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un: trienemybest; video

[The video feed opens in Varian's creepy basement lab where health and safety regulations go to die. The boy himself isn't looking that great, his skin has a grey-ish tinge to it and he looks more exhausted than usual. But that's fine, he's fine. He turns the camera around to take in some sapphires on his workbench. Some are soaking in various chemical substances, some are under a microscope, some are in various steampunk-y machines: it's clear some testing has been going on. ]

So, Flynn was kind enough to give me some of the crystals that grew on his corpse during...whatever weird new thing death is here. [He doesn't sound as excited about this as his usual projects and anyone who knows about his deeply unfortunate past will know why.] I have experience in creepy, magical death rocks -no...no I'm not going to elaborate on that- so I decided to study them. They seem to be crystalising the actual cells of the body- so not just a separate coating. I also found traces of warmblood within the crystals themselves, which I think is what Flynn is? A-anyway, it seems they're working on a cellular level, like they're what jumpstarts the reversal of the cell degeneration after death- so- so it's possible they're what reverses then entire process.

Anyway, moral of the story is, they're probably super important in resurrecting people so maybe don't mess with the process when it's happening? Of course, without having any other samples to compare this to, it's all conjecture right now.

[A beat, he turns the camera back to himself, grimacing.]

Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Please don't take that as encouragement to get yourselves killed in the name of science.

[Another beat, then he waves a hand airily.]

Thaaaaaat said, this is October, so statistically, there's a high chance that a not-insignificant portion of the population will be dead by the end of the month. So...if you wanna donate your death crystals for science then, that would be less...morally grey. Probably? Probably.

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[Space Dad, you can't ignore it forever.]

Okay. It's about time you knew anyway.

[He sincerely doubts Shiro would ever turn him away for his past, but his worries about that happening eventually will never really go away.]

So in my world, there were two powerful pieces of magic. The Sundrop and the Moonstone. The Sundrop fell into a flower, and it had the power to heal. Years ago, when our queen was sick and pregnant, the flower was used to heal her. The princess born from that had magical hair- that's Rapunzel. I don't know if you ever came across her when she showed up here? Like 70 feet of magical hair- hard to miss.

...A lot of other stuff happened between that, but what you need to know is she had that power. And the Moonstone was always meant to be joined with the Sundrop. It...was sending out these unbreakable magical rocks to find her. They were growing everywhere, destroying my village. Rapunzel promised to help me resolve the problem but I...tried to do something on my own.

[Bold of you to assume he can't.]

And... these magic rocks are the 'magical death rocks'?

[Look, he can tell there's a lot more, but hey, he'll hold off real questions until Varian is done.]

[Space Dad, no. ]

Yes and no. Part of the problem, anyway. I created a solution to try and break down the rocks- but they created something else, this...unbreakable amber. My dad had forbidden me from messing with them, because he...knew more than he was letting on. Anyway, he- he saw me make this and saw the solution was growing out of control. He pushed me out of the way but got stuck in the amber itself. It started encasing him.

[Something burned into Varian's memory even years after the fact now. ]

I couldn't stop it, but I knew Rapunzel had a connection, so I went to the capital to get her help. But the kingdom was in a state of emergency- there was a blizzard that was destroying the city and she couldn't come. The guards thought I was attacking her when I begged her to help me and kicked me out. I went home but dad was fully encased by then.

I knew I wasn't getting help at the palace, so I decided I needed to get access to what was left of the flower- see if it had any magic left in it to use to save him.

I... I'm sorry, Varian. [About your dad. What else can you say to something like that? Taking the fall for someone else was nothing new to Shiro, but, this is the other side of it. The people left behind.]

[What he was supposed to be avoiding.]

And... did it?

[Something tells him he won't like the answer. That it won't be the answer he's hoping to hear. Since when does anything go the way they hope?]

It's going to get worse.

[A soft warning- Shiro might not be so eager with his sorries after he hears everything.]

No. I drugged the guards with truth serum to find out where it was. Tricked Rapunzel into helping me steal it, even if I knew we were committing treason by doing it. Once I got it, I left her to get caught by the guards. I used her. And none of it worked, all the power was in her, the flower did nothing.

[This is definitely a might as well keep digging sort of scenario. He's kind of glad this is over text- he's worried he'd lose his nerve saying it to Shiro. To see the disappointment in his face. ]

I'd burned my bridges with her, but I was desperate to save my dad. I knew I needed to get her to my lab so I did what I knew would bring her to me. I distracted the guards and I kidnapped her mom, the queen. I knew she'd do anything for her mom. It was stupid and desperate but I still did it.

[Bold of you, Varian, to assume Shiro would be anything but forgiving - for everyone but himself.]

[He doesn't know what to say.]

[He has to read it several times. Closing his eyes over it. While Varian's glad this is over text, Shiro wishes it were in person. But these kinds of conversations are never easy, no matter how they happen. Are they?]

What happened then?

[Another reason he'd prefer to have this in person. Concern doesn't translate over text like it would over speaking.]

[Varian never deals well with concern in times like this anyway. It feels...wrong. Misplaced. People should feel sorry and worried about his victims, not him. He feels like he doesn't deserve it- no matter how many times people tell him otherwise.]

She and her father, the king, came to rescue her. I kept the guards distracted outside with some automatons so we were alone. I captured Rapunzel and the king easily- and then I used my amber solution next to the queen. To force Rapunzel into helping me, unless she wanted to lose her mom the way I lost my dad.

[An eye for an eye. It has been simple then, his mind clouded by anger- it was only after that he saw how childish and stupid it was. Rapunzel had shown him nothing but kindness and all he had done was stab a knife in her back over and over again. ]

It didn't work. Even using her hair, even nearly killing her in the process, it didn't work. The king and queen escaped and I saw them hugging each other, just a big happy family and I snapped. I boarded one of my automatons and attacked them. I tried to crush the queen and Rapunzel's best friend to death with it- told her if I didn't get a happy ending, then neither did she. That I wanted her to hurt like I was hurting.

It was wrong, obviously, I know that now. But I didn't then. Or...I guess I did. I just didn't care anymore.

[It's a lot to take in. A lot. Shiro's silent for a long time, the little cursor flashing - he's still here. He's choosing his words.]

All right. So... What can that tell us about these crystals?

[It's not the answer Varian expects, probably. It's not even the answer he really wants to give. What he wants to do is sit this kid down, look him in the eye and make him repeat part of the last statement.]

[You know that now]

[And nothing he's seen from Varian yet proves otherwise. Heck, this post itself proves it. Using a bad experience for the better of the rest of the network.]

[May as well give Varian a chance to use it.]

[There's so much, and there's a little hesitation on Varian's part before he types back:]

There's... a little more too. To that story? Not much more but- yeah.

[They've got through the worst at least. Shiro is back to business and Varian's not sure how to deal with that. His usual sea of self-loathing is rising in his head and he's terrified the truth has done damage between him and Shiro. He sucks in a breath just... trying to focus on the task at hand.]

That they seem to be very organic - and they definitely play a major role in the resurrection process? Like...interfering with them while they're on someone's body would probably be a bad idea.

Do you want tell me?

[It's an out. For Varian, it's an out. Just in case he doesn't want to talk about this anymore, just in case he wants to leave it there and keep going. Because... well. Shiro does understand wanting to leave certain things where they lay.]

I'm not going to make you talk if you're not ready for it. If you think I need to know, though, I'll listen. You said you knew better, now. That's Honestly, Varian, that's what I care about. What you're doing now. How you're living now, what you're trying to do. That's what's important as far as I'm concerned. And that's why I want to hear what you have to say about these crystals more. You're helping people, here. But again - if you need to finish, I'll listen.

Yes. I do. You deserve to know. I've wanted to tell you for a while.

[He's been afraid of doing it- Shiro's such a decent person- but hearing what he has to say about the subject does ease those worries a little. After all, Shiro's already hear the worst of it- hard to top attempted murder, after all. Except for literal murder, which Varian thankful never got to.]

I do know better now. And I've been doing my best to help people for a long time now. To...even out the score, I guess. But I don't want to ignore what got me here, either. That wouldn't be fair to the people I hurt.

Okay then. I'm listening.

[You know, metaphorically.]

[There will be a time and a place to process this. To go over it and work through it. He needs to do that privately - where Varian wasn't waiting on his responses, wasn't liable to be hurt by any pause.]

You're doing fine, Varian. You've been doing fine since I met you. I get what you're saying, I do. I ... just want you to know how I see it.

[It's a lot to take in, Varian's...aware of that. It's a full-on-deluge of bad things and it's not easy to understand. To accept. He knows people need time to deal with it. Shiro's reassurance does help, though. As much as he's not sure he deserves it.]

...Thank you. I appreciate that.

[He really does. Shiro... well, Shiro and Adam are the closest things he's had to actual father figures since he got here. No replacement for his actual father, of course- but...people he desperately doesn't want to disappoint either. ]

Okay. So. I didn't manage to kill anyone, thankfully. Rapunzel figured out a connection to the black rocks in time to stop me. I got sent to prison for a year, and while Rapunzel was following the path the black rocks led, I broke out with a group of other people and took over the kingdom with them. I helped them wipe the king and queen's memories, and ran the kingdom with them as puppets. I wanted to wipe everyone's memories- make them forget everything I'd done. Which was so stupid, but I was desperate. I made the people of the kingdom work in the mines, to gather the materials I needed for the potion.

[He ran a slave state, basically. The people held that against him for a long, long time- he's sure some of them still do, and he honestly can't blame them for a second. ]

Rapunzel came back and the group I was with revealed that they were planning on using the chemicals I created as a bomb instead. They were gonna destroy the entire city, with everyone inside of it. That... it was a line I couldn't cross. I didn't want anyone to be hurt. So I helped Rapunzel stop them, and she used the powers she'd gained away to free my dad. So I spent the rest of my time I had back home trying to make things better again, to make up for everything I'd done, you know? Put some good back from all the bad I'd put into the world.

[Which should offer some solid explanation as to why Varian so tirelessly tries to help people here. H feels like he has a debt to the universe he's not sure he can ever really clear. ]

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un: trienemybest; video

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