audio ; un: a.solo

[hopesparks]

[ There's a faint sound of wind in the background of his broadcast, as if he's sitting somewhere up high. ]

Hello. Again. [ Oof, okay, not the strongest start. ] I'm Anakin Solo, a knight of the Jedi Order, at your service. I sort of remember being here before, and I wanted to thank everyone who helped me out.

They offered me a bed at the orphanage, but I don't want to take it from someone who might need it.
How does housing work here, exactly? I don't mind sleeping outside, but that doesn't seem wise in the long run.

[ A pause. ]

By the way, I don't remember the sky being like this before-- is this normal? As normal as anything is here, I mean.

[ Another pause. He's clearly not in his element. ]

Thanks again.

[ The feed ends. ]


( ooc: let me know if you want to keep his tdm thread! i'm cool either way. )

Comments

[jedies]

[ that's what he thought. ]

You're not too strong. All Jedi influence the environment when their emotions get the better of them. What you need to learn is to be master of your own emotions. To change and evolve as they do.

Burying them or pushing them behind as a new crisis keeps coming will only result in your worst outcome.

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin feels himself deflate and the agitation and frustration wash away.

"Better now?"

He wants to argue that there is a difference but, as he's building up the argument, it starts to sound like an excuse. He hates excuses.

"Time to swallow your pride, I think?"

But it's not his problem.

He's fallen into a silence that's a mix of contemplative and sullen in a way only a teenager can manage. ]

[jedies]

[ a sight obi-wan is very much used to. he eyes him contemplatively for a few silent minutes. ]

It's up to you, of course. But a Jedi should always know when to let go.

[hopesparks]

[ He's quiet for a moment longer.

The he sighs, decision made. His posture shifts from a deflated almost-slump into a slight bow. ]

I know I need to do the work, but I'd appreciate any guidance you have for me, Master Kenobi.

[ If his anger is, in fact, a ticking time bomb, he'd rather disarm it before it takes everyone around him with him. ]

[jedies]

[ he inclines his head politely. ]

Then you shall have it.

[hopesparks]

[ When Anakin straightens again, his defenses have gone down. Instead of the grandson of the Chosen One, son of two of the most famous rebels in the galaxy, nephew of the Grand Master of the Jedi Order, knight of the Order and apprentice to the Grand Master...

... it's just Anakin now. The person Obi-Wan had seen from the jump, even when he'd been trying to fool everyone else into thinking he was more okay that he really is. It's both freeing and exhausting. ]

Thank you.

[ There's a faint smile on his face. His expressions are still subtle, but he's no longer trying to hide any of them. ]

Is this something you do with every one of your houseguests?

[ A levity that is there just to be there, not to fill a void or hide a fear. ]

[jedies]

I'd be a poor host otherwise.

[ never mind that he's only owned a home for a year or so. ]

[hopesparks]

How many of them come back?

[jedies]

Some do. This is not a place people have to stay in, but a place people can find refuge if need be.

[hopesparks]

You don't get tired of all of the visitors?

[ Anakin prefers to be alone from time to time-- he can't imagine constantly having the door open to everyone. ]

[jedies]

Why would I?

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin's expression turns sheepish. ]

It seems tiring. Especially if everyone who visits does, well, what I just did.

[ Losing his temper, arguing, having a minor breakdown. ]

[jedies]

You're assuming that I receive large crowds or multiple visitors. Do you think I'm that popular?

[hopesparks]

I don't see why you wouldn't be.

[jedies]

I doubt people are lining up to meet an old man.

[hopesparks]

You're not old, Master Kenobi.

[ Anakin readjusts the strap of his bag. ]

Is there somewhere I can put my stuff down?

[jedies]

Anywhere you like. I have a few extra rooms.

[hopesparks]

Thank you.

[ He disappears down the hallway to find an unoccupied room. It doesn't take long, and he returns to the main living area not long after, having removed his boots and outer cloak. Even though he has a room now, he's not sure he can sleep. ]

[jedies]

Everything all right?

[hopesparks]

Yeah.

[ He hesitates. ] Just overwhelmed. And there's something my grandfather said that I'm stuck on.

[jedies]

[ hmm. ]

What did he say?

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin sits down and sorts out his thoughts. ]

He said that Jedi can't have family. That love and attachment are forbidden.

[jedies]

[ ah. obi-wan frowns. ]

That's rather reductive of him and he should know better. Attachments such as possessing people and fear of letting them go is forbidden. But the Jedi have always been a family. We all grew up together.

It's simply that our family differs from the traditional kind. It's true that we don't get married but that is simply because we give an oath to the Order.

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin nods minutely. Most of it makes sense to him and echoes what he was already taught. Possession isn't love. Fear is to be respected but mastered.

It's the last part that he's a bit stuck on. ]

That's the part that I'm a little stuck on. [ Slowly: ] The thought process is that you can't honor both vows fully if you have both at the same time?

[jedies]

It's not as though you can't. It's the temptation is strong. Jedi commit to selflessness.

But at the same time, to expect others to put aside their family for that is a difficult calling.