video | un: sds

[fogsong]

[ The video comes to life with awkward fiddling, catching glimpses of a dimly lit bedroom and what looks like blank canvases leaning against a paled, paneled wall before she gets her omni set where she'd like. She steps into view and takes a seat on the floor, close enough to the camera to make out the bags beneath her eyes. She fidgets, suddenly unsure of what she's even doing. ]

Last month, right? That was fun. [ Her grin is more of a grimace and she rolls her eyes to emphasize the sarcasm that drips from her lips. It had not been fun, not one lick, but it had been painfully eye-opening. She licks her lips. ] Made me realize some things, though. Namely that I need a teacher of some sort, specifically for... [ She hesitates. She's not sure what to call them because she's never given them a label before. ] Psychic powers, I guess?

It’s not blood-related or anything. It’s complicated and personal but I’ve always had them. I just couldn’t use them. [ To put it very, very simply. ] And when I say psychic powers I’m talking telekinesis and prophetic nightmares. Things like that. [ There's more but those are harder to say out loud. ]

I don’t have much control over them. [ In a lot of ways, she’s scared of them. They’re not the reason Alessa was brought to the attention of the Order, that was just her birth and Dahlia's refusal to name a father, but they’d made it so much worse. ] I don’t really use them consciously. They just. Happen. Usually when I’m afraid or angry or overwhelmed. [ Which seems like it's going to happen a lot here. ]

And I need control over them. Not just because they’d be useful but so I don’t hurt someone on accident. [ It's so she can hurt people on purpose.

She leans forward to turn off the video but seems to realize something and adds: ] Oh, and my name's Sharon Da Silva. If there's someone that can help, I'd... really appreciate it.

[ And off the feed goes. ]

Comments

voice | un: karma

[torpour]

[well, he was right-- she's a trouble magnet, isn't she? though he does sympathize, given his recent struggles with his own paleblood. and he does have some experience in teaching people how to deal with their abilities...]

That's not something easily conveyed over the Omni, unfortunately-- and not done in quick, easy steps. [then he sighs deeply.] But I do know the struggles, when I only started working on a difficult but innate ability of mine here, in Trench. It's not the same as yours, but I believe the principles and underlying needs are the same-- control.

That is to say... I use healing magic.

[fogsong]

[ It's starting to seem normal to struggle some with one's abilities. She feels less out of place. ]

The best things are never quick and easy, even if it'd be nice. [ Sharon would genuinely love for someone in Trench to have some magic fix-all when it came to her powers. A few words and bam, she's a goddess of control. But she knows better. ]

It is a little weird to think the same thing needed for something like healing magic can be necessary for more destructive abilities. It feels like they should need different things. [ But, no, control is control. ]

[torpour]

Control is control, whether it's a mental ability or physical one. But I'd say abilities you need to control with your mind are far more difficult to master.

But I wouldn't call your abilities destructive. They only seem to be because you cant control them. Yet.

[fogsong]

You'd think but I've seen what they can do when someone does have control of them. [ "Someone". That someone is Alessa and Alessa is a part of Sharon. ] They're destructive in ways I can't even fully explain. Scary, even.

[torpour]

[nehan has to snort softly.]

Isn't that because they wanted to be destructive? [rhetorical, but nehan is just asking that to make a point.] When someone finally has a grasp on their abilities, everything they accomplish with them from that point on is all about what they want to do with such powers.

Someone as destructive as you said... all they wanted was to destroy, then. Magic doesn't make the person.

[fogsong]

[ He makes a good point but Sharon has to bite her lip to keep from getting defensive. ]

Maybe not here and that's something I'll have to get used to. Back home, magic definitely made the person, at least in the eyes of others. I come from a world where that kind of thing is considered evil and destructive; feared regardless of what kind of person you are.

They burned people alive for the kinds of things I can do.

[torpour]

Hmph. Sounds like some people who don't know what they're talking about. [like they're a society who had no magic for themselves, really, and didn't know how to deal with someone different.]

I'm sure they'd burn me alive just for what my family could do, too. Nevermind, I can teach you more, if you want.

[fogsong]

[ The look she gives says it all: of course he'd suffer at their hands. That was the kind of people they were. But then he shifts the subject and her expression eases. She nods. ]

I would, actually.

[torpour]

First, we need to change your negative opinions about your abilities.

Aside from control and not hurting people with them, what do you want to accomplish?

[fogsong]

[ She opens her mouth to protest but shuts it quickly, lips pursed. It's obvious, Sharon. ]

What more could I want to accomplish with them? [ Everything she could want to do with them hinges on control so she hasn't thought past that yet. ]

[torpour]

Think about the people you like here-- you don't have to name them, just keep them in mind. And remember that they're always in danger while they're in Trench. [when in doubt, use someone's relations to get them to do something.

ironic when nehan used to put pressure on someone's loved ones in order to put pressure on them, but now he's subtly telling a kid to protect them to motivate her to do better.]

What do you think you can do about that?

[fogsong]

Can't say I love the reminder that they're in constant danger here but... that's kind of the biggest reason I have to want control in the first place. [ Between Trench and the darkness she knows she can bring under the right conditions, her main reason to want control is to protect her mother and those she's grown to like. ]

That's more important to me than anything else.

[torpour]

Then you have answered my question.

Shift your mentality from controlling your abilities because they're destructive to controlling them because you want to protect people. You'll find far more success when you frame your training that way. Do you know why that is?

[fogsong]

[ She waves her hand in a lazy, exaggerated fashion. ] Uh, something something positivity?

[torpour]

[nehan snorts.]

Close, but not enough.

Thinking of your abilities as destructive can lead to fear. Fear of what you can do yields almost nothing-- it will make you latch onto the very first positive effect you've managed to accomplish, the very first use that gets you results, and you wont branch out despite all the other possibilities of what you could do with your power, because you're afraid to take risks, or think outside the box.

But if you concentrate on the fact that you'll be able to protect people, you can find inspiration come to you more easily.