Text UN: 1stStrike CW: Comp Het/Internalized homophobia?

[strikefirster]

[Johnny Lawrence stares at his Omni briefly. Ever since the whole speed dating fiascothe month before there has been something nagging at him. Something that didn't quite feel right to him.

Which is what brings him to his Omni today. And after two or three times where he is accidentally posted on the network one would think he'd learn his lesson, right?]

How not to be gay.

Is doing karate with dudes gay now?

[Wrong.

The network is not google, Johnny.]

Comments

un: kickflips, text

[strongroots]

[






why is everything about his dad's life a joke. ]

dad

[strikefirster]

[Oh.

Oh no.

It only takes a second for Johnny to realize what's happened. It's happened enough that he knows he's made a terrible mistake.

Will he own up to it?

No.

He's just going to ignore it.]

Hey Robby.

How's it going?

un: Hadron ; text ; cw he is from the seventies he's doing his best

[terribibble]

From what I've heard a person can be both. Maybe you're only half gay.

I wouldn't know the first thing about karate, though.

CW: It's okay. Johnny being pulled out of the 80's kicking and screaming

[strikefirster]

Listen punk, I don't do anything half way.

And when I was kid, karate was the most manly thing you could do. Even LaRusso who was a total fucking twerp managed to get three chicks during his karate career.

I just don't want people getting the wrong idea about karate.

[Or him.]

Video; un: Willow

[frogfear]

[Ah. Johnny has only been in Trench for a year, but this is still a thing that happens to him, apparently.]

You, uh, doing okay there?

Video.

[strikefirster]

[At least Johnny has learned to switch to video when the situation comes up. Either way he is doing his best not to angry or embarrassed. He's... Certainly not doing the best on the flustered point.]

Yeah. I'm fine.

What makes you think I wouldn't be?

I'm just trying to figure out where people got the wrong idea about karate.

text; username: grollschwert

[hauntedsavior]

[thank god, an easy one.]

Sorry, J Law.
It's illegal to not be gay nowadays.

[strikefirster]

Fuck that shit.
I didn't vote for this.

[Johnny doesn't vote but that's beside the point.]

text; un: tabris

[peripheries]

Oh?

You finally figured it out?

[strikefirster]

I didn't figure out shit.
I'm trying to figure shit out.
You all have the wrong fucking idea about karate and I'm going to prove it.

Text | un: londonstar

[slightlytaller]

Didn't you know?

Everyone's gay. You're just late to the party.

[strikefirster]

No fucking way.
Not everyone is.
Rocky is as straight as they fucking come.

text; un: d.larusso

[miyagimagic]

[ Jesus Christ.

Did he seriously spend an entire month thinking about this? Because Daniel knows what spurred this on, and that was basically an entire month ago, and here Johnny is - probably - attempting to google it. A month later. Sure, Daniel could be helpful here, but.. you know what?

Daniel deserves this one. He's been so good so far? It's his turn to be an unhelpful little bitch. This is decades of karma working out in his favour. ]

It's okay, Johnny. You can just admit you're insanely attracted to me.

Text | un: londonstar

[slightlytaller]

Anyone who doesn't appreciate the fact that you karate masters are very easy on the eyes is idiot.

Text | un: mister_hatter | meanwhile, the ruffly Victorian man

[payingfordeliverance]

[You know. Break thinks this man is a big stupid moron and kind of wants to challenge him to a duel, but after this recent drought, he has to admit he kind of missed reading his idiotic network posts over tea in the morning.]

Oh dear, is "doing karate" a euphemism for fucking now?

text; un: endless

[manyone]

How uncouth, Mister Break! 🤭🤭🤭

[Text] un: QueenCobra

[abornfighter]

Karate is for everyone whether they're gay, straight, bi or whatever.

[Carefully addressing the other content of this post in language Johnny might be able to process..]

People don't always fit into one of those three categories, though. Sometimes a person can mainly be straight and find out they're attracted to another dude or another chick. Like that person is the exception to their usual preferences. It can be confusing, but it happens.

Re: [Text] un: QueenCobra

[strikefirster]

Yeah.
I'm not saying it's not.
A bunch of my students are I'm sure LaRusso has some that are too. At the very least the Broccoli kid is.

[There is a pause before he starts typing again.]

But... Yeah. That makes sense. I was just trying to say that I'm not.

And it's not like I was going to quit karate or some shit to prove that wrong.

audio | private | un: sds

[fogsong]

[ this would be more hilarious if it probably wasn't something that was eating away at him. she knows he's big on his machismo and is perpetually stuck in the 80s when homosexuality wasn't exactly the most accepted of things. ]

Wanna talk about it, sensei? [ he gave her advice when she needed it and now sharon wants to return the favor ]

audio | private

[strikefirster]

[Johnny wasn't quite sure what he was expecting but it wasn't this message. At the same time Sharon's always sort of leant him and ear when she didn't need to. And he's always appreciated that. He switches over to audio and his voice has a mix of tired frustration to it.]

It's all a bunch of stupid bullshit.

The fucking dating shit from last month. It was fucking having a field day trying to say I was into dudes.

text; un: stanford

[cryptograms]

If practicing martial arts with the same sex was gay, I'm not sure the human race would have survived this long.

In any case, if you're already attracted to someone the sense of rivalry and camaraderie from a competitive sport could make you aware of those feelings.

[ Ford would insist he knows nothing at all about having complicated feelings for someone you've sworn vengeance against, of course. ]

text

[strikefirster]

Science guy is finally saying words I understand and agree with.

...Except for that last part. I have a rivalry but there's no camaraderie. He hangs out with my son and that's about as far as that's going.

[Text]

[hachitaro]

[Sure Johnny beat the shit out of him when he first got here but there's no reason to be a dick about a guy trying to figure things out...]

first of all this isnt google

second of all it doesnt have to be? like it can be if you want it to be but doing karate with people can also just be doing karate with people

or you could be attracted to them its not like its got to be all one or the other

how many gay friends you got?

and wherever you land its totally fine you dont have to explain your sexuality to anyone but yourself

[Text]

[strikefirster]

Yeah.
I fucking realize that now.

It's not for me. Or at least I don't have feelings like that when I'm kicking the shit out of someone. I usually feel the opposite of that, or like concentrated on what I'm fucking doing in the fight.

Plenty, actually. A lot of my students are. And probably a few other people too.

text; un: hakkai

[knowsvinewhip]

I believe that's the adrenaline. It can cause emotions, or reactions, one might find confusing, especially in physical confrontations.

[strikefirster]

I don't have any mixed up emotions when I'm fighting.
Only the desire to bite first and bite hard. A desire to win.

text; @animexpillows

[wrenchedup]

hate to break it to you, but if you're asking the whole network "how to not be gay" there's a high chance you might be a little gay.

(TXT) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

ooooo wise words.

[madgamerhat]

There's nothing wrong with either martial arts or being gay.

Shouldn't there be a moderator cracking down on hateful comments such as these? Obviously, there's no need to expose your insecurities.

[strikefirster]

There isn't. I'm just not-

I can handle this shit on my own, I don't need a fucking moderator and I'm not insecure. It's just this weird ass fucking horror world getting it's kicks at my expense.

It knows I'm the manliest fucking man around here and wants other people to think that's not the case.

text; un: price is right, i’m not sorry, cw fisting

[tagartist]

this kinda makes u look like a little bitch

the way to not be gay is to not find the same sex hot
p sure throwing fists has nothing to do with it
unless ur into fisting
in which case i’m sure u can make karate very gay

Never be sorry.

[strikefirster]

You'd know, huh?

If the chick can dish it or take it I wouldn't say no.
But I'm not laying it down on the matt with any fucking dude that comes in.

[Not here]

[in_loveless_memory]

[Ritsuka, being actively gay and friends with this man's son, is trying to decide whether or not he should address this or just walk away.

Seeing Robby, AND LaRusso-sensei, AND Chloe, AND Hakkai-sensei respond makes Ritsuka just decide "nope" this is handled. At this point it wouldn't even be beating a dead horse, it would be beating the spot the horse got pulverized into.]

[Not here]

[strikefirster]

[This spot wont go down without a fight.]

text un: tenskulls

[stayscared]

I'm pretty sure there's nothing specifically gay about karate. With dudes or without dudes. Is karate a euphemism for something else?

[he doubts it. but you never know.]

[strikefirster]

It's a euphemism for the most badass american sport out there.

This fucking weird nightmare world is just trying to give it a bad name.

[Karate. Not him. He swears.]

text; un: harbinger

[bolstafir]

nah
it's only gay if you did karate with dudes and you liked it

[Who allowed this man to find katy perry music on the omni to shitpost about]

[strikefirster]

I like getting into fights. I don't usually like the pricks I'm fighting.

text, un: mob

[centile]

[huh, the divorced vibes are making a bit more sense. sort of. maybe he's reading it wrong. he should definitely ask just to be sure.]

do you like sensei larusso?

[strikefirster]

I spent thirty years hating his fucking guts.
I thought things were getting better.
But the jury's out at the moment.

[He's being a drama queen right now. Daniel poked fun at the tramp stamp on his dating profile picture and now he's a sour puss.]

text; un: kolchek

[hearuthinking]

Take it from someone who asked himself that first question a lot: You can't
It's just who you are and there ain't nothing wrong with it
But it can take time to be okay with that

text

[strikefirster]

Good for you. No seriously, that's great.
I don't have a problem with that. But it ain't me.

(TXT) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

ure the best, drunkie! i can always count on u to make me feel better when im down HA HA HA! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[strikefirster]

I'M NOT DRUNK
THIS IS SERIOUS

Wait. What the fuck's your problem?

[ text | un: keith ]

[tempredmental]

Dude pls
It doesnt work that way

[strikefirster]

Of course it doesn't!
I'm all man. 100% certified badass. This place is just trying to make people think that I'm no.

[Johnny. You posted this.]

text | un: deku

[wannasmash]

[ Considering who he is dating, it might help to offer some clarification-- ]

don't worry sensei, i don't let who i like get in the way of doing karate well, and you shouldn't either, no matter what your type is.
don't feel like you have to change yourself, ok?

text

[strikefirster]

Good.
Because if you suddenly had a problem training with Paul or Angel Food Cake I'd have to have words or fists for you.

I'm only changing myself in the ways I want to. Not in the ways I don't want to, don't sweat it.

un: endless; text

[manyone]

Going on a little journey of self-discovery, are we? Enjoy it while it lasts!

text

[strikefirster]

The only journey I'm going on is setting the record straight.