[Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[aetherweaver]

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Comments

[creidim]

It's difficult to answer without knowing specifics.

But I think then the question is who were you even before that, even further back? Before you became that person. I'm assuming that you looking back now, you didn't like the person you used to be.

[aetherweaver]

It's less that I don't like him, it's more that I don't know anything about him.

It's hard, knowing that part of you was a person you don't even know.

[creidim]

Oh, do you mean in a literal sense? Such as some kind of reincarnation? Or do you mean you've had your memory altered to no longer remember?

Is it possible to... find out?

[aetherweaver]

I believe reincarnation is the word. Souls in the afterlife in my world break apart and then clump together to create new souls. And some of those souls are from a very very long time ago.

[creidim]

So then everyone in your world is just pieces of everyone else reborn into a new person?

But then... if it's like that, were they really you? Were you really them? If you're a new person, then that's different. Or it feels different to me, anyway.

[aetherweaver]

I guess? But there were some people who were especially powerful or important and that keeps on coming up.

And I keep getting told that I'm 'just like him' by people who knew him.

[creidim]

They do you a disservice.

Regardless of one's creation, he is not you, as much as you are not him. Even if you might seem 'just like him', you are also yourself — which is far more important.

[aetherweaver]

... Thank you.

There's just a lot of expectation on me and sometimes it's just hard to be 'me' - even if a lot of that expectation isn't here.

[creidim]

I think sometimes it's very hard living another way when you're so used to living in one way. Expectations can be very difficult to rid yourself of.

I don't know if maybe it's one of those things that comes with a lot of time to work on things. I'm sorry, it's not fair for you. I hope maybe here in the Waking World you can lose those feelings of obligation.

[aetherweaver]

It is. Six years I spent living as a tool. I know no one intended me to be one, but that's what I was. A tool to save everyone. And now I've spent a year here, and... I don't know.

I still protect people, but it's... because I want to, not because I was told to. I don't have that expectation anymore... except from myself. I just don't know which 'self' it's from - me or him.

[creidim]

That's an awful lot to put on one person, and a complicated frame of mind to live in. No wonder. But you're still not very far removed from that life, either. A year is no time at all.

I think because of the fact that you want to makes it from you. Your actions are your own, I'd consider that being from yourself, not him.

[aetherweaver]

No, I'm not. It feels like a long time and a short time all at once. I don't know - there are people here who have been here for several years.

You're probably right. I'm probably overthinking it. I'm trying not to, but it's a bad habit of mine.