video | un: sharpshooter (forward-dated a few days) [CW: NSFW?]

[azurestar]

[The video opens to Lance with cat ears (again), a tail swishes behind him. There's the sound of painful squelching as Keith off screen goes through some more gruesome transforming and he winces, looking over at him. It seems to have been mild this time at least, and Lance goes for the rambling jokes because that's how you deal with someone you care about going through that, right?]

Okay, soooo who here's never done the horizontal tango? Made the beast with two backs, knocked some boots, jumped some bones- [there is the sound of shifting of bone and he hums, rethinking] Forget that last one, but by now if you don't know what I mean, here's a few more for you: a little afternoon delight-

[Keith groaned a bit, his teeth audibly clenched as he scolded a, "LANCE!" from the background, though that didn't seem to deter the Blue Paladin from continuing.]

-pounded the punani pavement, shook the sheets, the old in-out, shot the meat rocket into the sausage hole, bam-bam in the ham, rolled in the hay, boppin' squiddles, cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket. Fucking hell, made whoopee!

Seriously, I could keep going, but if your answer is 'never done that, what are you even talking about', some guy in Gaze told me your blood cures this whole- [he gestures at himself and then glances off camera at the sound of a grunt from Keith.] mess. Noooot that I wanna cure myself, I can take it, but some people I know need it and aren't gonna ask because their heads are nothing but dumb hair and no brains.

[A bit of an unhinged laugh to himself/some internal conversation as he looks down and to the side. There's a growl from the background, possibly from Keith? (Definitely from Keith.) Then he jerks himself back.] Yeah, anyway, if you fit the bill call me before my idiot b-teammate turns into something that eats my face. I'm too pretty for that.

[There may have been a time when Lance knew virgin blood was blood that hadn't been used in a ritual, but the draugr's fucked with his already recently fucked memory. So enjoy.]

Comments

Text: UN: Idaten

[brains_beef_and_brows]

[Honestly.... That is far too many ways to ask if ask if someone had pitched woo .]


Are you sure that virgin blood is the way to cure this and not just some ploy to out themselves?

[azurestar]

[And it's not even the tip of the iceberg.]

The guy I asked seemed like 100% positive… okay, maybe more like 95%? Whatever, man. Being a virgin's nothing to be ashamed of, anyway.

[brains_beef_and_brows]

I do not recall ever stating the fact that I was a virgin nor the fact that I was ashamed to be one in the first place. There's nothing wrong with one that chooses to put their career before romantic pursuit.

[azurestar]

[Holy defensive overreactions, batman. Lance is familiar because he's been the same way over his own insecurities. What would Keith do…? Ah yes, state the obvious and act dense.]

Uh, I never said you were a virgin, dude.