un: timaeusTestified | text | Birthday Boy

[givehead]

Turning 21 has been a completely underrated experience. I was expecting the blackout and loss of time. Even the warping to a new place isn't out of the realm of estimated probability.

But being genetically altered is a plot twist. I assume it is so we can fuck the monsters.

I call dibs on the raven dude.

cw: looots of kink/fetish/nsfw jokes/conversation going on in this here post.

Comments

[givehead]

I see. (He thinks about it for a second and then answers honestly:) No one would use the word selfless to describe me. Pretty much everything I have ever done has been for myself in one way or another. I'm not very emotional.

(So, detached. As fuck. If that put him on the Dark Side, then so be it. He didn't seem too phased by the possibility. Though now that he is thinking about it, he can see why the distinction from evil and good would be imperative.)

I don't know what that is but it sounds cute. (All pets were cute. But the question in point.)

I would probably just fight him or go find something to fight with him. (He has literally no idea how to be romantic and that was the only kind of dates Jake and him ever went on. Granted, no one could really have normal dates in the game, but still. Literally, nothing else comes to mind. This dude really was raised in complete isolation by robots. In speaking of...)

Maybe show him my robots. They're sweet as hell.

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul just nods as Dirk explains about his sense of morality, clearly onboard with what he's hearing. Honestly, this might be the perfect person for his brother to go on a first date with. No matter what the outcome, it'll definitely be good practice.]

A rathtar is a creature of many tentacles and many teeth. They eat just about anything that moves. This one appears to be a dwarf variant so it is much smaller than normal, thankfully, but he is immensely fond of it nonetheless. He'll likely feed some of my enemies to it one day. [As any good younger brother would do when devoted to their older bro.]

Those are all good ideas. I'm sure he'd honestly enjoy any of them. Alright, I approve of you if you would like to date my brother. [There's no possible way this could go wrong at all. Nope, none whatsoever. Then Maul's eyes grow hard.] Just be warned that if you break his hearts or his body in any way, shape, or form, I will do my best to give you the worst death imaginable.

[Since he's unsure what Dirk could survive given he just told Maul he got decapitated and yet was somehow still alive, if nothing else, he'll just cut Dirk into fifteen different pieces, bury them all in different locations, and toss the last one into the sea so that even if he's able ever to put himself back together he'll still be missing one key spot.]