firstroar: (ᴇɴᴅᴜʀᴇ)
sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ BLUE ([personal profile] firstroar) wrote in [community profile] deernet2022-04-04 06:20 am

audio, un: blue

content warning: suicidal ideation



They're gone for good. Yuri...Flynn...

[audio on the Omni can pick up the ambient sounds of churning ocean waves - not the gentle ones of the beach, but the crashing white water along the cliffs. now and then, there's a little distortion from gusts of wind.

Blue speaks in a soft monotone:]


The bond...our bond... Knots undone, but...tethers remain. Dangle. Disconnected.

If I hadn't...become what I became... If this place...wasn't so much for them, then...then, maybe... They could've been happy.

[there's a lapse into silence, save for that ambient sound.]

Where can I go...what can I do? To make it permanent.

My death.

[...]

If I...relinquished my body...to the Tower. Would it protect everyone? From my psionics. Something within that creature's power...

[...]

But then...we wouldn't have encountered those mad Sleepers. The ones whose minds are abuzz with zeal for the Tower itself. Feeding it.

[another long silence with the sea.]

Surely...someone knows. Someone here...can do it. End me. [the monotone starts to get stilted with emotion.] Before I hurt anyone else. Like the monster...I was always feared to be.

Until then, I'll... Keep trying.

Until it sticks. And you're all...a little safer.
tempredmental: (It Worked?)

[ video | un: keith ]

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-04-06 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
[That was... concerning. And, considering how they'd just come out from under Blue's corruption, Keith was worried about him dropping down that path again. Diluc might have only believed that killing was the answer, but Keith wanted to try talking him down first...]

Blue... I don't- I don't think that's really the answer to all of this.
tempredmental: (Impressed)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-04-08 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
You were just trying to keep people safe. You didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.

[Keith frowned.]

Besides, you did help me. Even if things weren't the best of circumstances, you still helped me at least connect with my Omen. You gave me another way to protect myself. That counts for something. I don't know that I would have figured it out without your help.
tempredmental: duskfallicons @ DW (No Wait Don't)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-04-09 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
You helped me find it. [Keith frowned a bit, visibly concerned.] Blue, you are not some kind of crazed monster. People here care about you. You'd be taking away their choice to spend time with you.
tempredmental: (Planning for Launch)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-04-22 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
And I don't want to lose a friend.

[Keith swallowed hard. He'd lost a lot already in his life.]

Please. Don't do it.
tempredmental: (I Hope You Guys Get This)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-05-02 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Yes.

[Keith looked down for a moment.]

Sometimes, even when we're just trying to do our best and do what we think is the right thing, we make mistakes. It happens. But, as long as we learn from it, mistakes aren't unforgivable. And friends, we... [He looked back at the screen again.] ...we forgive each other.
tempredmental: (Planning for Launch)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-05-06 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know. That's... that can be different for each person. It's up to you.

But... I think... if anything, I would hope that you've learned that you have people who care about you, and don't want to see you... you know... [Try to die permanently.]
tempredmental: (Planning for Launch)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-05-22 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Keith lowered his gaze for a moment.]

This place isn't good for anyone. But... I don't think they left because of what you did. They would have known it wasn't your fault. That it was because of this place. I don't think they're upset with you. And I'm sure that they didn't like seeing you blame yourself.
tempredmental: (Uh Well I Guess I'm Okay)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-05-29 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
[Keith nodded.]

So... please? Don't keep hurting yourself like this?
tempredmental: (Worried Waiting)

[personal profile] tempredmental 2022-05-30 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
[Keith put his head down when the connection ended. He wasn't sure if he'd heard it right, but it had sounded like an acknowledgement and maybe someone else being there with him in person. He hoped it was someone friendly, someone who could help. He sighed softly.

He'd have to check in on him later to see if he was okay.]