video; un: padlocks

[enblightened]

I have made my warning to a handful of you before, but there are many that I've yet to meet. And so, this is primarily to those who do not know me.

I am something to be wary of. 'Tis not meant as a threat, but a matter of what I am. Call it what you shall, be it a curse or condition, but the brand on my head is not for display only. Many would call me an abomination where I am from, and it is not far from the truth.

I fight back the instincts of a demon inside of me. I hold it back by whatever means I am able, with my will and the bonds I take with me. With years of practice, I am typically able to hold it back, but there can never be a promise of my willpower. If there comes a time in which this beast emerges and I transform, I do not expect mercy on my behalf.

I understand that there are some with a similar situation as myself, or that you have experienced enough horrors to be prepared for it. Making demands of a person is impossible, I know that, but I want to be clear that I am a thing to be careful with.

...Thank you for listening. Be well, friends and strangers alike.

Comments

text | un: moonmochi

[hopticulture]

[hm. this sure is a lot to hear about. especially with everything going on lately...]

Sounds lonely. How many years have you been holding that part of you back?

[enblightened]

Decades.

I kept count, for awhile. Then I lost track. Then I tried keeping count again.

[hopticulture]

Does it make a difference if you keep count? Like, is there a timer to it, or...

I'm sorry. It just sounds like a very difficult life to live.

[enblightened]

It was one of the few things I could do. Something for myself, while I was... being treated, as it were.

It matters a little less now, I suppose.

[hopticulture]

I see. I've known people who've struggled with parts of themselves that are dangerous, so it's actually pretty brave of you to speak up about it.

Not many people do that, or they try to pretend and act otherwise.

[enblightened]

I can understand the desire. To still be treated like any other individual.

But I would hate myself more if that demon harmed someone innocent. Best to keep matters clear lest it become an unwelcome surprise for all.

[hopticulture]

Well...communication is a part of it. But hopefully you're not completely isolating yourself from others because of it.

[enblightened]

[SWEATS]

I am attempting to be more forthcoming than I was in my world.

[he's trying]

[hopticulture]

Being forthcoming about how dangerous you are isn't normal in my world either, in all fairness.

A lot of people are scared of the truth and hide it away. Which is why it's kind of nice, seeing someone being upfront about who they are.

[enblightened]

From what you say, I am inclined to believe that. Most would likely keep it to themselves no matter where they are from. I would understand, but... I worry if the worst were to come to pass.

[hopticulture]

[she's suddenly thinking about. hmmm...]

I guess it's more that I'm happy to see someone comfortable enough to be upfront.

Or I guess comfortable isn't the right work either.

[uh...]

However it's put, I get that society is harder on some kinds of people more than others, so it's understandable why they choose to hide it.

It's just disappointing it usually has to be that way, you know?

[enblightened]

People will always come to fear the unknown, for better or for worse. Some things are best left undisturbed, but other things could stand to have more compassion.

Yet, it sounds so common where you are from, for people to be afraid or to cover their less savory natures.