

yep. its a cool treehouse.

[ananym]

I don't think I've gotten around to a house, personally.

[opheliac]

do u want see mine? i can step outside rly quick and take apic!

[ananym]

By all means, share it.

5 mins later;

[opheliac]

(the next message he will receive will be an image attachment of her treehouse.)

[ananym]

How lovely. It is very you.

[opheliac]

awwww thnx!!! maybe u can visit sometime. check out the place.

[ananym]

I would be honoured.

[opheliac]

YAY! so wait. does this mean u see me as ur friend now?

[ananym]

I should think so.

[opheliac]

GREAT! i cant remember when i last had a human friend
oh wait
ur a vamp
okokok so ive never HAD a vamp friend. so it's pretty exciting stuff!

[ananym]

I am half human. That should count for something.

[opheliac]

def counts.
also i think i drunk too fast.
im letting my omen txt for me now.

[ananym]

Aren't you the multi-tasker.

[opheliac]

I guess so.
Also Hello! I am Mr.Bananas. It's nice to meet you. I'll do the typing from here on out.
Personally, I think she should sleep and not strain her eyes on the omni. Wouldn't you agree?

[ananym]

It's not a terrible idea.

[opheliac]

What is your omen?