( accidental video | un: duckling )

[danserai]

[ it's a dark and — well it's just a dark month and ahiru never really functions well in the dark. she gets spooked easily which is sort of what happens here. a sequence of events, by a duck.

1. she enters the kitchen. the lights are off and she bumps into various furniture. ]

Ow ow ow ow —

[ 2. her hand brushes against a coat hanging on top of a chair. in her mind, she imagines a snake.

3. She panics and lets out a loud: ]

Quack!

[ 4. ahiru ends up turning into a duck on screen. gasp! not that she has realized she's being recorded.

5. she quickly waddles off and there's the sound of water and she comes back into the kitchen with a relief. ]

— Phew that was clo . . . ooooose, O-Odette! Were you displaying this the whole time?! A-Ah!!

[ ahiru immediately runs in front of the feed, waving her hands frantically. ]

You didn't see that! There's nothing to see! It was . . . uh, uh, a MYSTERY DUCK that broke into the house but it's gone now!

[ alas, ahiru has been well and truly outed as . . . a duck. ]

Comments

[foulhussy]

[ How many times has Kainé thought this? How often has she pleaded quietly, that she shouldn't be treated this way, just because of the body she had? Too often to count. ]

...It's a part of you. It's not something you should ever feel ashamed of. You're the one that gets to choose who you are.

[danserai]

I mean . . . I don't really get to choose.

The magic just lets me do that.

[foulhussy]

No, I mean... what it means to you. How you decide to live, with the choices you have.

[danserai]

[ ahiru sighs. ]

Yeah. It's always me. No matter what I look like. Everyone says so too.

It's still hard, though. Being human is so much fun, but being a duck is . . . lonely.

[foulhussy]

You can't talk to anybody, can you?

[ Kainé never lost her physical ability to speak, but she's been alone for so long and kept so many secrets that the parallel immediately leaps to mind. ]

[danserai]

No. I don't have any ability to communicate with people as a duck.

[foulhussy]

...It really hurts to be closed off.

[danserai]

[ exactly. kaine understood that. very few people seemed to, but not in a mean way so ahiru hadn't said much about it. she nods slowly. ]

As a duck, I'd watch people. Dancing, having fun . . . I wanted to join in. Just like they did.

[foulhussy]

Did you get jealous? Did you resent them?

[danserai]

[ ahiru shakes her head frantically. ]

No, of course not! I just wanted to join them. I would never be angry or hate them for it.

[foulhussy]

[ Kainé grins ruefully. ]

You're pretty strong then. I did.

[danserai]

[ she's not sure about that, but — ]

I think you had a harder time. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with getting angry and upset. It's your feelings. They matter.