Video - UN: CentaursTesticle

[alternia_strength]

[It wasn't exactly intentional that this was a video. He wasn't in entirely the right head space right now. Equius was sitting there, staring at his omni, trying to type out a message and clearly looking agitated, gloomy and broiling on the edge of fury. There was just one problem.

he didn't look like Equius at all. He looked like some gloomy, very buff goth teenager with perpetual bags under his eyes, a lit cigarette in one hand. He looked extremely human, and the only reason it was obvious who this was, was the fact that nobody in their right mind would ever use THAT as their screen name. Only him. He growled through teeth that looked like they'd had more than their fair share of chips.]

This situation is intolerably excremental. When I sought to accomplish the shedding performance this was not to be the result. This frame is so floppy and weak. My bones ache and creak and the fluids in my veins are even more wrong than they should be. I would punch something to get it out of my system, but my knuckles are not up to this at present.

Bah, perhaps one of these nattering humans knows how to reverse this effect. They must be aware of ...

...

Wait.

[Squint. He glared at the camera as ashes spilled from the cigarette, his eyes widening. Lips quivered and he practically screeched at an octave usually reserved for the hearing range of dogs.]

THIS THING IS SET TO VIDEO!
GAH!

YOU HAVE SEEN NOTHING!
I COMMAND IT!

(OOC: Equius is Human for a week. Enjoy the show! It'll be awful.)

Comments

[eudaimonikos]

I guess that makes sense.
We don't really need to eat at all, so I only do it for fun. Mostly at parties?

Basically, that means that half of what I eat is cake. Humans love to serve cake at parties.

[alternia_strength]

So much cake. It is an almost ridiculous amount of the confection. I do not understand their obsession, especially on birth remembrances. But they absolutely eat a great deal of it.

They also stick fronds in it for some reason.

[No, that was just John.]

[eudaimonikos]

I haven't seen that.

[People do make weird cakes, though!]

I don't know, I think it's fun.
It's probably more about the parties than the cake, though.

[alternia_strength]

That might just be John. He was strange by human standards, or so I am told.

Ah, yes. I have never been very good at parties.

[To say the least.]

[eudaimonikos]

Could be. The strange humans are pretty fun, though.

I love parties!
Even demon parties, and those mostly involve poking each other with hot sticks.

[alternia_strength]

That actually sounds like a wonderful party, if a little unimaginative in the methods of strife. I suspect I might enjoy demonic parties.

[...look, trolls were violent.]

[eudaimonikos]

I mean, maybe the first couple times.
But demons aren't really that imaginative, as a whole.

[Even in the past, when he'd been more blase about violence, he'd long since gotten bored of office parties.]

[alternia_strength]

Admittedly, neither are trolls. once we find our preferred strife specibus, we rarely change even when it is preferred to do so. But we do like variety in beating the stuffing out of each other.

[eudaimonikos]

Strife specibus?

[alternia_strength]

Ah apologies. Our term for it.

"Preferred weapon" would be accurate in human tongues.

Most trolls develop an affection for a specific kind of weapon. Unfortunately, my preference is for the bow, and my raw physical potence is frequently too much to be able to wield one safely.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh! We don't really have anything special around that.
Obviously people have preference, but you can't just use one thing forever.

You've gotta get better bows.

[alternia_strength]

While in Asgard, it was a non issue. My physical prowess was relegated to the maximums of human capacity, which made bows usable. I've attempted to do it here, but I tend to break them unintentionally.

Perhaps there is an enchantment specifically to make one durable enough.

[eudaimonikos]

I know people can use magic to make weapons lighter around here.
Or covered in fire or something.
Maybe they've got one for durability, too.

[He doesn't know. Though he's also much stronger than a human, Michael's had plenty of time to learn to control himself; you really don't want to break everything you touch.]

[alternia_strength]

The thought has occurred to me in the past. Enhancements weren't enough in my world, but I am coming to understand that rules there are not rules here.

So, there might be something that could make the bow unusable for humans but useable for me. That might do the trick, so long as the material could still bend.]