deernet | video; un: padlocks

I have made my warning to a handful of you before, but there are many that I've yet to meet. And so, this is primarily to those who do not know me.

I am something to be wary of. 'Tis not meant as a threat, but a matter of what I am. Call it what you shall, be it a curse or condition, but the brand on my head is not for display only. Many would call me an abomination where I am from, and it is not far from the truth.

I fight back the instincts of a demon inside of me. I hold it back by whatever means I am able, with my will and the bonds I take with me. With years of practice, I am typically able to hold it back, but there can never be a promise of my willpower. If there comes a time in which this beast emerges and I transform, I do not expect mercy on my behalf.

I understand that there are some with a similar situation as myself, or that you have experienced enough horrors to be prepared for it. Making demands of a person is impossible, I know that, but I want to be clear that I am a thing to be careful with.

...Thank you for listening. Be well, friends and strangers alike.

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An accident, really. I have made attempts to reverse it. Others have also... experimented to find out. It does not appear to be reversible to my knowledge.

Ah-- holding... I don't... [For once throughout all of his conversations, this concept actually makes Bigby look incredibly uncomfortable.] That would be unwise. No, I couldn't do that. Please.

I have my bonds that assist me. If there was... perhaps a way to make more of the same, or make them stronger, perhaps that could help?

I know most people would balk at the idea there's some good to being here, but consider it. The universe just split wide open. There are people here who can do things you probably never considered. If there's a chance of someone figuring it out, you're in the best place for it.

[Wrench may have the benefit of employing a method of communication that leaves his own identity mostly masked, but when he sees the man's expression change on the video, it tells him plenty more than what's said.]

I'm not opposed to putting someone down if that's what's necessary. But in my experience, even that doesn't last for very long. Better to find another way. Where did you get these bonds in the first place?

Honestly, my experience being here so far has been nothing but pleasant in comparison to where I'd been before. Perhaps some find it dismal, but there is a comfort in seeing so many work together.

I am not opposed to trying, to a degree. But I do have little expectations.

The chains and padlocks are cursed to hold it back. I know little of their origin, but they were given to me while I was being held by the order to help contain the demon. More so that I did not attack them as I was held.

[Maybe it's the reminder that Wrench needs, but there's a lengthy pause before he responds to that. When he doesn't, he isn't quite as blasé as he's been up to now.] It's all relative. Some might not like to hear there are upsides, but compared to where I was I think I made out better.

Has anyone here taken a look at them? I've learned a little bit of magic, but I doubt I'd be any good for it. I might know a few people though.

You and I have that in common.

Admittedly, it has not occurred to me to ask anyone here. I've been adjusted to thinking there's so little to change anything. I am not opposed to trying.

I get it. This isn't the first time I've been in a place like this. But before I was, I thought magic was just a story. I didn't believe in half the things I know now are true, because they just weren't a part of my world. What was impossible before might be totally easy now.

Besides, you sound like a good guy. Probably deserve more than to be heartlessly put down, you know?

I could never claim to be a good man, but I appreciate the perspective nonetheless. I want to live -- but not at the cost of others.

I will accept your help. Even if it does not work, it's better to have tried.

There's always a cost to others, when you're in community with them. That's just part of the deal. Look, I know it's not easy, but one of the lessons someone close to me was trying to teach me is that you've got to let others determine if that cost is worth it. Does that make sense? Don't just tell them you're too much. Let them decide it for themselves.

...Ah.

[It's not the first time that revelation has been made to him, but it still is surprising to witness. Bigby ducks his head, sheepish.]

I suppose you would be right. It is an easy thing to forget, that there will be people placing a worth in you, even if you see none.

Not the easiest lesson, I know. There was someone in the place I was before this one who worked hard to try to teach me it. I try to remember how much it hurt him to feel like I wasn't letting him make decisions for himself.

Everyone has worth. How have you been spending your time since you got here?

I will attempt to remember this myself.

Exploring. Finding distractions. Understanding the city and the land. Tis not much of a list, but there is much to learn of this place.

Seems like the best thing any of us can do. What do you think so far? How does it compare to where you're from?

I probably should've asked you before what you're called.

No harm done, rest assured.

It's much calmer than the hamlet I tended to before. A stronger foundation of unity. More welcoming. Although there is a part of me that feels lessened without my comrades, I am still glad to know the people here who are welcoming me.

Well, I prefer Wrench. Just what people have called me most of my life.

I think the majority of people here probably feel different in some way. So you've got that in common, at least.

Bigby is my name. If Wrench is what you prefer, then I will call you that.

That is true. Still, it is the most welcome I've felt anywhere in a very long time.

video; un: padlocks

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