Tachome Dhaume (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bardbarous) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2021-09-06 11:33 am
bardbarous) wrote in deernet2021-09-06 11:33 am
video; un: metalhead69
cw: poop?
[ Tuck's big face takes up the majority of the screen when the feed turns on. He looks, well, a little worried in spite of his attempt to look totally casual. His comically wide eyes are not helping the act. ]
He-llo, everybody. Soooo, we [ meaning Vyng who is speeding back and forth behind him in what looks to be the inside of a fully furnished yurt. ] are missing a vase, and it's really important that we get it back—
Don't open it! [ Vyng shouts from behind Tuck. ]
Yeah, don't open it. It's—
It's full of Tuck's shit.
[ Tuck's bug-eyed stare turns dead and resigned at hearing his friend dredge up that excuse again. ]
Yeah. I have... this compulsion, and I have to shit in this one vase. And I can't help myself! I need it back immediately. So, if you find a vase kind of lying around on the beach—
Remember don't open it! Do not open it.
It will kill you—the smell, I mean! It's been sealed for, like, months. It will fuck up this whole city. From, from the smell. Of my shit.
Just call us and we'll come take it off your hands! Figuratively, though. Don't touch it.
Don't touch it, don't fucking look at it—No! Look at it for, like, a second, then call us, and stop looking at it! You got that?
[ Tuck's big face takes up the majority of the screen when the feed turns on. He looks, well, a little worried in spite of his attempt to look totally casual. His comically wide eyes are not helping the act. ]
He-llo, everybody. Soooo, we [ meaning Vyng who is speeding back and forth behind him in what looks to be the inside of a fully furnished yurt. ] are missing a vase, and it's really important that we get it back—
Don't open it! [ Vyng shouts from behind Tuck. ]
Yeah, don't open it. It's—
It's full of Tuck's shit.
[ Tuck's bug-eyed stare turns dead and resigned at hearing his friend dredge up that excuse again. ]
Yeah. I have... this compulsion, and I have to shit in this one vase. And I can't help myself! I need it back immediately. So, if you find a vase kind of lying around on the beach—
Remember don't open it! Do not open it.
It will kill you—the smell, I mean! It's been sealed for, like, months. It will fuck up this whole city. From, from the smell. Of my shit.
Just call us and we'll come take it off your hands! Figuratively, though. Don't touch it.
Don't touch it, don't fucking look at it—No! Look at it for, like, a second, then call us, and stop looking at it! You got that?
no subject
[They're seasoned adventurers. They've got this.
...Then again, maybe they don't got this, considering they're frantically searching for the vase housing a monster capable of murdering and possessing people. The one thing neither of them could afford to lose.
Vyng grimaces at Oscar's reminder of how fragile vases generally are, and how much the ocean loves breaking stuff. Deep down, he knows it's a long shot to find the vessel intact. They've still got to try, though.]
We'll cross that bridge if we get to it, I guess.
["If" is probably being optimistic, but he's not going to borrow trouble here. They've already got a surplus as it is.]