(TEXT) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

hiya!! so i just finished my house. im now living alone and drinking a nice cool beverage. aka bottle of wine.
rly living the good life.

SO
then i thought since im feeling prtty good. why not offer my services to all of u poor saps?
now READ CAREFULLY!!!

this is a ONE TIME OFFER from me to u. an engerinner like myself needs to fix things and solve probs. thats just waht we do. if we dont we will go bonkers and u dont want to see me go there. 🤣🤣🤣

oh and this is free of charge btw. wild right? im just feelin THAT generous.

or drunk.

anyway.

u got a prob? ill give u my advice. itll be 1000000000% honest the truth and all truths.

u can be anonymous to hide ur shame or not. CHOICE IS URS! 🐵💥🦈

Comments

[opheliac]

Affection DOES go a long way you know.

[icanhearscreams]

I'm not really fond of affection myself.

[opheliac]

How come? It feels nice!! I enjoy hugging.

[icanhearscreams]

It's cloying and smothering. It makes me feel trapped.

[opheliac]

How about loose hugs?

[icanhearscreams]

Not really. I don't know why people like them so much.

[opheliac]

its a way to express love!

[icanhearscreams]

Love? I don't need something like that.

[opheliac]

Yes you do. Everyone needs love.
And guess what? Mr. Bananas loves you. 🐵🤎

[icanhearscreams]

That's dumb and also not true.

[opheliac]

I LOVE EVERYONE!

[icanhearscreams]

Good for you. I don't feel the same.

[opheliac]

That's okay! Just know someone loves and cares about you.