Entry tags:
audio, un: blue
content warning: suicidal ideation
They're gone for good. Yuri...Flynn...
[audio on the Omni can pick up the ambient sounds of churning ocean waves - not the gentle ones of the beach, but the crashing white water along the cliffs. now and then, there's a little distortion from gusts of wind.
Blue speaks in a soft monotone:]
The bond...our bond... Knots undone, but...tethers remain. Dangle. Disconnected.
If I hadn't...become what I became... If this place...wasn't so much for them, then...then, maybe... They could've been happy.
[there's a lapse into silence, save for that ambient sound.]
Where can I go...what can I do? To make it permanent.
My death.
[...]
If I...relinquished my body...to the Tower. Would it protect everyone? From my psionics. Something within that creature's power...
[...]
But then...we wouldn't have encountered those mad Sleepers. The ones whose minds are abuzz with zeal for the Tower itself. Feeding it.
[another long silence with the sea.]
Surely...someone knows. Someone here...can do it. End me. [the monotone starts to get stilted with emotion.] Before I hurt anyone else. Like the monster...I was always feared to be.
Until then, I'll... Keep trying.
Until it sticks. And you're all...a little safer.
They're gone for good. Yuri...Flynn...
[audio on the Omni can pick up the ambient sounds of churning ocean waves - not the gentle ones of the beach, but the crashing white water along the cliffs. now and then, there's a little distortion from gusts of wind.
Blue speaks in a soft monotone:]
The bond...our bond... Knots undone, but...tethers remain. Dangle. Disconnected.
If I hadn't...become what I became... If this place...wasn't so much for them, then...then, maybe... They could've been happy.
[there's a lapse into silence, save for that ambient sound.]
Where can I go...what can I do? To make it permanent.
My death.
[...]
If I...relinquished my body...to the Tower. Would it protect everyone? From my psionics. Something within that creature's power...
[...]
But then...we wouldn't have encountered those mad Sleepers. The ones whose minds are abuzz with zeal for the Tower itself. Feeding it.
[another long silence with the sea.]
Surely...someone knows. Someone here...can do it. End me. [the monotone starts to get stilted with emotion.] Before I hurt anyone else. Like the monster...I was always feared to be.
Until then, I'll... Keep trying.
Until it sticks. And you're all...a little safer.
[ video | un: keith ]
Blue... I don't- I don't think that's really the answer to all of this.
no subject
You don't deserve that. None of you do.
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[Keith frowned.]
Besides, you did help me. Even if things weren't the best of circumstances, you still helped me at least connect with my Omen. You gave me another way to protect myself. That counts for something. I don't know that I would have figured it out without your help.
no subject
That power...was always in you. Whether I saw it or not. I did nothing...but observe it. [and thank goodness; looking back, he could've done so much worse. taking copies of those memories alone...what if he had altered them to suit his distorted wishes?!]
no subject
no subject
I don't...want to be one more. And lose...even more I care about.
no subject
[Keith swallowed hard. He'd lost a lot already in his life.]
Please. Don't do it.
no subject
[there's a lengthy pause.
quietly:] You would still...call me that? [has he called him that before?]
no subject
[Keith looked down for a moment.]
Sometimes, even when we're just trying to do our best and do what we think is the right thing, we make mistakes. It happens. But, as long as we learn from it, mistakes aren't unforgivable. And friends, we... [He looked back at the screen again.] ...we forgive each other.
no subject
(that's what humans do all the time, though; trust what is spoken and believe in what they cannot directly perceive - something Blue himself just has no practice in after all these long years a Mu)
he doesn't deserve that kindness, does he?
as long as we learn from it, mistakes aren't unforgiveable.]
...What have I learned, Keith.
no subject
But... I think... if anything, I would hope that you've learned that you have people who care about you, and don't want to see you... you know... [Try to die permanently.]
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They... Will they come back? This place...hurt them so much. I did, too. How long...am I supposed to wait?
[he exhales.]
...No... No one will know. Maybe it's...better. That they stay gone. That's...the lesson.
no subject
This place isn't good for anyone. But... I don't think they left because of what you did. They would have known it wasn't your fault. That it was because of this place. I don't think they're upset with you. And I'm sure that they didn't like seeing you blame yourself.
no subject
No, I... I suppose they wouldn't. [even if he hurt them. because they were still at the shore when he reformed and washed up.]
no subject
So... please? Don't keep hurting yourself like this?
no subject
i don't know how, he thinks, but giving voice to it is beyond him in the moment.
the best he can offer Keith right now is a faint sound over the sea noises before his attention is diverted to someone actually there in the world with him, approaching.
the connection is cut.]
no subject
He'd have to check in on him later to see if he was okay.]