video | un: sharpshooter (forward-dated a few days) [CW: NSFW?]

[azurestar]

[The video opens to Lance with cat ears (again), a tail swishes behind him. There's the sound of painful squelching as Keith off screen goes through some more gruesome transforming and he winces, looking over at him. It seems to have been mild this time at least, and Lance goes for the rambling jokes because that's how you deal with someone you care about going through that, right?]

Okay, soooo who here's never done the horizontal tango? Made the beast with two backs, knocked some boots, jumped some bones- [there is the sound of shifting of bone and he hums, rethinking] Forget that last one, but by now if you don't know what I mean, here's a few more for you: a little afternoon delight-

[Keith groaned a bit, his teeth audibly clenched as he scolded a, "LANCE!" from the background, though that didn't seem to deter the Blue Paladin from continuing.]

-pounded the punani pavement, shook the sheets, the old in-out, shot the meat rocket into the sausage hole, bam-bam in the ham, rolled in the hay, boppin' squiddles, cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket. Fucking hell, made whoopee!

Seriously, I could keep going, but if your answer is 'never done that, what are you even talking about', some guy in Gaze told me your blood cures this whole- [he gestures at himself and then glances off camera at the sound of a grunt from Keith.] mess. Noooot that I wanna cure myself, I can take it, but some people I know need it and aren't gonna ask because their heads are nothing but dumb hair and no brains.

[A bit of an unhinged laugh to himself/some internal conversation as he looks down and to the side. There's a growl from the background, possibly from Keith? (Definitely from Keith.) Then he jerks himself back.] Yeah, anyway, if you fit the bill call me before my idiot b-teammate turns into something that eats my face. I'm too pretty for that.

[There may have been a time when Lance knew virgin blood was blood that hadn't been used in a ritual, but the draugr's fucked with his already recently fucked memory. So enjoy.]

Comments

[entreats]

I have no idea how often people have sex here!

[ It's something she just.. doesn't think about.

At all.

So the idea that Lance over here is apparently regularly getting it on is pretty wild to her. ]

Do people feel the need to get it on even in a place where they're murdered almost every other day?

[azurestar]

Oooh yeah. [Lance nods.] There's nothing like impending death to get people going.

[Definitely speaking from experience here. Though, more so back home when he was fighting a war and probably going to actually die every day.]

Even more when you know you're not coming back.

[entreats]

[ There's a moment where Ange pauses.

As if something actually managed to leave Ange Ushiromiya speechless for a moment. Needing a moment to sort out her thoughts, and then saying: ]

I guess you do learn something new every day.

[ She sure is! Right now!! ]

That sounds like an awful lot of effort. [ Getting it on when in mortal danger, that is - not learning something new. ]

[azurestar]

[Lance tilts his head, not sure what she means. Having sex at all takes effort, why would it be more if you're getting busy during a war or in a dangerous place?]

Whaddaya mean? It's the same amount of effort as any other time.

[entreats]

Yeah, but you already have so much other stuff to think about and do.

[ Granted.

Ange doesn't know a single thing about fitting sexy times into one's schedule. She sounds so genuine in this moment too, only making it more obvious. ]

Adding yet something else on top of all that just sounds like a bother to me. [ There's a faint pause, before she sighs and admits: ] Though I guess it's different for other people.

[ You know, people who actually enjoy sex. ]