text; un impala67

[venatoris]

i've got no idea if this place has as much of a boner for offing us as the last one, but judging from the looks of it, i'm gonna go with yeah.

that said, if you're in trouble and you need a Hunter to come help kick some ass, ping me. if i'm close, i'll come.

[ look how benevolent, this is character growth™.

and now for some private messages; ]


private to ou!sam, au!sam, and au!cas--

sam, sammy, cas - i found the cabin. it looks different, but i can tell its ours. it's up in some district called ache - the impala's here, and so's bones and mr. ed. let me know if you need a pickup.

private to wanda maximoff--

hey. can i ask you a huge favor?

Comments

[explosion]

[ wanda rn ]

Are your brothers here, too? The big one and the small one?

[ is the moose still small??? ]

[venatoris]

[ bless her, she's so cute ]

Yup, they're both here. The big one and the little one both.

[explosion]

[ so, he's still little. maybe it's for the best. there are already way too many tall people in deerington. ]

I'm glad that they've come with you. You need someone who will keep you out of situations of being boned, after all. Sam seems very capable of doing that.

[venatoris]

[ skdjfhdsk jesus christ. ]

That is...something they're capable at, yes.

[explosion]

[ all she wanted to do in life was out-bone dean. and now that she has... ]

Does little Sam have all of his books? Does he have any new ones? I should bring him some more if he has space.

[venatoris]

He's got the books, but we have a LOT more space now, if you want to bring him some. He'd appreciate it.

[explosion]

Does he like ice cream? Do you think he'd want his books to be changed so they never stain?

[ is sam the type to eat and read? he seems the type. let wanda just change the whole makeup of everything you own. ]

[venatoris]

Oh, abso-friggin-lutely. He'd love that. He's 14, he makes a mess everywhere he goes. That would be perfect.

[explosion]

You can't tell him. I want him to be surprised when he spills something on his book.

That's the only caveat I have for amplifying your car. And ice cream. I think he should also get as much ice cream as he wants for a whole week.

[venatoris]

You drive a hard bargain, but deal. My lips are sealed, and the kid gets as much ice cream as he wants.

[explosion]

Good. I won't curse your car to play music you don't like then.

What music don't you like?

[ just for her notes. ]

[venatoris]

There is no way I'm fallin for that, madame

[explosion]

ABBA? Taylor Swift? AC/DC?

private cause u nosy :|

[venatoris]

dont tell anyone but i like all three

1/2

[explosion]

I'll need to tell everyone your secret, brb.

[ chaos witch activated. ]

[explosion]

Your secret is very safe with me.

I like ABBA. Waterloo's one of my favorite songs. Dancing Queen, too, but I think that's everyone's favorite song.

[venatoris]

Take A Chance On Me is a personal fave, if I do say so myself.

[explosion]

I was worried you would have very bad taste in music. It seems that you don't yet.

Did you want the CD?

[ she can, you know... make that happen. ]

[venatoris]

My taste in music is excellent.

...Don't happen to have it on a cassette, do you?

[ SADLY there is no CD player in the house, only Baby's beautiful cassette player. ]

[explosion]

[ for the girl who had gotten married in the 1950s and experienced every decade in a week, the idea of listening to a cassette is a nice one. ]

I'll bring a cassette along when I come and turn your car into a pickle. That's what I'm doing, isn't it?

[venatoris]

[ Dean is an old...old soul. ]

A pickle? I thought it was an eggplant.

[explosion]

Pickles are the new eggplants. I heard it from someone selling pickles here.

Trust me. Your car will be the best pickled car in all of the land.

[venatoris]

[ Wanda, you have absolutely no idea how good you are for his mental health, like whoa. ]

Did you? I missed that pickle memo. Damn.

I'll take your word for it, though. Pickle > eggplant.

[explosion]

[ DON'T LIE ]

It could've been while you were singing Take A Chance On Me. Completely understandable—it's a very catchy song.

You can tell Big Sam about the pickles being cooler, but I think it would be funnier to let him think eggplants are still the coolest vegetable.

[ pietro would want her to inflict chaos like this. ]

[venatoris]

[ SO GOOD ]

That's almost DEFINITELY what happened. It's an ear worm, really gets stuck in your head.

I'm not gonna tell him, it's better to let him live in delusion.