deernet | 1 Point | Video; UN: Strike1st

[The feed opens up to a crooked shot of a building that screams abandoned warehouse vibes. Out of frame is a man in a black karate gi standing next to a grandfather clock with the words "Professor Dongspin" written on it in green paint.]

Now I just got here but I've been seen a lot of talk about free fighting lessons. But we all know that in life you get what you pay for.

You want to really kick the competition? Then you need to get your ass down to Cobra Kai.

Screw that weird ass fairy tale bullshit. Learn from someone who drinks raw eggs, not pansy ass hot chocolate.

You'll learn bone crunching, face smashing, all American Karate. For the reasonable price of your blood, sweat and tears.

We're not going to be doing any self-defense, It's time to learn self-offense.

Don't be a pussy. Join Cobra Kai and let me teach you the way of the fist.

[And then leaps into the air and delivers a spinning kick into the grandfather clock which collapses and smashes against the ground.

The feed cuts out shortly after.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Have Stiles just giving you a look, Johnny.]

Jesus Christ, it's like the entirety of the 80s took human form.

(Sorry man, but you get the Bro splinter today. This dude's got the perfect poker face and has decided it's time to fuck with this guy.)

There are few things in life more raw and satisfying than throwing another guy around. Just slamming him down and completely dominating him. You get it.

(He's nodding sagely like he's in complete agreement with Johnny.)

Edited (WOW im dumb this is video not text) 2022-02-03 03:58 (UTC)

[Yeah... Keith really didn't like this guy. Definitely not after the beach.]

You know karate isn't American, right?

Excellent!

[Was it fortunate that obscene amounts of l33t speak and indigo blue text weren't flying in this man's direction? That was up in the air. There was currently a gray-skinned figure there with fangs snaggled in his snarling face as he sneered at the camera from behind a pair of broken shades. He was dressed in a leather work apron over black tank top and standing in what looked like a foundry, his broken, candy-corn yellow horns sticking out of the top of his head as he snarled and nodded vigorously.]

It is wonderful to see that someone in this town understands the purpose of training. Think pans are meant to be smashed. Fronds are meant to be scuffed! Wonderful! I will not be a pussy. I will be there to smash bones and break objects.

...

...

What is a pussy?

You bare the look of a Jedi but the mannerisms of a slums corner caller.

[However, smashing people is definitely something that he is interested in. It's been awhile since he just walked up and beat the ever living crap out of someone.]

If you're teaching the way of the fist, why are you kicking?

[ Wow, this guy is a whole Vibe. Yuri is pretty into this, and suppresses a grin, poorly. That poor clock, what did it ever do to you?! ]

Steep price there, man. You know what they say about getting what you pay for.

[ This might actually be the best thing Akechi has seen since arriving in Trench. ]

If you ask people in this place to pay you with blood they might take you literally.

[This might actually be the best thing Sayo has seen since arriving in Trench.

Time to start some drama.]

and, er, what if we've already been... pressured... into signing up for dongspin's

i mean ozpin's

training?

Raw eggs? Seriously?

[They had.... shared a moment in the bar, drinking and laughing. Perell did not know what to expect of this man-- and his memory, unfortunately, was blurry.

As long as he had coffee and bacon, he was happy after a night of drinking.]

Edited 2022-02-03 03:13 (UTC)

What's wrong with hot chocolate?

[Johnny. Have you tasted hot chocolate? It's way better than raw eggs.]

So...you want us to give you blood, sweat and tears as payment? What are you going to do with those?

Do you drink them, like the eggs?

Does this mean you're a vileblood, too?

[And he'll point his finger at Stiles.]

Rock on, man. The 80's were the best.

But in like a legit way, not in a Stingray tries too hard kind of way.

[Paul has a look of mild fascination when he appears in view in front of a backdrop of a pale tent wall.]

Is finding Cobra Kai part of the initiation?

Edited 2022-02-03 03:58 (UTC)

[Johnny sees this guy and he's immediately reminded of the asshole who killed him on the beach during his first day in town.

Is Johnny afraid? No. Fear does not exist in his dojo.]

Don't know what a Jedi is but if they kick ass in a fight than I'm definitely that and not a prostitute.

It's the philosophy of the fighting style. Karate includes punching and kicking and basically anything else you need to be a badass in a fight.

...By the way you on the run from the cops or something? Dyeing all of your skin yellow is pretty try hard.

They preach a lot and then have a habit of dying. [So really, he's already on the mark even if he doesn't know it.] Jedi, as far as I know, are not prostitutes.

Your description makes this style sound like it could be anything then.

[Dyeing his skin tone... was this guy real?]

Yellow is my natural skin colour. It isn't rare for my species.

Sounds like fucking Miyagi-Do. We do less preaching more ass kicking.

There are styles of Karate. So it can be. Cobra Kai, my style of Karate is about fight aggressively. Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy. Those are our tenents.

Seriously? Last time I saw you, you had red skin.

[Holy shit, this guy is the best.]

Okay, we have a lot to unpack here, dude.

My goodness! You're very dedicated! [She giggles.] I've never heard of putting a pansy in hot chocolate, does it make it taste better?

Seriously? What the heck, kid?

Well it's not too late to back out of the shit and come learn how to really fight.

I'm still working on a location. But I checked out the building behind me and it's empty and got a bunch of space. It might do the trick.

Unless you're talking about the nerds initiation or what ever. Then no. We're going to actually train people here.

[Well. Isn't this just a surprise. Self Offense? And fighting a clock?

What kind of moron is this? She's met several Americans, and he must be the noisiest. And she's reminded of a certain buffoon.

Nevermind that Kassandra is holding an axe with blood dripping off of it. Just disregard that she's responding to this after having killed a monster. She's tall, armored, and has a heavy Greek accent.]

You bray like a donkey, and all you've proven with this is that you know how to break furniture.

What qualifications do you have to teach others?

I don't know what that means kid, but no. My blood's not vile, unless I've been drinking vodka. That makes it pretty nasty.

I'm going to keep it in a jar and we're going to add more to it as you improve. It's going to be a testament to how much of a man you can be.

So you only aim for the ass with your feet. Where do you aim your fists then?

Sounds like Juyo. I expect I could still put you in the ground against your karate.

[He growled low in his throat.]

And how well did that end for you?

[And Johnny falls for it hook, line and sinker.]

Ah finally! A real man understands what I'm talking about. I take it you've gone a round or two in the ring?

[Oh no. Not this guy again.]

You know your mullet makes you look like a total fairy, right?

Of course I know that. But we took the sport and made it our own. Like hockey and football.

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1 Point | Video; UN: Strike1st | CW Language

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video | un: BRO

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