Text UN: 1stStrike CW: Comp Het/Internalized homophobia?

[strikefirster]

[Johnny Lawrence stares at his Omni briefly. Ever since the whole speed dating fiascothe month before there has been something nagging at him. Something that didn't quite feel right to him.

Which is what brings him to his Omni today. And after two or three times where he is accidentally posted on the network one would think he'd learn his lesson, right?]

How not to be gay.

Is doing karate with dudes gay now?

[Wrong.

The network is not google, Johnny.]

Comments

[slightlytaller]

counter point: there's probably a ton of lesbians in karate that we haven't met yet.

[hauntedsavior]

Well, chop chop, bitches.

See, like a karate chop.
It's a funny joke.
It means two things.

[slightlytaller]

I'm sure they'll swoop in before we get kicked out of the chat, like an eagle catching it's prey and then kicking our asses.

[hauntedsavior]

Well, goddamn, Mack, don't threaten me with a good time.

[slightlytaller]

We're truly disasters if we have the same tastes, Anna

[hauntedsavior]

What can I say? I love a girl who can kick my ass.
Why do you think I bonded with K?

[slightlytaller]

I knew it.

I spoiled me for everyone. He can carry a war horse.... Among other things.

[hauntedsavior]

Is that a sex joke? Are you making a sex joke in my Christian Minecraft server?

[slightlytaller]

I'm not incapable of comedy!

[hauntedsavior]

Wonders never cease.
And all it took was both of us gathering around a 50 year old man having a crisis of sexuality.

[slightlytaller]

I had some additional help a couple months ago. That bastard left me with Questions, but I'll not clog the good Sensei Lawrence's question with them.

[hauntedsavior]

Yeah, of course.
This is a very serious post that demands answers and we don't want to muddy the waters with our own dumb bullshit.
The rumor, at last, come out: Does Johnny Lawrence is gay?

[slightlytaller]

The Eighties were not necessarily a good time to be Gay. I wasn't open about it until fairly recently in my Earth-- remember, my calendar last said it was 2004.

He might not even understand it. Seeking info is always a good start.

[hauntedsavior]

God. Yeah.
Germany in the early 90s was its own special brand of fucked. Sometimes I forget about everything else that people were living through at the time.
I guess I got lucky figuring it out in 2010. Obama years, baby.

Maybe I should stop teasing him and actually try to help him.
I guess.

[slightlytaller]

He doesn't talk to me like he talks to you.

But I'm willing to help him how I can, as a fellow survivor of the Eighties.

[hauntedsavior]

Yeah.
All I know is that if this is the reception I got when I was figuring out the gay stuff with Rose, I would've stayed in the closet way sooner.
Then again, he's got the same fire in him that I had when I was 19. Maybe he'll learn more about himself just to spite me.

[slightlytaller]

I suspect that spite is a BIG motivator here.

He's going to try to tick as many boxes to prove he's straight that he'll probably realize straight people don't think this hard about it.

Honestly? It's kind of adorable.

[hauntedsavior]

Oh, cool, he's gonna be hetero so hard he loops back around. Yeah, I know people who have done that.
I'll start finding some day-glo shirts and fanny packs for him.

[slightlytaller]

As long as we don't go as far as that Ken doll they stopped making, he's probably not going to notice.

... I've been here for nearly a year. Maybe I should start adding color to my wardrobe too.

[hauntedsavior]

Aw, they stopped making Cock Ring Ken? What a shame.

Go for it, dude. Won't be anything I do anytime soon -- K's the one who makes colors pop and all -- but I support it with you. Get crazy with it.
Who's gonna judge you? Moss King? Fuck that guy.

[slightlytaller]

Bausphomette most likely. They're the reason I spent MONTHS as a Centaur.

[hauntedsavior]

Aw, really?
Baus always seemed cool to me. Full of love and protection and empathy and all that.
Never managed to commune with them, but, like, idk if I have to anymore?
Anyway. That's actually a shame.

[hachitaro]

I don't know, does Bruno Mars is gay?

[hauntedsavior]

According the last reported this singer revealed himself as homosexual!
Holy fuck. Of all the references I expected to land.

[hachitaro]

I had a friend - well, 'friend' - send that to me a long time ago.

I'm not as like... terminally online as some people but I get fed memes sometimes.