text - un: ilikemeat

[velvet_teen]

content warnings: discussion of menstruation and puberty, baus-related beast transformation, complex yet flippant feelings about dead mom stuff

[ Alice's body has been up to some distressing changes. She's under the impression that every single one of them are normal things that happen to a young maiden of a certain age, which is not entirely correct. She has questions, and absolutely does not trust any of the people she lives with to give her a correct answer. Hence, the decision to ask absolutely everyone in Trench at once, because shame is something that happens to other people. ]


I have that disease where you feel like crap and then blood clumps come out of your downstairs bits. How do you stop feeling so crap? This keeps happening every month and I'm fed up with it. My stomach hurts and I don't want to eat all the stuff I usually want to eat. Some of you old people have to know what to do about this, right??

I keep itching and growing hair in new places, too, when is that over with?

And you can't make fun of me for not knowing anything because I don't have a mom because she is dead, and also I will kick your butt if you make fun of me.

[ Yeah, that's a good way to ask for help. She has to be aggressive!! Otherwise people won't take her seriously!! ]

Comments

[velvet_teen]

[ Ruby, several women have banded together to present Alice the true hard facts about life she requires and you too must know the truth about the relationship between their respective old men: ]

Impossible. The clown would never do taxes. If he has to fill out paperwork he always cons someone else into doing it for him. Qrow is definitely doing all the real work while the clown sits back and has a good time.

I know a lot about complicated eyes. Do you wear a patch over your eye because one is magic and can shoot lasers but you can't turn it off? I saw a cartoon on my Omni where a guy had that and had to wear special glasses. I think if you have an eye like that it's clever of you to only have it on one eye because if your glasses fall off you can just wink it all of the time.

Do you have the same dad or just the same uncle?

[ Alice is swimming in so much found family dynamics that this last one could be considered an entirely reasonable question. ]

[onekindsoul]

[Ruby is aware of the truth but that doesn't mean that she has to accept it. They can be as romantic as they want but she's going to assume those acts are completely wholesome. She would go blind in her other eye she went beyond that.]

I don't know about that. I'm pretty sure my uncle only commits tax fraud. I think he's pretty anti-establishment like that. ...Or no one ever actually told him he has to pay them.

Not exactly! Uh- Both my eyes are or were magic before. I could shoot like light of them and it could vaporize, stun or turn the monsters of my world to stone. I have the patch because... Well when I was in the dream I lost it. ...A friend was being manipulated and cut it out.

Those sunglasses sound like an awesome idea though. Maybe I should get like a monocle and do it with my good eye. I'd look all prim and proper then.

We have the same dad! Uncle Qrow just well decided to be my Uncle so I wouldn't feel left out I think.

[velvet_teen]

I see. So the reason they keep spending so much time together in private is because they keep having to come up with new stories together for the taxman. Adult life seems difficult.

[ Not having certain powers in Trench makes perfect sense. If she doesn't have them, though, she can't show them off, so that's not as interesting. One's friend taking out a body part also makes a certain amount of sense, as does Qrow absorbing unclehood on principle. Ruby leads a very sensible life. ]

People get real weird about eyes. You might as well put a monocle on top to stop people getting grabby at the good one.

[onekindsoul]

It seems like a huge pain in he butt. Really not looking forward to getting that old myself.

[She does not think her life is very sensible but she doesn't try to make a lot of sense of it.]

They really do. There's a few people in my world that have some real issues with my eyes.

I bet I could look real dignified with a monocle. Maybe we should both get them? We can have a have a rich person party with Ange.