TEXT - un; apparition (CW: cuts used as part of a lyric)

[unphase]

So, I'm curious. I'm from the 31st century, so I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of music.

What are some good songs and bands?

I love Cuts You Up by Peter Murphy and Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division personally, but I'm willing to listen to just about anything.

Except for music for the Terran father god. Yuck.

Thanks! ❤

Comments

[survivalthroughhate]

While it is difficult to break away from what they wanted us to be, I think the harder part by far is not still falling back into that role. Sometimes it happens to me unconsciously until it is pointed out by other people how much I am acting like him.

Sometimes, I am thankful to only have the lifespan of most humanoid species. Yes, it doesn't happen often, but there are some species who can live to an immense age so long as they are not killed by other means.

[unphase]

Yes. I know that I'm nothing like my father and that's a good thing. But the older I get, the more I wonder how much of my mother I have in me and how that's going to be expressed. There's a person back home I have reason to have a very strong grudge against and part of me wants to see her get some kind of karmic blowback.

I wonder what that's like. Though, I'd worry about becoming stagnant if I lived for thousands of years.

[survivalthroughhate]

Yes, it is sometimes hard to become a different person than who they wanted us to be, but I think it is important to remember just that. We are different people, not them, and so we have the ability to make our own choices beyond what they wanted for us.

Yes, I agree. I am not sure how long I would like to live if given the choice with how my life has gone this far, but I would like to see more than a hundred years if I had the opportunity.

[unphase]

Yes. What I want out of life and mother wanted for me are so very different. However, I hate political games and becoming a lady who lunches would bore me to tears. Best to remain how I am, a mother, along with being a sometimes warrior and a sometimes ballerina.

It's certainly possible? I'd imagine it will be fascinating, watching society and technology continue to evolve through the course of one hundred years.

[survivalthroughhate]

Now that is a good list of things to become. Being a mother is a difficult job and not one everyone can do. For myself, I am content to remain a Sith, someone who can kill when it is necessary.

[Of course, for Maul, what was necessary could be as simple as someone insulting his appearance.]

Considering the things I have already seen just in my life, I can only imagine what will happen as the decades pass.

[unphase]

It's hard, mostly because my son is sick with something no one can figure out. He should have been a six month old when I left, instead he was six years old. I can only hope that his father keeps pressing the matter the way I would. And I'm fully prepared to do what's necessary.

[which included killing. if the Other world taught her anything, it was that some people didn't deserve to live. that some people would hurt and hurt and hurt some more unless stopped]

Are you looking forward to seeing them?

[survivalthroughhate]

That does sound horrendous. But hopefully a cure or way to slow down such a disease will be found. You are a good mother to care and worry about him so.

[Granted, Maul's standards of what a 'good parent' are pretty low given they consist of parents that don't torture their kids on a regular basis under the pretext of training to become a Sith. But that's all the reference that he has for the most part.]

Somewhat. I don't look forward to getting older in general but I would like to get past the age at which I die back in my own galaxy.

[unphase]

I like to think so and hope so. I know that my urges to go back home are muted somewhat, but my son cuts through all of that and makes me incapable of being quiescent.

[but his words are reassuring nonetheless. she wants to be a good mother, unlike her own mother. a son. a son would hopefully be spared the brutality of Bgztlian culture and even more so, Bgztlian gossip. if they considered her a fallen woman, so be it. she'd embrace it]

You died, too? I'm sorry to hear that. This place seems to have so many second chances. One for you as well.

[survivalthroughhate]

Good. Missing him and wanting to get back to him is natural. I'd be more worried if you no longer cared about what happened to him.

Not at the present point in time. But I have been flung into my future and know what awaits me if I were to go back.

[Hence one of the reasons Maul has been so adamant about staying in Trench.]

[unphase]

Yes. I know that they're supposed to somehow...repress our urges to go home somehow? But I do my best to resist it, I have to for my son's sake. He needs his mother with him, not being tossed from one planet to another.

That's terrible. A horrible burden to bear. Is there a path around it?

[completely understandable. it seemed as though Trench was a better option for many]

[survivalthroughhate]

Perhaps they will be kind and let you go at some point. Or bring him here to you. One of the two.

[Maul knows how he selfishly hoped for his own family to arrive until Savage finally did. Even then, he still missed his own mother and wished Talzin were here with him.]

No. At the point I go back to, I have lost everything and everyone I cared about. There is nothing for me but years of more pain until death becomes a mercy.

[unphase]

I don't know what I want. Cub is only six years old physically. We were lucky that his brain matured along with him, but this place is far too dangerous for him.

[even though he has a plethora of super-powers and could surely defend himself physically]

I'm glad you have this haven. It may be peculiar, but it's far, far better than a life of increasing misery.

[survivalthroughhate]

True. I've noticed the amount of children brought here is very low and tends to be those that are adaptable enough to survive.

[He thinks of ones like Luca and Chara. They were young, yes, but they were able to keep moving forward without the hardships of this place getting to them.]

Yes. I plan to live out the rest of my life here if I can. Carve out a place for myself in this world and be able to be content even if I cannot reach true happiness.

[unphase]

Yes. While I'm sure Cub could if he had to, as his mother I'd be worried sick.

[besides, her son is just now starting to accept his birth father as his father and not his "uncle" Brin]

I wish you all the best. And perhaps in time, there may be happiness.

[survivalthroughhate]

Thank you. I hope you can find a sense of peace even while missing your family.

[unphase]

I truly appreciate that. Thank you.