video | un: sharpshooter (forward-dated a few days) [CW: NSFW?]

[azurestar]

[The video opens to Lance with cat ears (again), a tail swishes behind him. There's the sound of painful squelching as Keith off screen goes through some more gruesome transforming and he winces, looking over at him. It seems to have been mild this time at least, and Lance goes for the rambling jokes because that's how you deal with someone you care about going through that, right?]

Okay, soooo who here's never done the horizontal tango? Made the beast with two backs, knocked some boots, jumped some bones- [there is the sound of shifting of bone and he hums, rethinking] Forget that last one, but by now if you don't know what I mean, here's a few more for you: a little afternoon delight-

[Keith groaned a bit, his teeth audibly clenched as he scolded a, "LANCE!" from the background, though that didn't seem to deter the Blue Paladin from continuing.]

-pounded the punani pavement, shook the sheets, the old in-out, shot the meat rocket into the sausage hole, bam-bam in the ham, rolled in the hay, boppin' squiddles, cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket. Fucking hell, made whoopee!

Seriously, I could keep going, but if your answer is 'never done that, what are you even talking about', some guy in Gaze told me your blood cures this whole- [he gestures at himself and then glances off camera at the sound of a grunt from Keith.] mess. Noooot that I wanna cure myself, I can take it, but some people I know need it and aren't gonna ask because their heads are nothing but dumb hair and no brains.

[A bit of an unhinged laugh to himself/some internal conversation as he looks down and to the side. There's a growl from the background, possibly from Keith? (Definitely from Keith.) Then he jerks himself back.] Yeah, anyway, if you fit the bill call me before my idiot b-teammate turns into something that eats my face. I'm too pretty for that.

[There may have been a time when Lance knew virgin blood was blood that hadn't been used in a ritual, but the draugr's fucked with his already recently fucked memory. So enjoy.]

Comments

[azurestar]

[He bites the inside of his cheek and looks at her with as much of a dry pokerface as he can muster. But his mouth is visibly struggling not to smile.]

Th-this is serious business, Vira!

[onerthes]

O...f course it is.

[She was still shakily laughing as she came back into view, glancing over the threshold of her table to snicker at him. This woman was over 300, but sometimes... she was an overblown teenager.]

Dare I ask why you need virgin blood?

[azurestar]

[He snorts and chokes on laughter as hears Keith again. He's been trying to use the humor as a distraction for them both… mostly himself. At his core, he's worried and scared.]

Well it's like I said, the guy told me it'll cure Keith of whatever curse got put on him.

[onerthes]

Ahah. Well, if it works, then it's worth it. Dare I ask what the curse is that's occupied poor Keith? Or are we keeping that at least a little private?

[azurestar]

Yeah, but some people're saying it's a different kind of virgin blood. Ugh, this is so stupid. And he's turning into a dragon or something.

[onerthes]

Oh! That kind of ... I rarely think of that sort of virginity. [She laughs.][Now is not the time for terrible jokes.]

[azurestar]

…Of course you don't. [He says it flatly, but there's a curl to one corner of his lips. Yes, he is in on the joke.]

[onerthes]

I've never even understood the idea of why virgin blood would actually be better. It's not like you have some weird sort of mystical energy inside of you that gets released at that point, is it?

[azurestar]

Nah… at least I don't think so? [Now he's legitimately wondering. Because there have been vampires that came to Deerington who drank virgin blood because it was better, so…] There's gotta be some expert in sex energy somewhere in this city.

[onerthes]

... how did we get into a discussion on the merits of sexual energy in magical castings? I blame myself somehow, but you are so not helping.

...

Also. Look up the kama sutra sometime. I suspect it might help. it was required reading when I was at the Sparrow.

[azurestar]

Hey! It's a totally valid thing to talk about!

…

I uh, know the kama sutra. [He clears his throat.] Did a short stint at the Sparrow too…

[onerthes]

I...
...

I... remember that, actually. [Ahem. Fuck. The sudden reminder 'we totally did it didn't we?'] I meant to apologize. I think we were both not quite ourselves that night.

[azurestar]

[He actually has a vague memory of maybe talking to her after? His memory has been really heavily messed with though, so he pushes it aside and shakes his head.]

D-don't worry about it. We… totally weren't.

[It… wasn't bad at least.]

[onerthes]

Thanks. I just remembered that I never apologized properly. Ah well, at least we're in control of ourselves here and now.

And we share this lovely memory of that place. It really wasn't a bad place to work.