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text; un: harbinger
welp
looks like we found the new october
[Immediate kill bill sirens at the lack of sunrise tbh.]
if you're not stocked up on supplies do it sooner rather than later
before the other shoe drops and it gets too dangerous to go outside
last time the sun didn't come up it it came with everyone's running water all turning to blood and nobody could sleep while monsters were prowling around anywhere you could get food and attacking your place if you ran out of incense
just because it's quiet now doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way
be careful
[About ten minutes later, the post gets edited with an addendum:]
also i guess if you can't fight and end up needing shit, lemme know
[Look he can't just offer help publicly and not act at least a little grouchy about it. Who do you take him for, Ruby?]
looks like we found the new october
[Immediate kill bill sirens at the lack of sunrise tbh.]
if you're not stocked up on supplies do it sooner rather than later
before the other shoe drops and it gets too dangerous to go outside
last time the sun didn't come up it it came with everyone's running water all turning to blood and nobody could sleep while monsters were prowling around anywhere you could get food and attacking your place if you ran out of incense
just because it's quiet now doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way
be careful
[About ten minutes later, the post gets edited with an addendum:]
also i guess if you can't fight and end up needing shit, lemme know
[Look he can't just offer help publicly and not act at least a little grouchy about it. Who do you take him for, Ruby?]
do u wanna action
sure thing, kiddo
absolutely!!
[ At least that's easier to send, though it still takes a few moments of trying to make herself look a little bit more representable and making sure she's got her gunsword with her in case they do run into something dangerous out there before she heads down the stairs towards the door.
If Qrow happens to be just a moment later, he'll get to see a rather new rare sight. Not the slight paleness of Ange's skin or the still visible dark circles under her eyes - those have been there for the past few weeks already, though they seem to be born more from mental exhaustion than corruption, thankfully - but the way the girl is standing there with closed eyes and balled up fists, mouthing words without actually speaking them, looking every bit like she's almost childishly trying to encourage herself for a moment or two.
It's only when she opens her eyes after said moment that she spots the man there, fluster moving across her face before she sucks in a breath. ]
Oh. Um. Thanks for being willing to come with me. [ She definitely seems a bit more meek than the usual, but even that hasn't been such a strange thing to see from Ange during the past while. At least it's been easier to not be so bothered by showing that relative meekness to the people she's close to here in the house. ]
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All the same, he does raise a slight eyebrow when she thanks him for being willing to come with her. He supposes he understands why she'd be especially insecure about the people that matter to her right about now, but he's not about to just let that comment stand. Which is to say, he steps forward and ruffles her hair that she just carefully made presentable. It's all messy now, no regrets.]
C'mon kiddo, you know you don't have to thank me for that kind of thing.
[He doesn't say we're family out loud, knowing this isn't the right time, but it is being Very Loudly Implied just about now.]
Let's go.
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Ange doesn't seem to mind it though. In fact, it might be surprising that she doesn't even complain about him messing up her hair, even though she totally would have if she were in a normal mood. Maybe in this case the sense of closeness it brings totally outdoes any and all mess it might cause.
Because Ange isn't stupid. She can pick up on what he's trying to say here as it hangs heavily above the words he speaks and that slight action - and it's something she needs so much in this moment. When she had been thrown so heavily back into the memories of her dead family, any reminder of the fact that she still has one here is a good one.
So she follows him out without hesitation, making sure to walk right next to him as soon as they're out - though Ange's gaze travels up to look at the sky. ]
.. It really is dark out.
[ It's something she already saw from behind the windows, but this is the first time she's gone out of the house this month to see it in person like this, so she can't help but remark it. ]
I guess.. if this is going to be anything like October back in Deerington, then there will probably be a lot of corruption, huh? [ After all, this place does sometimes mess with them by throwing monsters at them.
But it seems to like it so much more to manipulate them from the inside. ]
It'll probably be good to all keep an eye on each other to try and stop that.
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Probably, yeah.
[Qrow isn't quite aware of it yet, but there's already been a low level of corruption simmering within him ever since they found Willow's corpse at the end of February, leaving him more impatient and aggressive than usual. Even so, he feels solid and untroubled right now, with a clear purpose and goal in sight.]
Helps that we'll all be in the same place from the start this time. And we know to stay inside as much as we can.
cw: mention of past suicidal ideation
It's true, after all. She thinks of her first October in Deerington, back when she was still all by herself. It was so utterly miserable that she almost contemplated dying, just to get away from it for a little bit - even if it did never last long in Deerington. But this time.. even if this month goes really badly, she'll be with all these people she cares about. She won't be alone.
It ought to make a difference. ]
I think those bonds really help too. If I didn't have the one I have with Ruby, then.. everything last month might have gone very differently. [ Without that soothing influence on her, who knows what might have happened? For all Ange knows, she could have hit the corruption ceiling right away when Sayo told her news that felt like it shattered her world, turning her into a monster on the spot.
She pauses, and then looks over at the man. ]
.. did you form one with her as well?
[ Ange could imagine that, especially with how protective Qrow is of Ruby. Their familial non-Trench-bond is already so strong that it's the bond Ange can imagine the other making the most, no matter how much of a private person Qrow seems to be in his own way. ]
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...We never really talked about it.
[He starts walking again almost immediately after the answer. If Ruby had asked him, he wouldn't have said no. There is precious little in this world he would ever deny her, ultimately. But she hadn't asked, and in some ways he's more comfortable with things like this. His own mind is a miserable place to be, and Ruby already has so much on her shoulders he'd hate to add himself as an additional burden. Perhaps it's cowardly for him not to have pursued it, but he's not...quite prepared for anyone else to be tuned into his mental state at any given moment. Not even Break, not yet.]
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It makes Ange pause too. Not in walking, since she's still going, but in the conversation. Just for a moment. Because she has to think here. She could point it out, but on the other hand, maybe it's easier for Qrow to not talk about it, especially with someone he considers part of his group of kids.
Then again.. some things are better said, rather than forever suppressed. It's a hard thing to weigh in this moment, but then she slowly speaks up again. ]
Do you not like the idea of them..?
[ She doesn't leave it at that though. Perhaps in an attempt to make the question a little less direct, or the impact of it a little less harsh, she adds: ]
That wouldn't be strange, you know. I asked someone else if she wanted to form a bond with me, but she turned down the idea because she doesn't trust them. [ Which had been super awkward a little hurtful in the moment, but look, Qrow is not the only person who can downplay things, clearly. ]
feel free 2 ignore if this is too crusty
It's...not so much that I don't trust it. I mean, that's the kind of thing that could happen to us any time, around here.
[His arm is still rubbing idly at the back of his neck. He really would prefer to never acknowledge having feelings about anything, at all, ever, but to be loved requires the mortifying ordeal of being known, yadda yadda, etc.]
Just--y'know...it's permanent, right? That's kind of a lot to ask of someone. To have to deal with ... everything, all the time...forever.
[clearly His Shit is worse than anything he would have to deal with on his end, of course. that's just how it works when you have The Depressions.]
please i will take every opportunity to burst into your inbox like the koolaid man
There's absolutely no way Qrow is concerned about dealing with 'everything' coming from the other person, as long as it's someone he's close to. He's obviously concerned about the other party having to deal with his everything. She can tell without him having to say it. ]
I.. [ She slowly starts. ] I think we both know that Ruby would never mind dealing with any part of you. Even if it's forever.
[ That's how Ruby is, after all. Ange knows the way she talks about Qrow, or the way she looks at him. He means so much to that girl. ]
But I understand it could still be a lot.
[ Because even when you figure that the other might not mind, it could be hard to step over your own idea about that. It's one thing to know things rationally, and another to know things emotionally. She could see how Qrow might struggle with it from his awkward admission here, even though she's fully well aware he knows Ruby loves him to no end.
There's a faint moment of hesitation, since Ange sure doesn't want to make this all about her, but she figures that this might help a little. Just to share in the experience for a moment. Especially when Qrow seems to be taking her seriously enough here to discuss this in a serious way with her, rather than dismissing her for being so much younger.
Maybe it means he might see some merit in hearing about her own experiences with it, since it's not like connecting with people is the easiest thing in the world for Ange either, even if the reasons behind it may be a little different. ]
For me.. I figured that Ruby had already seen the worst of me, you know? And she's always been willing to put up with me, despite that. So making the bond on top of it didn't feel like going a step further anymore.
eeeeexcellent
Just because she'd be willing to put up with all that doesn't mean she should have to.
[He sighs. Maria told him once that he was underestimating her. He probably sounds like he is again now, and he doesn't mean to, but the fact remains that he's still more than twice her age, that he's her uncle, and she shouldn't have to deal with that constant onslaught of bullshit in his own head. He remembers how worried she got about him, back in Brunswick Farms, when he'd really hit bottom ... but it's not as though he isn't still a mess, even if he's doing better these days.
Qrow stops walking, finally, but he doesn't turn to look at her, staring up at that daytime moon instead. Let yourself be something new, huh. Easier said than done, at times.]
...I don't know if Ruby ever told you, but I had ... problems, with drinking, for years. Things were -- rough, after her mom died, and --
[His voice catches for a moment, there. He himself only rarely talks about Summer, or what the family went through after she was gone. It's difficult to remember those early days when the grief was raw and fresh, even all these years later.]
She's had to worry about me for a long, long time, is all. I don't want her to have to do it more, now that she's finally got a chance to relax and live her own life.
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Especially since she does know that Ruby's past has been a little muddy. Maybe Ange doesn't know every single detail, but she doesn't have to. Somewhere between the way Ruby speaks about it, and the way Qrow speaks about it, she knows enough without having to know everything. Just the gist by itself is enough.
She folds her hands together as she thinks, this time not really saying anything about herself or giving advice when she speaks up. Instead she just asks: ]
Then.. how do you see your ideal version of the kind of relationship you'd like to have with Ruby now?
[ Sure, there's already hints of it sprinkled in everything he says. But rather than Ange wanting to hear the answer, it's more that she might want him to have to think about it a little concretely here, helping him work his way through his thoughts. ]
And do you think she would have the same idea of it?
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Qrow shifts uncomfortably at the question, and for a moment appears to be visibly floundering. He's never really thought about ideal circumstances in just about anything in life, always looking toward the worst case scenarios and damage mitigation instead. One of the key factors in his decision to stop drinking was to distance himself from that worst version of himself, after all.]
I...
[He has to close his eyes a moment, to steady himself.]
I'd like to be someone she can always count on. I didn't always do the best job of that.
[The second half of that question is quietly dodged.]
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But on the other hand.. she knows that you just sometimes have to bite the bullet and actually talk about this stuff. You can't just crop it up forever, or you just get lost over and over again in your own dumb feelings. Feelings that might be resolved if you were able to just talk about them, or maybe act on them a little. She's not planning on pushing this too far if at all possible, but just this little bit.. This doesn't feel like it's too far just yet, even if it might be a little uncomfortable for him. ]
I know I'm not Ruby. [ And that - therefore - Ange can't technically speak for her, no matter how close she and Ruby are. ] But.. I think you're plenty reliable for her now.
[ From Ange's point of view. For what that's worth.
Her fingers on one hand idly play with her fingers on the other as she speaks, glancing up at the dark sky. ]
Being able to count on someone has nothing to do with sometimes doing something for them in return. It's just.. about knowing that someone is always there when you need them. And I think Ruby knows that she can come to you here whenever she has a problem. Helping you once or twice in return doesn't just make that option disappear.
[ .. there's a faint pause, but then Ange slowly exhales. ]
Anyway, that's just what I think. [ Maybe she's trying to lift a little bit of weight off the talk, so it's not too much for poor mister feelings bird over here.. ] I can't say I'm an expert with tons of experience with this sort of thing, but sometimes it can help to hear things from a third party's perspective, I guess.