[Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[aetherweaver]

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Comments

[aetherweaver]

It's less that I don't like him, it's more that I don't know anything about him.

It's hard, knowing that part of you was a person you don't even know.

[creidim]

Oh, do you mean in a literal sense? Such as some kind of reincarnation? Or do you mean you've had your memory altered to no longer remember?

Is it possible to... find out?

[aetherweaver]

I believe reincarnation is the word. Souls in the afterlife in my world break apart and then clump together to create new souls. And some of those souls are from a very very long time ago.

[creidim]

So then everyone in your world is just pieces of everyone else reborn into a new person?

But then... if it's like that, were they really you? Were you really them? If you're a new person, then that's different. Or it feels different to me, anyway.

[aetherweaver]

I guess? But there were some people who were especially powerful or important and that keeps on coming up.

And I keep getting told that I'm 'just like him' by people who knew him.

[creidim]

They do you a disservice.

Regardless of one's creation, he is not you, as much as you are not him. Even if you might seem 'just like him', you are also yourself — which is far more important.

[aetherweaver]

... Thank you.

There's just a lot of expectation on me and sometimes it's just hard to be 'me' - even if a lot of that expectation isn't here.

[creidim]

I think sometimes it's very hard living another way when you're so used to living in one way. Expectations can be very difficult to rid yourself of.

I don't know if maybe it's one of those things that comes with a lot of time to work on things. I'm sorry, it's not fair for you. I hope maybe here in the Waking World you can lose those feelings of obligation.

[aetherweaver]

It is. Six years I spent living as a tool. I know no one intended me to be one, but that's what I was. A tool to save everyone. And now I've spent a year here, and... I don't know.

I still protect people, but it's... because I want to, not because I was told to. I don't have that expectation anymore... except from myself. I just don't know which 'self' it's from - me or him.

[creidim]

That's an awful lot to put on one person, and a complicated frame of mind to live in. No wonder. But you're still not very far removed from that life, either. A year is no time at all.

I think because of the fact that you want to makes it from you. Your actions are your own, I'd consider that being from yourself, not him.

[aetherweaver]

No, I'm not. It feels like a long time and a short time all at once. I don't know - there are people here who have been here for several years.

You're probably right. I'm probably overthinking it. I'm trying not to, but it's a bad habit of mine.