Tachome Dhaume (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bardbarous) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2021-09-06 11:33 am
bardbarous) wrote in deernet2021-09-06 11:33 am
video; un: metalhead69
cw: poop?
[ Tuck's big face takes up the majority of the screen when the feed turns on. He looks, well, a little worried in spite of his attempt to look totally casual. His comically wide eyes are not helping the act. ]
He-llo, everybody. Soooo, we [ meaning Vyng who is speeding back and forth behind him in what looks to be the inside of a fully furnished yurt. ] are missing a vase, and it's really important that we get it back—
Don't open it! [ Vyng shouts from behind Tuck. ]
Yeah, don't open it. It's—
It's full of Tuck's shit.
[ Tuck's bug-eyed stare turns dead and resigned at hearing his friend dredge up that excuse again. ]
Yeah. I have... this compulsion, and I have to shit in this one vase. And I can't help myself! I need it back immediately. So, if you find a vase kind of lying around on the beach—
Remember don't open it! Do not open it.
It will kill you—the smell, I mean! It's been sealed for, like, months. It will fuck up this whole city. From, from the smell. Of my shit.
Just call us and we'll come take it off your hands! Figuratively, though. Don't touch it.
Don't touch it, don't fucking look at it—No! Look at it for, like, a second, then call us, and stop looking at it! You got that?
[ Tuck's big face takes up the majority of the screen when the feed turns on. He looks, well, a little worried in spite of his attempt to look totally casual. His comically wide eyes are not helping the act. ]
He-llo, everybody. Soooo, we [ meaning Vyng who is speeding back and forth behind him in what looks to be the inside of a fully furnished yurt. ] are missing a vase, and it's really important that we get it back—
Don't open it! [ Vyng shouts from behind Tuck. ]
Yeah, don't open it. It's—
It's full of Tuck's shit.
[ Tuck's bug-eyed stare turns dead and resigned at hearing his friend dredge up that excuse again. ]
Yeah. I have... this compulsion, and I have to shit in this one vase. And I can't help myself! I need it back immediately. So, if you find a vase kind of lying around on the beach—
Remember don't open it! Do not open it.
It will kill you—the smell, I mean! It's been sealed for, like, months. It will fuck up this whole city. From, from the smell. Of my shit.
Just call us and we'll come take it off your hands! Figuratively, though. Don't touch it.
Don't touch it, don't fucking look at it—No! Look at it for, like, a second, then call us, and stop looking at it! You got that?
no subject
[ A pause. ]
Because of my shit.
[ Just in case that wasn't clear. It's totally about shit and nothing else that could be in there. ]
no subject
Must be some roughs shits there, man.
[ It'll be bad for the city because he can't shit... it sends Yuri into peals of laughter again, man he needed this. He takes a deep breath, trying to get himself under control because maybe this guy isn't kidding ]
Man, okay. I can help you find it. Sounds real important.
no subject
no subject