video | un: sds

[fogsong]

[ The video comes to life with awkward fiddling, catching glimpses of a dimly lit bedroom and what looks like blank canvases leaning against a paled, paneled wall before she gets her omni set where she'd like. She steps into view and takes a seat on the floor, close enough to the camera to make out the bags beneath her eyes. She fidgets, suddenly unsure of what she's even doing. ]

Last month, right? That was fun. [ Her grin is more of a grimace and she rolls her eyes to emphasize the sarcasm that drips from her lips. It had not been fun, not one lick, but it had been painfully eye-opening. She licks her lips. ] Made me realize some things, though. Namely that I need a teacher of some sort, specifically for... [ She hesitates. She's not sure what to call them because she's never given them a label before. ] Psychic powers, I guess?

It’s not blood-related or anything. It’s complicated and personal but I’ve always had them. I just couldn’t use them. [ To put it very, very simply. ] And when I say psychic powers I’m talking telekinesis and prophetic nightmares. Things like that. [ There's more but those are harder to say out loud. ]

I don’t have much control over them. [ In a lot of ways, she’s scared of them. They’re not the reason Alessa was brought to the attention of the Order, that was just her birth and Dahlia's refusal to name a father, but they’d made it so much worse. ] I don’t really use them consciously. They just. Happen. Usually when I’m afraid or angry or overwhelmed. [ Which seems like it's going to happen a lot here. ]

And I need control over them. Not just because they’d be useful but so I don’t hurt someone on accident. [ It's so she can hurt people on purpose.

She leans forward to turn off the video but seems to realize something and adds: ] Oh, and my name's Sharon Da Silva. If there's someone that can help, I'd... really appreciate it.

[ And off the feed goes. ]

Comments

Video UN: 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

I don't know shit about psychic powers. Sounds like a huge pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned.

So I'm no good helping you with that but if they're triggered by getting pissed off or scared as shit we can always do something about that.

We can train and try to figure out what makes those powers tick. Then you can let them out when you need it.

[This is a terrible idea and Sharon should definitely look into other options.]

[fogsong]

[ He's not wrong about them. They are absolutely a huge pain in the ass. ]

And that sounds like a good, safe, sane idea to you? [ If there is one thing she could learn from Johnny, beyond the good old-fashioned American karate, it's confidence. Even if it's a little blind. ] Because it sounds like a dangerous one to me.

[ For Johnny, that is. ]

[strikefirster]

[Johnny gives a shrug. He has already pissed off a Sith Lord and Jumped foot first into the maw of a giant monster. He wasn't afraid of anything here, even if he really should be.]

It sounds about as sane as letting you walk around with no idea how to control that shit.

Everyone else around here will come up with ways to beat around the bush instead of taking the problem on head on.

[fogsong]

[ That makes her self conscious and her expression hardens. ]

It's not like I'm a bad experience away from hurting someone. It takes a lot.

video | un: 10-0

[devilmind]

I don't know about being a teacher, but... I have been through the same things you describe here. I couldn't control my powers, either. Every time I felt afraid or angry, someone would get hurt.

[ And they were always afraid and angry in those weeks after they'd been rescued from the Zariman. The memories are patchy and vague now, but they remember the animal fear that had gripped them every time an adult had entered the room with them, the flashes of Void and fury, and the sick remorse that had followed. Their sympathy is genuine and deep. ]

For me, learning to control my powers meant controlling the memories they're tied to. I remember them when I need to use my powers, but even then, I'm not in them anymore. It's like I'm just... reading a story that happened to someone else.

[ It's like what they'd taught Umbra—to accept the memory and move beyond its reach. How relevant that will be to this woman, they don't know. Maybe her powers don't work exactly like theirs and maybe learning to disassociate from one's memories is easier when you've been cut off from them for so long. Still, they want to help. ]

...Maybe I can teach you how to meditate? That's what I do now, to keep my memories in check.

[fogsong]

[ There is something a touch reassuring to hear from someone with a similar experience, even if it's not exactly the same. She's met so many people here with such an impressive array of powers they could control like they came second nature to them; it's made her a little self-conscious.

Their talk of memories, of controlling them, strikes her. She's not confident that's something she can do. All of Alessa's memories are still fresh. It's been decades since Alessa's suffering began but it's only been weeks since it truly came to an end.

Still, if it helped them, maybe it could help her. She's willing to try. ]

I've tried meditation before, though not for this. I have nightmares a lot and I used to try everything to get over them. I could never really shut my brain off during it, though. [ She'd done it in her bedroom, alone, with an online guide open. It ended in frustration. Maybe it'll end differently if she learns from someone with experience. ] I wouldn't mind giving it another try, though.

How'd you figure out meditation would work for you?

[devilmind]

[ Her question gets a wry smile from the Operator. ]

I don't know if I can explain it easily...

[ They've had a long, long existence and much of it has been framed by context that simply doesn't exist here. Still, they'll try. After a few moments of thought, they begin to speak, choosing their words carefully. ]

For a long time, nobody could figure out how to fix us—how to stop us from hurting people. So they removed our memories. All of them. After that, I didn't know who or what I was, I just... did what I was told. And those times when I felt confused or upset about not knowing, I'd meditate. Until I found the emptiness peaceful again. [ Even remembering it, there's an odd glaze to the Operator's eyes. That simple, near-mindless obedience had defined centuries of their life—sometimes, it's easy to remember it as blissful. They blink, snapping themself out of it. ]

When my memories came back, I tried meditating again. But it was different after that. I couldn't go back to being empty. So, after a while, I figured out a different way; instead of trying to make the memories disappear, I found a way to step outside them. That's how I meditate now.

[ Their eyes focus on the camera again. ] I've taught someone else to do it before, but I don't know if I could... um... connect to you in the same way. [ A slight smile. ] Psychic stuff. Sorry. But I could still try to teach you from the outside.

[ As in, not in the form of a psychic vision inside her mind. Unfortunately, that connection is limited to Warframes. ]

Video; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul's interest is caught from the moment the girl starts talking. Always interested in power that can be found in the people around him which he can manipulate for his own end, this sounds perfect. She's searching for a teacher and Maul already knows he can be a damn good one when he puts his mind to it.

But then she says her name. That gives him pause as he turns on the video, his demonic features at odds with the low, smoky, and soft-spoken voice that he possesses.]

You're Rose's daughter.

[That reels him in very quickly on any plans Maul might have been having for the girl. He likes Rose quite a bit and she was immensely kind to him when he'd been turned into a small, scared child thanks to the shedding ceremony. He's not one to forget a kindness like that done to him. So while he doesn't stop plotting entirely, his effort to talk to Sharon has a much more genuine and sincere note in it.]

All of what you have said echoes what happened in my life to an uncanny degree. My powers are very similar in execution. I am Darth Maul, a Dark Lord of the Sith. My powers come from something called the Force, which is an energy field produced by all living things that can be manipulated by those sensitive to it. There is a Light Side and a Dark Side, which is not the same thing as good and evil, which I'm sure you're familiar with.

[Rose has told him just enough about that creepy cult that had manipulated her daughter for Maul know it was an eerie parallel to what goes on in his own life.]

The Dark Side believes in using our emotions and passion to fuel our abilities. The Dark is forever changing, never stagnant, promoting new growth in its acolytes. If you would like, I would be happy to teach you what I know.

[fogsong]

[ He knows Rose and that makes her more inclined to trust him.

The moment Maul mentions the Dark Side, her expression twitches, blue eyes flashing with discomfort but it fades quickly, replaced with a hesitant curiosity as he continues. He was right; she was all too familiar. The Order used terms like dark and evil interchangeably to the point that the association has stuck with her, even now so long after Alessa's burning. Worse yet, it's influenced how she views herself and her powers.

It's the way he speaks of the Dark Side of this Force that really catches her attention, though. She sits up a little taller, her interest clearly piqued. She's always been driven by feeling and her powers were always at their height when her emotions were running high; sometimes, it felt as if they fueled one another. It'd be nice to have control of that. ]

That sounds right up my alley, honestly. Yeah. [ A nod accompanies the words. Once, and then again, more certain: ] Yeah, I'd like that.

What should I know about this... Dark Side? About learning from you? [ She wants to know what to expect. ]

[survivalthroughhate]

The way I was taught is a combination of physical and mental training to strengthen both your body and your mind. They each feed into each other, you see. What I think you need is a sense of balance. Tip too far one way and your powers will be out of control. Go too far to the other side and you'll never be able to access them properly. We shall start with meditation and work our way up from there.

[He pauses. Maul's not very introspective despite wearing his emotions on his sleeve and he's never much thought about exactly what his personality is like as a teacher. But he does know he enjoys it. Thinking about it now, he realizes that the type of teacher he's always strived to be is the exact opposite of his master. Darth Sidious was cruel and sadistic, breaking Maul down so he could mold him into what he wanted him to be, which is a weapon. While Maul may be interested how the power of those around him can ultimately benefit his own agenda, he's nowhere near as heartless as his master was as a teacher.]

I do not go easy on my students. I will make you work as hard as I think is necessary to get to the point where you need to be. And that will be difficult for you. But I will also not push you past where I think your limits are.

video; un: Oracle

[adaine]

Hi, uh, this is Adaine? I fixed your iPod.

I'm not a psychic and my power wasn't something that I was born with, but I think I can help you channel it. I've sort of spent most of my life studying magic tied with prophetic visions and greater awareness and learning how to control it or even manipulate it, so... I don't know, if you're looking for greater control over your powers I can show you some of the practices that helped me.

Plus blood magic might be able to help.

[fogsong]

[ Her eyes light up in recognition and she smiles. ]

Hey, Adaine. I'd like that. I'm kind of open to trying everything right now. If it doesn't help, well... [ She shrugs her shoulders. ] I'm not really out anything.

But this is a good chance for me to learn how other people deal with their powers. [ Even if it doesn't help, she might be able to adopt some of the practices with adjustment to fit her needs. ]

[adaine]

Cool! [New friend...?]

I can meet you over at the School of Mutter? That's generally where I stay. That or the orphanage. There's facilities there for this kind of thing.

video; un: lady

[dohaeris]

[sansa is quite poised and fashionably dressed, as usual, but with a sympathetic twist to her mouth, not quite a smile.]

Hallo, I'm called Alayne Stone, and I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with your powers. I too seek control over my own, which come to me in dreams, and Lord Sasuke has promised to help. I would recommend you speak to him. I can also speak to Adaine's prowess with magic and capability as a tutor.

[fogsong]

[ It catches Sharon just how apt Alayne's username is. ]

Thanks, Alayne. I'm glad my trust in Adaine is well placed and I'll look into contacting... uh... Sasuke. [ She can't bring herself to call anyone a lord, even if they are one. ]

Do you dream of things that haven't happened yet, too?

[dohaeris]

[her wolf's name was simply safer than one of her own.]

I suppose I dream of things as they happen, and wake up to learn the dreams were true.

[she will leave out the wolf bits for now.]

Are your dreams very different?

[she knows about daenys the dreamer, and so has some understanding of prophetic dreams, but she thinks it might be better to let sharon explain the dreams for herself.]

video; un: jk21a

[hearuthinking]

[He snorts a little at her first words]

Yeah. That was a fuckin' ball. But we got outta there, and that's what counts.

I barely understand whatever the fuck my paleblood does for me, but I hope you find someone to help you.

[fogsong]

Achievement unlocked. [ A grin. She never wants to get stuck underground again any time soon but if she had to, she wouldn't mind having Jason to watch her back again. ]

Hey, do you want me to keep an ear out for someone who can help you? I'm sure I'll reel in a couple. [ She hasn't spent much time considering her own blood powers, too wrapped up in the ones she'd received the moment she'd absorbed Alessa into herself. ] You got anything figured out about it?

[hearuthinking]

Sorta. I can hear people's thoughts, but it kinda comes and goes. Someone I was with in the catacombs said he had fire and ice powers, which sounds a hell of a lot more bad-ass.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Maul has already mentioned what is called Force use where we come from.

As someone who didn't start any sort of training until I was 14, that does sound a lot like instinctive untrained Force use.

But most of my training is under the traditions of the Jedi, not the Sith.

The Jedi perspective would be that part of gaining control over your abilities is understanding the emotions that are activating your abilities.

[fogsong]

[ It's a relief to know that she's not the only one in life to get a slow start understanding her abilities. But this Jedi/Sith Force thing, she's not seeing much of a difference between the two. Both have to do with dealing with emotions but there's clearly more to it. ]

So, what are all the differences here? Between the way the Jedi do things and the way the Sith do.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He rubs the back of his neck.]

I want to be clear that, historically, there were a lot of different traditions and sects about the Force and abilities like the one we're talking about. So even where I'm from, Jedi and Sith weren't the only options. Just old and somewhat better known ones, to the random average person in my native galaxy.

And I also want to be clear if I try to teach you anything — and I'm going to go out of a limb here and say this is true for my fellow Jedi here, too - that the point won't be to teach you to be a Jedi. That's traditionally a commitment, a way of life. We certainly haven't sat down together and talked about trying to guide people onto that path, who weren't on it before they got here.

It seems to me that goal would be to help you get some control, and to feel more comfortable. Beyond that would be a whole other conversation, at the very least.

All that said, there's my quick take on Jedi versus Sith. The Sith way is: embrace your emotions. Hold onto them. Use them to fuel for your abilities, and that can make you powerful. And that's all...true. To a point.

The problem is that emotions like fear and anger and even hate are primary emotions that are easy to hold onto. Now, any emotion can arise is any of us, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. But if you feed an emotion, you cultivate it, and deliberately act on - that's a choice.

That's what a Jedi means, when we talk about using the Dark Side. That choice, which can become a cycle, so other feelings gets snuffed out under whatever emotions you're holding onto tightly, to use your abilities.

The Jedi way is - as I said, there's no just stopping feeling things. That's part of being flesh and blood sentients. And they're a valuable part of existing like we do! But feelings are not all we are, and you don't have to cling to emotions to reach for abilities that are part of you. Practice, focus, working to understand yourself, that will help you reach your potential. In fact, if you cultivate calm and composure, that can lead you to clearer thinking that help you make choices you can feel good about.

Now, being a Jedi involves a commitment to compassion and service. But to a student who is not a Jedi, I'd emphasize mindfulness and self-knowledge alongside techniques for specific abilities.

Does that help at all?

voice | un: karma

[torpour]

[well, he was right-- she's a trouble magnet, isn't she? though he does sympathize, given his recent struggles with his own paleblood. and he does have some experience in teaching people how to deal with their abilities...]

That's not something easily conveyed over the Omni, unfortunately-- and not done in quick, easy steps. [then he sighs deeply.] But I do know the struggles, when I only started working on a difficult but innate ability of mine here, in Trench. It's not the same as yours, but I believe the principles and underlying needs are the same-- control.

That is to say... I use healing magic.

[fogsong]

[ It's starting to seem normal to struggle some with one's abilities. She feels less out of place. ]

The best things are never quick and easy, even if it'd be nice. [ Sharon would genuinely love for someone in Trench to have some magic fix-all when it came to her powers. A few words and bam, she's a goddess of control. But she knows better. ]

It is a little weird to think the same thing needed for something like healing magic can be necessary for more destructive abilities. It feels like they should need different things. [ But, no, control is control. ]

[torpour]

Control is control, whether it's a mental ability or physical one. But I'd say abilities you need to control with your mind are far more difficult to master.

But I wouldn't call your abilities destructive. They only seem to be because you cant control them. Yet.