un: trienemybest; video

[droptheious]

[The video feed opens in Varian's creepy basement lab where health and safety regulations go to die. The boy himself isn't looking that great, his skin has a grey-ish tinge to it and he looks more exhausted than usual. But that's fine, he's fine. He turns the camera around to take in some sapphires on his workbench. Some are soaking in various chemical substances, some are under a microscope, some are in various steampunk-y machines: it's clear some testing has been going on. ]

So, Flynn was kind enough to give me some of the crystals that grew on his corpse during...whatever weird new thing death is here. [He doesn't sound as excited about this as his usual projects and anyone who knows about his deeply unfortunate past will know why.] I have experience in creepy, magical death rocks -no...no I'm not going to elaborate on that- so I decided to study them. They seem to be crystalising the actual cells of the body- so not just a separate coating. I also found traces of warmblood within the crystals themselves, which I think is what Flynn is? A-anyway, it seems they're working on a cellular level, like they're what jumpstarts the reversal of the cell degeneration after death- so- so it's possible they're what reverses then entire process.

Anyway, moral of the story is, they're probably super important in resurrecting people so maybe don't mess with the process when it's happening? Of course, without having any other samples to compare this to, it's all conjecture right now.

[A beat, he turns the camera back to himself, grimacing.]

Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Please don't take that as encouragement to get yourselves killed in the name of science.

[Another beat, then he waves a hand airily.]

Thaaaaaat said, this is October, so statistically, there's a high chance that a not-insignificant portion of the population will be dead by the end of the month. So...if you wanna donate your death crystals for science then, that would be less...morally grey. Probably? Probably.

Comments

[fusrodaaaah]

...


Wh... but. But they could die?

[droptheious]

They could! I agree! It's so so dumb to want to do that. But some people are just like that.

[fusrodaaaah]

But -

But that's the opposite of what they're supposed to do!

[droptheious]

I know, right! People just sometimes do the opposite of what makes sense because they're completely crazy!

[fusrodaaaah]

That... um.

That is why I like... alchemy. No one dies.

[Unless he makes a poison, or people go after rare ingredients in far off... lands... hm.]

[droptheious]

Not unless there's some horrible lab accident anyway! And most of the time it keeps innocent bystanders safe!

[fusrodaaaah]

... or necromancers.

Necromancers ruin everything.

[droptheious]

Ugh, I haven't met any, but just from what I've heard about them, I agree. Why mess around with dead things? Yeesh.

[fusrodaaaah]

Y-yeah they're... they're awful. And everywhere.

I don't - I don't know. They just do...

[droptheious]

I guess there's always plenty of corpses around to use? Like...buried and whatever? But it's still creepy. No one wants that, Necromancers.

[fusrodaaaah]

But... eugh.

They're supposed to stay buried. And... not. Walking.

[droptheious]

I completely agree. Just...leave them where they are. But nooooo.

[fusrodaaaah]

It's - it's not worth it.

It's bad magic. And bad alchemy ingredients.

[droptheious]

I mean, it's a waste of good alchemy if you really think about it. It's just making a mess of everything.

[fusrodaaaah]

N... no. It's... it doesn't make anything good.

It just. It makes poison. Or... necromancy potions.

[droptheious]

So they make more potions to do more necromancy? Sheesh.

[fusrodaaaah]

Y-yeah.


Bonemeal is. Um. Made of skeletons. Necromancers use... human ones.

[droptheious]

Ughhhhhhh. I mean, okay yeah, Fern collects bones but he doesn't use them for magic or anything. And he definitely doesn't raise the dead with them.

[fusrodaaaah]

Y-yes. They um.

They use... human bones. But you can use any kind. I don't... like to make my own. But um. Fish bonemeal is... is what I have.

[So please don't wig out on him if you see a jar labeled BONEMEAL in his stuff, Varian.]

[droptheious]

Ohhhhh that's fine. We have that for composting! Fish bones. It was Luca's idea to try and get better soil.

[For once, he won't be a judge little shit! ]

[fusrodaaaah]

O-oh! Yes! And um.

Leaves too. They do good - eggshells. That stuff, too.

[droptheious]

Oh yeah! We used eggshells back home, for the farms. You know, I bet seaweed would be a good choice too.

[fusrodaaaah]

Y-yes. It um. It would be.

And it's good. For snacks.

[droptheious]

You know, I've never really eaten it before? What does it taste like?

[fusrodaaaah]

[There is a lengthy... lengthy pause.]



Green.

And salt.