video; un: padlocks

[enblightened]

I have made my warning to a handful of you before, but there are many that I've yet to meet. And so, this is primarily to those who do not know me.

I am something to be wary of. 'Tis not meant as a threat, but a matter of what I am. Call it what you shall, be it a curse or condition, but the brand on my head is not for display only. Many would call me an abomination where I am from, and it is not far from the truth.

I fight back the instincts of a demon inside of me. I hold it back by whatever means I am able, with my will and the bonds I take with me. With years of practice, I am typically able to hold it back, but there can never be a promise of my willpower. If there comes a time in which this beast emerges and I transform, I do not expect mercy on my behalf.

I understand that there are some with a similar situation as myself, or that you have experienced enough horrors to be prepared for it. Making demands of a person is impossible, I know that, but I want to be clear that I am a thing to be careful with.

...Thank you for listening. Be well, friends and strangers alike.

Comments

( video | un: duckling )

[danserai]

[ that all sounds very sad . . . ]

Do you have a name though?

[enblightened]

Yes. It's Bigby. Though hardly used much where I am from.

And you, child?

video | klapbak | private

[klussy]

(This immediately catches Eddie's attention. He filters to a private video.)

Hey man. If you've got a condition, I can maybe help you live with it. Or try anyway. Name's Eddie.

private

[enblightened]

I suppose that I should not shrug off an attempt. What might you have in mind?

(private) video | un: P.G.

[possessum]

( Ah...... Yet again, another unexpected reminder that Peter's not alone in the sense of.... being afflicted with something within. Some beast, some lurking darkness.

Still, he's unused to talking about it aloud. It takes him some time before he actually forms an answer, turning on his own video function, setting it to private. Some day, he knows he should make an announcement like this, too. Warn the public — they deserve to know.

For now, he's still too afraid for that much. But... he's capable of reaching out to this person, at least. It's carefully, timidly: the young man on the feed now is visibly nervous, dark-rimmed eyes a little wide, voice a bit uneven. )

Hello. ( He seems uncertain of just what he wants to say. Finally— )

This is... really brave of you. Saying it aloud to... warn people. ( The boy (more of a man now, nineteen, but he still feels so small most days) hesitates, brow knitting almost as though he's apologetic for what he asks. )

Are you scared someone might... come after you? Because of this.

private

[enblightened]

[Ah. He can see it, the exhaustion and toll on this young man. Easily, his heart goes out to him.

It does truly seem Bigby is far from the only one cursed. The only benefit is that he has had literal decades to understand how to endure it.]

Brave? That, I could never claim. It is imperative to ensure the lives of others are safe from me, if anything.

It is possible. And I would indeed defend myself if that were the case. I am not so self-sacrificial, nor do I ever intend on living my life caged once more. However, that is if I still have my wits about me.

If I were no longer a man... well. Then that is different.

Speak. You bear a burden yourself, yes?

text; un: shiro

[shiro2hero]

Hey,

I was going to ask if you were holding up okay. But I guess your message here speaks for itself.

Has anything here helped at all?

[enblightened]

Hello, Shiro. Do not take it too ill. I mean only to provide adequate warning to others, should the worst come to pass one day. I pray to Light that it does not.

Someone has shared the most lovely music. It eases my soul, appeasing the beast for the time being.

That, and knowing that people still hold onto hope... Even when I cannot. That, too, helps.

[deadboywalking]

[Will is painfully aware that he'll be the youngest person by far to answer this particular call for aid. That sometimes throws adults off too much, seeing a boy his age talking about being possessed.

But...if there's any chance he can help, he has to. He would've died to have that kind of advice when he was the one suffering like that.

So:] I did. Yeah.

[enblightened]

...Did?

Video | un: notbatman

[saltyadam]

[Have a wan, tired smile.]

I'm sure you've heard you aren't alone in that here. I'll be careful and do my best keep you from harming people if it comes to that, but that's not reason enough to keep yourself isolated in a place like this.

Unless you just want to, anyway. Frankly I'm perfectly happy at home with a book and a cup of tea.

[enblightened]

Isolation would occur, whether I desired it or not. To be otherwise is... unexpected. True acceptance was impossible, and I could not begrudge anyone.

un: trienemybest; video

[droptheious]

[Enjoy having someone clearly happy to see you, Bigby, even if his smile is a little more restrained because of the subject matter at hand.]

Hey, that's...probably smarter. Letting people know from the start. You can never be too careful in this place.

Have you been settling in okay despite...all that?

[enblightened]

Hello, Varian.

I would prefer to be forthcoming than give someone an unfortunate surprise.

More or less thus far. Quite a bit easier than the hamlet I once worked to improve and protect, truthfully.

video; un: erwinsmith

[13thcommander]

[That was... a lot. A lot that could be perceived as overly dramatic (Erwin has been around enough teenagers to know how edgy they can get), but there's a ring of truth to it, a genuine sincerity that gets under Erwin's skin.]

Is your demon literal or figurative?

[enblightened]

Literal.

My body changes. I become a monster -- a predator to anything.

video, un: tabris

[peripheries]

How did the demon come to be inside you? Was it placed there by others? Who determined that this state makes you an abomination?

[enblightened]

Such curiosities.

An accident occurred at the laboratory I once worked vigilantly in. After that, I was forever changed. I had meant to study my own affliction, to determine if it could be cured. It was impossible, and I was... turned in to the order of our church.

It was they that determined what I was. An abomination.

un: eudaimonikos; video

[eudaimonikos]

Now, is this a sapient demon, or no?

[Like look, he's got instincts too, but that's all they are. They don't have to mean anything if you can get someone not to act on them. Besides, which, Michael...tends to feel a little responsible, when other demons in his vicinity get up to bullshit.]

[enblightened]

This monstrosity is no more intelligent than a rabid animal. It is all instinct and nothing more.

Video; UN: Cuddlebunny

[lightthedarkness]

With such a warning, doing what you can to protect others, I don't see how you're an abomination at all.

But it does sound like you're dealing with a lot on your own. Is there anything that can be done to help you? To make it easier or to remove the demon altogether?

[enblightened]

You are kind to say so.

There is nothing to be done to remove it, as much as I have tried. It is something I will carry with me, for however long I will live now. However, there are things to do in order to make it... easier.

I had a comrade once who was a performer. His music could be wicked in its intent -- or a blessing, to relieve my unsound mind. It was easier with him. There are other things, of course. Reading, meditations... Distractions, if I can afford it. But never complacency.

voice; un: givemeyourown (is this before or after their farm romp)

[unsheathedfromreality]

[As is Illarion's custom, he's listened to everyone else he can hear before offering his own comment.]

You see, they are very quick to fold a new Sleeper in as one of their own. [He sounds, honestly, pleased by this.]

before!

[enblightened]

So it seems. The charity is still difficult to fully take in, but is no less appreciated.

This community is a unique one. A man could weep at the kindness.

[video : un: inkmetal]

[inkedspell]

Demonic possession sucks. Is the brand supposed to be a suppression seal or did they just expect you to handle on your own like dicks?

[She has seen what happens when incorporeal demons attach themselves to people. It rarely ends well.]

[enblightened]

[A wry, somewhat amused huff escapes him.]

The brand is meant as a warning to others, nothing more. It has no special properties.

I... will simply say that the order expected their own methods to either work or keep me contained. It would be best if I don't speak much on that for your sake.

video; un: doublehedgedsword

[laminae]

Wait, the 'A' isn't some kinda sick tattoo?

[He had made a HUUUUGE assumption there, wow. Good job, Fern.]

... Um, anywho. Is making a big announcement about this a good idea? [He's been telling people about the Grass Demon slowly, but on a case-by-case basis. Not publicly like this. This seems terrifying.] What if someone decides you actually are an abomination and should die?

[enblightened]

If only that were the case. Nay, the mark is meant as a warning for if I were to escape the order.

[Fortunately, he doesn't appear offended.]

For me, I find it a necessary matter. What if there comes a day I fail to control the fiend and harm others? Worse, what if I kill innocents? A surprise that could have been properly avoided, surely.

[Here, he considers his next words more carefully, especially for people like Fern.]

This is not something I would expect everyone with a similar condition to mine to do. But I would rather err on the side of caution than not, my young friend. If there is someone who would rather see me dead, they are welcome to try. I do believe in defending myself righteously, after all, but if my warning can mitigate a possible future... then that is more than worth it.

(text)

[wwrench]

You know, most people don't go around advertising they've got a death wish.

Is there a silver bullet? You know, something that puts you down fast if it happens?

[enblightened]

I am not most people.

I see no reason why the kind of metal matters. Alas, it would require a number of bullets regardless. The hide is thick leather and endures many a blow. Still, it is a creature; slay it, if you must.

Text | UN : Medicinal

[meds4sale]

A peculiar affliction to be sure.

I take it from what you have said the methods of managing it are a bit spotty?

[enblightened]

Yes. Much of it has been experimental, despite my years with it.

text; un: Wesson

[family_remains]

Here's a thought: why bother?

[enblightened]

Pardon?

text | un: moonmochi

[hopticulture]

[hm. this sure is a lot to hear about. especially with everything going on lately...]

Sounds lonely. How many years have you been holding that part of you back?

[enblightened]

Decades.

I kept count, for awhile. Then I lost track. Then I tried keeping count again.

Video UN: glyphywitchy

[imaglyphwitch]

What's your name?

[He hadn't given it, and Luz was certainly not going to refer to him in her head as "demon guy],"

[enblightened]

Bigby.

And may I ask you for yours, child?

video; un: morningstar

[morningstud]

[Well, with an introduction like that, maybe he shouldn't say anything at all, but...]

I know nothing about the demons of other worlds, and couldn't hold sway over them even if I did, since all of them are so astonishingly different from the ones I know it's alarming... but I am willing to help you in any way I can.

[That might be the most indirect "I am actually the Devil" he has ever said, but he has said it.]

[enblightened]

If... I may, why would you hold any manner of control over them?

[He has a feeling he knows to some degree, but he asks anyway.]

un: song | video

[spoilers]

[ His words strike a chord with River. Her own demons may not be literal, but there's a monster inside her all the same. ]

What I'd call it is a part of you. And hopefully one that never has to be handled without mercy.

[enblightened]

Part me literally, I suppose. But it was not there decades ago. It's a beast, all the same.