text; un: taka

[retsuden]

[ There has been a great deal of things that Sasuke has learned about in the few weeks he's been here just from talking to new people. All of them have been extremely confusing concepts, like therapy and the idea that people take care of children when they don't have anyone else to take care of them.

Some of these conversations where he's learned things have ended in more questions than answers. He could ask for more clarification from the few he's already made contact with, but the more possible answers he can get, the better. He thinks.

He hopes.

This could be a mistake. ]

How would you suggest someone improve their communication skills?

If your go to response is "talk to people", spare me. I'm only interested in more thorough answers.

Comments

[retsuden]

No. She struggled some when we were children, but she figured out how to navigate these things a long time ago. She cares deeply about everyone she meets.

... Why do you equate romance with sex so quickly? I've no intention of being intimate with anyone until I'm married.

[onerthes]

[...]

You know what? That's fair. I shouldn't. Let me rephrase.

Would you like a hypothetical explanation of if you two both harbor feelings for each other, but have not acted on them yet?

Sex aside, because that just intensifies the emotional topics. It doesn't actually change them much.

[retsuden]

Yes, I would like an explanation.

[onerthes]

Alright. You and this girl are in love. But, where she is able to relate to others, and cares openly and deeply for many people? You are a person who is focused on the task at hand, the work that is put before you and you have trouble relating to people outside of that work.

Yet, you want to communicate better. That's an indication that you feel 'something' for her, even if you really aren't prepared to handle it. You're trained to kill, to fight, to whatever it is you're trained for. War's just common. You know that. You don't know love.

My first suggestion is that you speak to her the way that you do. bluntly. Candidly. Directly. Don't try to be someone else, because you can't, and if she fell in love with you, she fell in love with who you are. Not who you'd want to be for her. that's a starting point.

Try to openly, directly, one night ask her to listen and tell her that you want to try and communicate better. Go ahead and feel awkward about it because it's going to be awkward as fucking hell. Tell her that you're not good at this, but that you want to try to get better at it with her. Don't say "I love you" or anything like that. take your time with that. Start by asking what she might be comfortable talking about, that isn't "Status report. trench. day 12 of being trapped in this insane city. Encountered new people. Blood corruption appears to be..."

Each of us communicates differently, but if she's already got emotions wrapped up around you, and you've got any wrapped up around inside, the starting point is to admit to yourself you have them? And then tell her you want to be better at this.

From there, we can get into some of the rest. But this is where I suggest you start. As you, unable to speak about any emotions or desires outside of the mission at all, telling someone you've worked with that you would like to talk about something else with them.

[retsuden]

And the hypothetical where I feel more strongly for her than she does for me?

Before this place, we hadn't spoken in two years.

If she had feelings [ """"IF"""" like she didn't confess to him multiple times just before he left. ] two years without contact could change a number of things. I don't even know if she would still consider me a friend.

In that situation, it would be better to approach it as an attempt to rekindle a friendship first. Right?

[onerthes]

Yes. Feelings can change over time. It depends exactly how much she fell for you, and how much you fell for her. Some people only ever love once in their life, and they can't even envision another, and the mere sight of them rekindles confusing thoughts. Some? They move on, willing to try again and again until they find someone that they can be happy with. I do not know her, so I won't pretend to know.

But you could absolutely phrase this as "I want to rebuild our working relationship, after years of working apart. So, would you help build back our team camaraderie?" Or something similar. You could even phrase it as 'to be a better teammate' to start, move to friend, and let the rest come from there.

In this hypothetical, it might even be in character for you to start by phrasing it as 'being a better teammate' or something. No offense, but you don't seem the sort to get down on your knees one moonlit night and confess your feelings to someone.

[retsuden]

[ There's another one of those lengthy silences from him as he reads and rereads those words. The idea that some people love just one person. That they can't ever move on.

I have family, and I have friends but if you’re gone... To me... It will be the same as being alone...

I love you with all my heart!

Maybe he's being a fool for even daring to think that Sakura is one of those people who could try again with someone else. ]

You're right, being practical has always been my go-to and I hardly find the romantic gestures they do in the movies to fall into that category.

Thank you for the advice.

[onerthes]

One free, unsolicited bit of advice. Romance is almost never practical. Emotions don't work like that a lot of times, but I imagine if this "hypothetical" is real, you are already potentially learning that.

Good luck to both of you.