audio, un: blue

[firstroar]

content warning: suicidal ideation



They're gone for good. Yuri...Flynn...

[audio on the Omni can pick up the ambient sounds of churning ocean waves - not the gentle ones of the beach, but the crashing white water along the cliffs. now and then, there's a little distortion from gusts of wind.

Blue speaks in a soft monotone:]

The bond...our bond... Knots undone, but...tethers remain. Dangle. Disconnected.

If I hadn't...become what I became... If this place...wasn't so much for them, then...then, maybe... They could've been happy.

[there's a lapse into silence, save for that ambient sound.]

Where can I go...what can I do? To make it permanent.

My death.

[...]

If I...relinquished my body...to the Tower. Would it protect everyone? From my psionics. Something within that creature's power...

[...]

But then...we wouldn't have encountered those mad Sleepers. The ones whose minds are abuzz with zeal for the Tower itself. Feeding it.

[another long silence with the sea.]

Surely...someone knows. Someone here...can do it. End me. [the monotone starts to get stilted with emotion.] Before I hurt anyone else. Like the monster...I was always feared to be.

Until then, I'll... Keep trying.

Until it sticks. And you're all...a little safer.

Comments

[firstroar]

Such things... [exhale.] The decision to love, to protect...is precisely at the root of the problem. My nature. Believing I'm doing right...but not seeing the harm done.

If I must erase it, then...I should. Those memories. Take them with me.

[the_obedient_servant]

Exactly right.

Like what you're doing right now, hmm?

[There's no kindness in the child's voice. There's no fear, or grief, or worry, or even empathy. It's scorn. Pure and simple, like they're talking to a mirror.]

[firstroar]

[no answer right away, save for the water and a few shaky breaths.]

Even...deciding to endure...will not fill this hole in me. Even deciding...to escape...won't free me from the feeling.

And even...wishing to follow them...I can't? Why...

[the_obedient_servant]

For the exact reason that life is so horrible. It's unfair, and cruel. And it takes from you without remorse.

Your final moments will follow you forever. There is no correct answer. Would you choose to abandon those you have for those you've lost, leaving scars that will never heal? Or do you choose to put your trust in them, even knowing that you might come to regret it and do more damage by continuing to exist?

Only you can choose to surrender or to keep fighting for a more favourable outcome. Neither option will make you a hero.

[firstroar]

[another exhale.

hero? that wasn't even a thought. it makes him wonder...what was he just talking about? surely not anything heroic.]

I can't...follow these words anymore. Disconnected. No feeling, no thought anymore. [are they even real?] But...feelings are what...caused all of this.

There is...no way out, but I need it.

Someone must know.

[the_obedient_servant]

Must know what?

[firstroar]

How to make it last.

Death.

To stop the cycle...for at least one. One Sleeper. One power. Make them...like the other creatures here. The ones who find their ends.