video; un: padlocks

[enblightened]

I have made my warning to a handful of you before, but there are many that I've yet to meet. And so, this is primarily to those who do not know me.

I am something to be wary of. 'Tis not meant as a threat, but a matter of what I am. Call it what you shall, be it a curse or condition, but the brand on my head is not for display only. Many would call me an abomination where I am from, and it is not far from the truth.

I fight back the instincts of a demon inside of me. I hold it back by whatever means I am able, with my will and the bonds I take with me. With years of practice, I am typically able to hold it back, but there can never be a promise of my willpower. If there comes a time in which this beast emerges and I transform, I do not expect mercy on my behalf.

I understand that there are some with a similar situation as myself, or that you have experienced enough horrors to be prepared for it. Making demands of a person is impossible, I know that, but I want to be clear that I am a thing to be careful with.

...Thank you for listening. Be well, friends and strangers alike.

Comments

[peripheries]

I see. I was also created by accident due to an experiment. And yet, only you are called abomination. I wonder what the difference is. Is it if you are useful to someone or not?

[Talking about this all VERY CASUALLY for someone who doesn't look much older than fourteen or so.]

[enblightened]

That depends on what one could conceivably call a miracle, or something that should never have been.

You do not appear distressed over your own situation.

[peripheries]

Well, it is the only reason I am alive. So to distress over my situation would be to distress over my entire existence.

[Okay, that happens sometimes but, for now he's not going to mention that...]

What do you think the difference is between those? I'd say it depends on how it fits into someone's narrative.

[enblightened]

Some might be more dismayed that they were not more like others.

[He's trying not to project, but also.]

I suppose it falls onto intention. In part, it does align to one's narrative; it was easy for devout followers of the church to despise me at first, after all. But I could not begrudge them, not when I have the eternal battle inside of me.

In time, some did welcome me. Perhaps if I had more use than for destruction, that could have been sooner.

[peripheries]

Well, there was no possibility for my existence to be like anyone else's. That was always made clear to me from the moment I was to understand.

[Not quite human and not quite not human. He exists in the in betweens.]

Why is destruction your only purpose?

[enblightened]

I suppose there is something to be said for not missing something you never experienced.

It is all I can do with this beast. It only destroys. It's all it wants.

[peripheries]

Indeed.

[What else is there to say.]

How do you control it?

[enblightened]

Meditation. Minor activities. Willpower.

The less stressed I am, the better control I have.