deernet | video; UN: TripleJ

[The feed at first is just a mass of red, curly, curly hair. Then Kyle sits back from where he's propped up his Omni on his desk so his upper body and head are visible. He looks vaguely annoyed, which anybody who knows him will recognise isn't terribly unusual.]

So this is a problem that isn't REALLY a problem, but fuck it, I'm gonna ask about it anyway...

You guys have noticed the clothes here, right? Like, everything looks like you're gonna go hunt Dracula or some shit, or like you're going to that fancy-ass party celebrities go to on earth, the, uh, Met gala? Yeah, that.

Now I'm not a fashion guy. [This is evident to literally anyone who can see the feed - this is clearly a man who bought the first clothes he found that fit. Well, mostly fit. He's looking a bit like he mugged an extra in a bad stage production of Oliver Twist.]

But if I DID want something that didn't look like ass, I don't even know what that would look like, you know? Like if you wanted to make an impression, or something. So I guess just like... what the hell are you guys wearing?

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It really is, I lucked out a lot.

[Varian has a sappy heart when it comes to Fern, at least.]

Hah, thanks. I'm...definitely an oddity, back in Corona. There's a lot of magic there- ergo the aforementioned hair - so me being into science meant I was usually treated like a weirdo.

[Also because he tried to kill a bunch of people that one time. That too.]

But yeah, powers are dangerous! And we have them now. We need to figure out how to control them to keep people around us safe.

Ohhhh, fuck, that's weird, that's the opposite of where I'm from. Well. Mostly. People where I'm from aren't REALLY magic but some of them believe really dumb shit more than they do in science and it's a real problem, but yeah.

Yeah, exactly. [He pauses to grab a leather trapper hat.] Dude, you're pretty cool, you know that right?

I think that might be more obnoxious, honestly. At least I can understand where people's confusion back home comes from, even if it's wrong. In your world, it just sounds like they're being ignorant.

[Which is plain RUDE! He blinks in surprise because no, no he did not know that. The only person who actively tells him he's cool is Fern and he's biased.]

Uhhhh...I am? I don't...normally get told that? Nerd- yeah, but not cool?

Yeah. People where I'm from are honestly not very smart.

[Kyle is definitely buying this stupid hat.] Well, I'm a nerd too, but still!

It sure sounds it.

[BUY THE HAT, KYLE. LIVE YOUR DREAMS.]

I can tell. With the hat. [He teasing, he's absolutely teasing. ] But hey, maybe you can find a way to pull it off in a cool way? To impress your hypothetical boyfriend.

Oh. Uhm. Heh, yeah. I just always had this style, like... since I was four. So. [It's like a security blanket, but he's not about to say THAT.

He goes quite the shade of pink.] Uhm. Yeah. Uhm. ...I'm really, really obvious, aren't I? Ugh. I know it's lame.

I can get that. [He taps the goggles sitting on top of his head, they're definitely old and scuffed.] I've had these since I was really little. It feels weird to...not have them with me.

[And so he keeps them on all the damn time. Except when he's sleeping, and for special dates with Fern.

The blush does bring a little smirk to his lips.]

A little obvious, yeah. And nah, it's not lame. [Look at him using the cool future lingo!!!] It's kinda sweet.

I lucked out, my favourite one was in my bag when I woke up here, but leather seems like a good idea.

I dunno why I'm bothering, he doesn't even give a shit about this stuff... I dunno. He's not my boyfriend. But. You know. I'm sorry, I'm a grown ass man and I'm rambling like a middle schooler with a crush.

That is some luck. Especially seen as this place definitely doesn't do a whole lot of...modern clothing.

[The smirk softens a little.]

Well, that's okay. I mean, emotions can get...uh, pretty tricky no matter what age you are, right? [He's seen some adults properly fall over themselves in the romance department before now.] Do you want him to be your boyfriend? Like...have you asked him?

Yeah. Hence the cry for help.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's true. [Kyle, you're twenty-four, calm down.]

No, no, it's like... kinda complicated I think. There's a big culture gap.

Well, glad to be able to answer that cry!

[Bless you and your everything, Kyle. ]

I can get that. I mean, me and Fern... I'm from the time period I'm from and he's from for far in the future, things are literally post-apocalyptic. There's a lot of crossed wires. We send each other...little glossaries explaining the terms that we're used to to each other? Help bridge the gap in understanding. Do you think something like that might help you guys?

I owe you one.

Dude, that's a genius idea! I should do that! And I do want to learn some of his native language if I can, it's really pretty.

Nah, I'm happy to help.

It really does help a lot- and that's cool! Is there anyone else from his home here? You might be able to ask them for some help in learning it. Failing that, the library here has books on literally everything.

Yeah, there's one other dude. I don't think he's super into helping, but I'll check it out.

Okay! So. I've got some clothes that I shouldn't look like a total dork in.

There is? Well, that's something. Maybe you can figure out how to bribe him? Everyone wants something, right?

You do! You're gonna look dapper as anything!

That's true.

[Kyle is plain. A little funny looking. But when Varian says that he beams bright enough that he achieves a momentary beauty.] Thanks, dude.

[Aww, that smile is really nice to see! You GET some of that self-confidence, Kyle!!]

Hey, anytime. Happy to be of service!

video; UN: TripleJ

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